Tolerating The Player

He drove me safely back home but didn’t say a word all through the drive, he only kept on staring at me from time to time; probably thinking I would jump off the window or do something crazy.

I appreciated the peace and quiet he gave me in the car but I knew he wasn’t going to be quiet when we got home. He parked the car at our usual spot and I came down from it immediately before entering the house.

I went straight up to my room to think because it felt like I had lost all of the hope I had in me, she chose Xavier over me and it might as well be the end for me. I don’t think I can have her anymore. It was nice trying what it felt like to be in love but hell I wouldn’t want to ruin myself anymore so I’m cool with never falling in love with any girl.

I heard a knock on my door and assumed it was Devin. I knew he could have been quiet in the car but there was no way he wouldn’t want to talk to me once we got home but I wasn’t really sure I wanted to talk to him. No one understands me and they definitely don’t understand the feeling of liking someone you ruined and wanting her back.

I stood up from my bed and walked towards the door, I opened the door and walked past him as I left for the kitchen. He let out a heavy sigh before calling out my name, I heard but I chose to ignore and in no time I felt his footsteps behind me. He wasn’t going to let this slide away.

“Can you just stop acting like a child for a fucking minute!” He yelled as soon as he entered the kitchen.

I tried to remain calm so as not to unleash my anger at him as I had no reason to, in order to suppress my anger I decided to cook pasta even though I wasn’t hungry. I brought out the chopping board and big bulbs of onions to start off with.

“Can you even see the way you’re acting? Because I doubt it!” He yelled again and this one got to me.

“Acting? You call all of these an act‽” I roared while he slapped his forehead and I could hear him cursing under his breath.

“You’re just being too much…” I didn’t let him finish his sentence before cutting him off.

“I thought you would get me or at least understand me but I lied to myself, no one gets me and no one understands me. You don’t understand what I feel right now but you call yourself my brother!”

“You’ve never had to deal with something like this but yet you’re out here judging me and claiming I’m acting, Devin the only girl I have ever loved hates me because of some fucked up shit I did to her in the past and how in hell can I resolve that huh? Tell me how in hell!” I roared.

“I fucking crippled my girlfriend and you think you’re the only one with a fucked up life, she loved me but I wanted to be tough on her and i made her crippled! It’s not a reason enough to fuck me up in the head?” He broke down.

“I got drunk and she was after me telling me to be safe and drive safely but I ended up ruining her chances to walk and she could die anytime soon because of her current state!” He yelled and I kept quiet, I actually didn’t ask about how they met. I guess I have only been thinking about myself.

“Rather than you being a baby here why don’t you own up to your mistakes and find a better way to apologize to her, you clearly don’t know anything about her so why don’t you just talk to her friend, if you truly love her you’d drop your ego elsewhere!” He spat and walked out of the house in annoyance with his eyes as red as blood. He was holding back his tears.

The moment he left the house I became more furious and angry. I wasn’t angry at anyone but this time I was angry at myself. I had been selfish all along that I didn’t know about what my brother was facing. I would definitely make it up to him.

Remembering the advice he gave me earlier on, I decided to search for Maya’s number and maybe call a truce with her in order for her to help me. But then it doesn’t sound right, perhaps I should be her friend for real rather than using her for my own selfish reasons so I took out my phone from my pocket and went to our yearly school book to search for her number. It was side by side with Isabella’s and she looked beautiful in the photo with her smiling face but suddenly I saw a lot of pain and sadness behind those smiles.

Dialing Maya’s number, I watched and listened to it ringing without any response from the other side. I almost thought of giving up on it but I just couldn’t bring myself to so I kept on calling her till she finally picked up the phone.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“Hello?” Her voice cracked from the other side and it sounded like she had been crying, was she crying for Bella too?

I didn’t know what to say because I feared she might recognize my voice and hang up.

“Hello?” She asked again as she sniffed her nose but I ended the call instead. A text would be better at this point so I opened my iMessage and imputed her number.

“Hey Maya, meet me at Charlis’:,-)” I sent the message hoping she would read it and maybe consider it.

“Who the hell are you?” She texted back almost immediately. I couldn’t tell her my identity yet so I decided to play an anonymous guy.

“How about you know in Charlis’ ” I sent another text. I invited her to Charlis’ since it was a really busy restaurant that she should feel safe in.

“Look here, I’m busy and I don’t have time for pranks” she texted back, I felt like this wasn’t going smoothly and I decided to give it one more shot.

“It’s really important I meet you, please I’m begging. I just need ten minutes of your time if it’s not too much. Please!” I begged in the text and re reading my text, I realized I sounded like a total hopeless person.

“Okay, I’ll be there in ten minutes” she finally replied after some minutes had gone by. I thought she wasn’t going to reply when she didn’t reply instantly but I guess everything is starting to be smooth. Devin hadn’t been able to come back home after the fight we had earlier, the one which I caused and reminded him of a bad incident in the past. I was sure he had been trying to bury that past but I had to bring it up even though it was unintentionally.

I wanted to dial his number and apologize but at the same time I thought he would need some alone space to think. All I need to do is to find a way to make it up to him.

I left the house as I entered my car to head to Charli’s place. I should probably get there before she does and in no time I was finally there. I scanned for a more convenient place for us to sit and have a little chat.

I sat down waiting for her to come but ten minutes passed by and she was nowhere to be found, eventually I thought she wasn’t going to show up anymore and I had just wasted my time. After waiting for an extra ten minutes I decided to leave but the moment I stood up to leave was the moment she entered the restaurant and I sat down almost immediately.

She brought out her phone to text me and I waited till I got the response.

“I’m there where are you, I really don’t have much time” the text read and if it was to be some other day I might drag her out for keeping me late and talking about not having time but I needed her help and me doing so would only irritate her.

“I’m on a grey T-shirt and I’m staring straight at you, look at your left side” I sent the message and watched how her eyes scanned everyone on the left side before they fell on me. She had a scornful look on her face as she made to leave the restaurant but I can’t let that happen, I’ve gotten this far already.

I stood up from where I was seated as I ran outside to meet her, she stopped walking when she realized I was following her and she turned to bring her feisty face to mine with her hands folded waiting for an explanation.

“Can we just go back in and talk for some minutes” I begged as I panted loudly and she cocked her brows at me without saying anything but observing me.

“I just want to call a truce with you and be friends” I said and she scoffed before turning her back to leave.

“I mean it Maya, I want to be friends with you, know you better so I can also be a better person for Bella and make sure she’s okay” my voice broke at the end of the sentence.

“Oh wow! After shattering a glass you think you can glue it together and make it okay?” She scoffed. I knew I did her wrong but at least I deserve a chance to fix it.

“I just want to make things right” my voice broke as my eyes turned red, I really hope she doesn’t think I’m faking it for sympathy.

She let out a sigh and passed by me as she walked back into Charlis’ but even our table was taken already.

“Fuck!” I cussed but an idea popped into my head. I bought some take out and asked to follow her in her car.