Wanted by the Billionaire and the prince

Open your heart again

I don’t feel good. At 23, I shouldn’t be reckless. This is not a romance movie. Also, with the way Julian just fucked me, it’s obvious he doesn’t care about me in the way I want him to. In the way, I want whoever fucks me to care about me. He didn’t even bother cleaning me up. We both smell like sex, and I feel dirty.

Shit! He probably thinks I’m cheap or a gold digger, just like Aaron thinks. Maybe they both discussed it, or they had a bet about me. If Julian fucks me, then one of them wins. Shit! I feel so stupid. What was I thinking? I can never get him to love me now. Not when he probably thinks I’m easy.

I wanted to smack my head and cuss at myself, but it wouldn’t be now, definitely not when I was still with Julian, who was staring at me now with curiosity in his eyes. If I did, he was going to think that I was crazy or, worse still, that I didn’t enjoy the sex, which I did. Feeling stupid for it didn’t change the fact that I did. Besides, Julian just made me aware of how Holland’s muteness affected him. I didn’t want to make him sadder than he was, nor did I want to mess with his ego. It was a consensual act, after all. It was right?

I would scream and cuss at myself, but it wouldn’t be now, maybe when I go back home tomorrow. It’s late now, and I feel sleepy even though I know that when I go to bed, after washing up, of course, I won’t be able to sleep. First of all, it’s a new environment, and secondly, I would be stuck thinking about the sex with Julian.

Julian cleared his throat, pulling me out of my head. I looked up at him but not into his eyes. This time, I avoided his gaze like it was wildfire. Even in the dark, I could not afford to acknowledge them for fear of what I would see.

That he doesn’t give a shit about me.

He is judging me.

He is disgusted.

He is triumphant.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered.

Okay, that was not what I was expecting to hear.

My eyes widened, and my heart skipped a bit. “For what?”

“For the sex.”

“Did you regret it?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

The tension between me and Julian could be wrapped and thrown as a bomb. We were both trying to avoid each other’s gaze as we spoke.

I bit my lower lips, my heart racing hard at the delay of his answer.

Shit! Did post-nut clarity hit him, too? Didn’t he enjoy the sex?

“Julian…”

He took my hands in his, “I was thinking of the best words to tell you that it was by far the best sex I have ever had. Well, it is not as if I am a man with many experiences regarding women. I’ve only ever had sex with my fia_ ex-fiance.” He quickly corrected, clearing his throat.

“She taught me everything I know. I’m sorry if I was too hard on you; it’s just that it has been a long time since I’ve been in a woman.”

“Since my fiance shattered my heart, that is, I’ve stayed away from women, but I just can’t seem to stay away from you. You make me go crazy and so fucking hard. I just want you so much, and anytime I see you, I can’t control myself. Being close to it is just so tempting. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” I blushed. “It was a consensual. It has been so long I’ve been with a man too, well, since my ex.”

I paused, refraining myself from admitting that I loved the sex. I didn’t want to start being too open to him. I didn’t know him yet. Also, I believed he already knew.

“I know I’m not in the best position to tell you this, but you have to let go of your ex. Just forgive her. It’s what’s best for you and your child. Holland needs a mother.”

“You can be that mother.” He blurted.

“I’m sorry for that. Sometimes, I speak without reasoning.” He sighed, exhaling deeply.

“No, it’s okay.” It was not okay; my heartbeat had stopped, and I was already having a migraine from all this. He was making me too hopeful.

There is nothing I would like more than being Holland’s mother. I love her so much.

“Sometimes I feel I’m already like a mother to her anyway. But that’s not what I mean. She needs a real mother. Forgive your fiance and open up your heart again.”Nôvel(D)rama.Org's content.

“She hurt me, you know. I’ve lost all my trust in women. She was a liar, a cheat, and a thief who played in my face for three years. I found out the truth about her on my 29th birthday a year after, and I still suffer from the trauma. I just feel all women are like that, too. Or maybe I always did until I met you. You are a saint.” He smiled, squeezing my hands.

“I’m not really.”I laughed, but inside, I knew I was blushing hard.

He smiled at me. “Do you want me to rush out and get you after pills? I can do that.”

“Oh. Don’t worry. I will get it myself. Thanks for offering. That’s so thoughtful.”

It was. It fucking was.

He doesn’t want another child out of wedlock; it’s not like he cares about you. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Samantha.

“Alright. Your wish is my command. You must be tired. Let me show you to your room.”

“How about Holland? I still need to read to her a bedtime story.”

“I’m sure she’s sleeping now. It’s already past her bedtime. How about we do that tomorrow, okay?

I took his outstretched hands with my left hand and brushed through my hair with my other hand. The last thing I wanted was to leave his office looking like a well fucked woman. Aaron could be waiting just outside the door.

Julian led me to my room downstairs and insisted on opening the door for me. When I got in, he stood by the doorframe, watching me with a smile

“So you know. I have already opened my heart to another woman.” He said when I gathered enough courage to look into his eyes.

You are going to fuck him again, Samantha, are you not?