Balcony
Whenever she goes to a party at a house like the Murphy Mansion, she always finds the time to separate herself from Declan’s crowd. The place is so big that she is bound to find an area where no one goes.
That night, it was the second-floor balcony facing the vast garden at the back. She could see the reflection of the glittering moonlight on the pond. The stillness of the night somehow settled the turbulence in her mind.
The sound of people laughing at Brian’s jokes was faintly heard from where she stood with a glass of champagne in her hand. She’d been taking a glass from every corner of the house where they serve it, chugging it down her throat, trying to forget what Declan said about having a triplet, and … Selma Curtis.
She felt the hair on her back and stood up; the low-cut dress couldn’t protect her from the chill breeze. She rubbed her arms and sighed. She didn’t want to go back inside now that the news about the triplet had become the party’s main discussion or more like the party’s amusement. She pressed her fingers on her brow, she would’ve rubbed her face, but she didn’t want to ruin her make-up.
“Always the star of the show,” Roman’s voice startled her.
She turned to look. He was walking towards her with a glass of champagne in each hand. He was alone.
“You mean your dad?” she chuckled, turned her back on him, and straightened the front of her dress.
“You … of course, I kept hearing them talking about how beautiful you look tonight … I couldn’t agree more,” he stood beside her and leaned on the railing. “I would’ve complimented you before … but I think you always look beautiful.”
She tilted one side of her lips, “Hmm …” She’d lost the will to respond to his sweet talk. “You have a nice girlfriend,” she reminded him.
He scoffed and sipped his champagne, “She’s my date … not a girlfriend.” He glanced at her to see her reaction.
“You must have a lot of those … or so I’ve heard … where is she, anyway?”
Her cynical tone made him smile. He raised his shoulders, “No idea … lost among the crowd somewhere, or mingling with your husband, perhaps, … who knows? Who cares?”
She shot him a look, “Is that how you treat all your dates?”
He moved closer and looked straight into her eyes, “No … just the one I hired so my dad would stop asking me to bring home a girlfriend,” he whispered in her ear.
Her eyes widened, “What?”
Roman laughed and sipped his drink again, “Mm … hmm … why? Are you jealous?” he moved a strand of her hair away from her face with his finger.
“Why would I be? … you’re a free man … you can be with whoever you want,” she chugged down the rest of her champagne.
Her answer didn’t convince him. He took the empty glass from her hand and exchanged it with the full one. “I’m not free to be with you … and you’re the only one I want.”
She grunted, “Oh … please … don’t do that …”
“Do what? Tell you the truth?”
“No, don’t say things like that and pressure me … as if I’m preventing you from having something you want … as if it’s my fault that you can’t get what you want … haven’t you heard? My husband is going to have triplets.”
He fell silent for a moment. She was lashing out at him for something her husband said and put her in distress.© 2024 Nôv/el/Dram/a.Org.
“With you?” he was half joking.
She glared at him.
“Hey … okay … okay … it was a joke,” he put his palms up. “Was this not discussed before?”
“No … this is the first time I heard of it; I didn’t even know he still wants children.”
“Do you?” he sipped on his drink. “Want children?”
She looked at his face. His eyes stared back at her, anticipating the next thing coming out of her mouth. She thought for a moment; how could she be talking about this with him? But he was listening; he wanted to know the answer.
She looked away, “I do,” she couldn’t lie. “It’s the one thing I’ve always wanted.”
He felt a hard knot in his stomach; he didn’t expect to feel that blow to hear her honest response. He let out a long sigh, “With him?” he tried.
She scoffed, “Do I have a choice? Isn’t that the most logical thing to do? To have a child with my husband?”
It burns. It stings. It’s a pinch harder than a punch. Roman was faced with the reality that the woman he was so in love with wanted to have a child with her husband, and that notion alone had shattered any hope he had to be with her.
“Do you love him?” he had to ask.
She felt a lump in her throat; she never found it so hard to answer that simple question. “Does it matter?”
Roman shook his head and laughed lightly, “Olivia … my darling, Olivia … that is the most messed up thing I’ve ever heard.”
She knew that. She was not ignorant. She was just caught up in her desire to have a child that she’d been dreaming of for so long, and now that the chance was resurfacing, she found herself wanting to blindly free falling into the opportunity.
Even though she had convinced herself for years that she was done trying because of what Declan did, the desire was so strong that one small conversation had turned her world upside down in an instant.
“Don’t you think it’s so convenient for him if you’re pregnant with triplets right now? Right at the moment your business is taking off … when you can finally stand up for yourself financially and break away from him?”
It silenced her. She was too eager for the idea of having a child; she knew she was running out of time to do it and to consider this possibility was a chance she didn’t want to take. “Maybe he just wants me to be happy?”
“Of course, he does … that way you will stay with him forever … all he had to do is to throw the idea on the table, he knew you’re going to devour it, have his triplets, give up your business to take care of them … lose yourself in motherhood and live happily ever after … he’s a smart, manipulative bastard, isn’t he?” Roman couldn’t hide the annoyance in his voice.
“A practical man … he can achieve all that with just an idea to have an In Vitro because he wants his amazing wife to be happy …” he chuckled, “Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that … the only thing that’s not sitting right with me is … is that what you want?”
Is there truth to what he’s saying? Or is he just saying that because he was jealous of Declan? He isn’t free from his own selfish desires. How can she be sure? Was he telling the truth when he said Selma was just a hired date? Was he manipulating her too?
She shook her head, “I don’t want to talk about this … we shouldn’t be talking about this … I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, you’re obviously in distress because of this, and I want to help you, I don’t mind … I don’t want you to fall into that trap again … it’s a simple question, and the answer to that will be the solution to your problem … is that what you want?”
“I do … I want to have a child … someone that comes from my womb that I can give all my love and affection to … that I can nurture, cherish, share my years together with it, someone who calls me mom,” she was holding back tears as she said it. It was a longing that she’d been holding back for so long.
Roman nodded; he understood now that he’d seen it. This was how badly she wanted to have a child, and Declan must’ve known that too. “With Declan?” he repeated his question.
She closed her eyes; this question seemed more painful for her. “You don’t understand how it feels … it’s not that simple.”
“It is that simple … do you want to have children with the man who had lied to you? He’s a liar, Olivia. Why are you allowing him to trap you in his lies again?”
“I can’t talk about this … you’re not the right person for me to be talking about this.”
He raised his brows, “Why? Because I’m too young? I don’t understand. I’m not too stupid to understand that you can’t force yourself to have a life you want with someone you don’t love anymore … Olivia … is that accurate enough for you?”
They looked into each others’ eyes for a moment and took it all in. They were arguing like lovers, and they didn’t even realize it. He could see her on a level she never thought was possible for someone who had known her for a short time. She felt naked. He had stripped her from all her guards, trying to conceal what was really the trouble in her marriage. She had lost her love for her husband, and it was such a big shame for her.
“I have to go … he’s probably looking for me,” and like so many times before, she would instead run away than face the truth.
“Really? That’s why you have to go?”
“We can’t be seen like this, Roman; people could hear us,” she said quietly.
He rested his hands on his waist, he didn’t give a damn about what people thought, but he also knew he couldn’t make her stay.
“It’s a great party; I’ll see you at work,” she didn’t wait for him to reply.