Tore Up (Mississippi Smoke Series Book 1)

Four Months Later…

I pulled on the fluffy pink robe that Bane had bought me weeks ago then tied it just above my stomach before opening our bedroom door and stepping out. He hadn’t been in bed when I woke up from my nap. We’d had afternoon sex then he’d held me while I had dozed off. My little guy was keeping me up at nights kicking and pushing on my ribs. I’d been napping midafternoon daily over the past month because of it.

My steps faltered as my stomach dropped. The bedroom door that had belonged to Crosby was open and worse -the lights were on. Who had gone in there? Bane didn’t want that room touched. One night months ago while we laid in bed he had talked about it. How he couldn’t bring himself to go in there or touch anything.

I was torn between yelling at whoever was in there to get out and also worried for their life.

Taking a step closer I saw a small portion inside and paused. Crosby’s room was light blue? That was an interesting choice. Curiosity to see more had me moving another step closer. Bane wouldn’t want the door opened or the lights on. I should tell whoever it was to get out now instead of trying to peek inside.

Before I could do either of those things, Bane filled the doorway. Startled I jumped back like I’d been caught doing something wrong. Maybe I had. I wasn’t sure. The smile that slowly formed on his face was not what I had expected. He was in Crosby’s room and he was… happy about it?

“There’s my sleeping beauty,” he drawled then held out his hand toward me. “Come here.”

I looked at his hand, then his face, then past him into the room. Was this a weird pregnancy dream? Because if we were about to have sex in Crosby’s room then my hormones had taken it a step too far. I’d already dreamed about having sex with him in public and out at the pool with an audience. That was bad enough.

I shook my head.

Bane raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“You don’t want anyone in that room,” I told him or my subconscious. Whichever it was, both needed to be informed that the room was off limits.

“Halo,” he said with an amused tone. “Don’t make me spank your ass. You know I like that. Now, come here.”

I felt awake. This didn’t seem dreamlike. “Why?” I asked.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“Because I want to show you something,” he replied. His expression gentle and his voice almost pleading.

Okay, fine. Maybe he was ready to face Crosby’s things. He might need me for that. To support him.

Taking a deep breath, I walked toward him keeping my eyes locked on his in case I saw any sign that he had changed his mind. When I stopped in front of him, he slid his hands over my stomach to cradle it then he winked at me before stepping back so I could go inside. He waved a hand for me to enter but I didn’t make it very far.

The walls were all a light blue. A round navy rug covered most of the dark hardwood floors. The mahogany canopy crib I’d loved on one of my shopping trips with Grissele sat against the center wall. Black and brown horses dangled from a mobile that hung over it. The name Hawkins was painted on the wall in a dark blue and on each side of his name was framed paintings of horses. One was black and the other a dark brown.

A warm hand touched my back. “Say something. The tears rolling down your face is making it hard for me to just stand here and let you look,” Bane’s voice sounded thick with emotion.

I swung my gaze up to meet his only now realizing I was crying. “You,” I started and had to suck in a ragged breath to keep from sobbing. “You did this.”

He nodded. “I did. My brother would have never wanted this room closed up and the truth is he would have wanted you in here when I brought you to this house and not in the fucking attic. I couldn’t give him that but I can give him this. Hawkins Crosby Cash should have his father’s bedroom.”

I blinked as I stared up at the man who had once been my own living nightmare yet had become my entire world. He was my family… he was my home. I placed a hand on my stomach just as Hawkins decided to kick me. Bane Cash was ours. Not just mine.

“The black horse is Stolen. He was Crosby’s. He will be Hawkins first horse. The brown horse is-”

“Baldric,” I said recognizing him by the black marking on his face. I turned back to Bane. “What about his dad’s horses? Don’t you think they belong on the walls too?”

Bane went still. So still I worried that I’d asked the wrong thing. He hadn’t called himself anything other than Hawkins uncle but the truth was he would be much more than that.

“I don’t,” he paused swallowing hard. “I don’t want him not to know who his father was. I want him to know about Crosby.”

I smiled. “I do too and he will. We will both make sure of it. He will have his father’s name. But, Bane, he is going to need a dad. Crosby wouldn’t want him to grow up without one. You won’t just be his uncle. You’ll be the most important man in his life.”

Bane ran a hand over his mouth and let out a long heavy sigh. “You really think that?” he asked. “That Crosby would be okay with it? Me being his son’s dad?”

I stepped in front of him and ran my hands up his arms. “I think he’d be disappointed if you weren’t. I don’t know what our future holds or where we are going with this, us, but I do know that whatever happens this baby will be a Cash. And he will need you.”

Bane’s expression darkened. “What the fuck do you mean by you don’t know what our future holds?” he reached up and grabbed my hand off his arm squeezing it. “You’ll spend the rest of it with me if you want to save lives. Because if you think I will remain sane if you ever try and walk away from me, you’re wrong. I need you. I can’t live without you.” There was a ferocity in his voice.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” I replied sweetly.

“Then don’t say shit like that,” he said taking my chin between his forefinger and thumb. “It fucks with my head.”

“I won’t.”

His eyes searched mine as if he needed to be reassured that I wasn’t going anywhere before lowering his head and brushing his mouth against mine. The flick of his tongue on my bottom lip had me leaning into him and opening for more. I could never seem to get enough of this man. He had walked into my life threatening to take it and in the end, he’d given me a life better than my dreams.