The Wicked Mrs. Gastrell (English version)

Trigger Warning!!!! Suicide. Stay out of this chapter if this topic triggers you. Thank you.

Flashback

“Karina, the rain stopped a while ago. Let’s go. Let’s visit Errol again tomorrow, okay?”

I ignored Kristine’s plea to me. I remained seated and staring at my son’s tombstone while the tears continued to flow from my eyes. I will not leave my son here. I won’t let my child alone, especially when it looks like it’s going to rain. He doesn’t even like it when the weather is cold. He can’t sleep without me hugging him. He needed me. He needed his mommy so I won’t leave his side.

“Karina, please. Let’s go home first. Rest for a while. You haven’t eaten yet. You haven’t slept enough. You’ve been like this for days. Your son won’t be happy if he sees you neglecting yourself.”

“Leave me alone, Kristine. I’m still mourning. I-I still can’t accept that my son is gone.” My gaze shifted to the other two adjacent tombstones where my father and brother lay. “I have nothing left now. Not even one. They all left me. They were all stealthily taken from me.”

Kristine hugged me and rubbed my back. “Don’t ever say that. I’m here for you, my whole family is here for you.”

I shook my head and hugged my knee. “I-I’ll be alone, Kristine. I am alone. They all left me. They all were gone from me. I’m no longer needed here. I want to go to them.”

I heard her whimpering and tightening her hug on me. “I’m still here for you. I know losing a child is no joke, but you can handle it, Karina. Fight. Remember that you haven’t given justice to your child and your family yet.”

I smiled bitterly. “I don’t have anything I can do against them, Kristine. Even Errol’s own bloodline is on their side. I’ll just let nature run its course. As they say, revenge is not for people. It’s God’s.” I closed my eyes in a hope to feel better for a moment but just a second later the unforgivable pain returned. “I’m so weak… I’m so weak.”

Kristine calmed me down and forced us to go home. When it was eight o’clock in the evening, I agreed to go home for a while to eat, but I knew to myself that I would go far away from food.

After arriving home, I couldn’t help but cry. Every corner of the house reminds me of my son-the old crib where I first put Errol to sleep, the children’s clothes scattered on the floor because I had to choose what to wear for his funeral, the milk sachets and feeding bottles, and his beloved toys that he sleeps with every night. No matter where I look, I see, smell, and feel my one and only child.

“Just wait a moment my son. Mama will follow you. I will follow you,” I whispered as I tearfully stared at the photo of my son hanging on the wall. This was taken at his baptism. He was frowning as he tried to take off the white shirt he was wearing.

I smiled at the picture and started cleaning the whole house. I put Errol’s toys and clothes in boxes before putting them in a corner. I washed the dishes that had been in the sink for days, changed the curtains, sheets and pillowcases, and swept the floor. When I finished, I took a shower and changed my clothes, then got paper and a ballpoint pen and wrote two letters for Kristine and one for Cholo. I also had to throw away the papers several times because my tears kept getting them wet.

When I finished writing, I carefully folded it and put it in the envelope and I put Kristine’s name on the back. I left it on the table so my friend could easily see it.

I stood up and with a smile, took a bottle of medicine from the top of the dresser and took a jug. With shaking hands I poured all the contents of the bottle and put it in my mouth then took the jug of water and drank it. I wiped my mouth, took the pictures of my whole family, hugged them, and lay on the floor. I want to feel so cold. I want to feel the biting cold one last time. I know that I will only feel pure heat from there.

A few more hours passed before I felt the opening of my eyelids. I’m also short of breath and my head, chest, and stomach are hurting. I closed my eyes and prepared myself to embrace the darkness.

The surroundings are quiet. Any minute from now I will see my father, brother, and son again.

Sorry for the weakness but this is the only way I can see. It’s the only solution to my aching soul. I don’t want to suffer anymore. I’m tired of crying. I want the pain to stop. It’s a relief to think that I have a lot to do but I don’t see any light in my life anymore.

For the last time, my tears fell as the door opened and footsteps followed. I tried to move to find out who they were but I couldn’t move. Why is Kristine so early?

“Hurry! She’s still conscious. Get the ambulance ready! We need to take her to the hospital. Contact my wife. Tell her we got Karina already,” said a voice.

A pair of eyes full of pity looked at me. He later spoke to me.

“You’re safe, Karina. Hang in there. It’s going to be okay,” he promised me.

I still wanted to object, tell him to leave me alone but everything gradually faded from me until I was surrounded by a peaceful feeling.

When I regained consciousness, I was in a white room and lying on an elegant bed, but instead of being surprised and afraid, I just cried again. Why am I still alive? Why did they bring me back to life? I don’t want to live! I want to die!

I just wanted to die!

Dead. Father, Diego, is dead. And… and… my baby… Dead… They killed them. They killed all of them…

I screamed as I heard what sounded like a voice talking inside my head. I covered my ears with my hands and snuggled into the bed.

“Yes! They’re all gone! They left me! They killed my family! Stop! Don’t do it again!” I shouted and threw the things that were on my side. Shards littered the floor and a few splashed on me. Blood dripped from my hand.

My eyes widened as I stared at the blood. The memories of Diego bleeding came to my mind. Scenes of my son lying bleeding on the road followed.

“I don’t want to remember it! Let me rest! Please! Have mercy!”

I slapped myself several times to numb myself. “I don’t want to live. I don’t want to live anymore!”

I heard the door open and close but I remained on my knees holding my head. I couldn’t stop the voices and scenes. They all don’t stop! Please stop already!

“It’s okay, Karina. You’ll be okay,” said a gentle voice as the bed beside me moved.

I looked up at the stranger with cold eyes.

“Who are you? Why am I here? Why did you save me? I don’t want to. I don’t want to live anymore.”

“Hush. Hush.” She reached out and hugged me gently. “Dying is the last thing you should be thinking about. You are an Alcantara. Being a member of a strong clan runs in your blood. No one oppresses us. No one defeats us. We’re so wealthy they could only stare at us in envy. We’re so powerful we could kill anyone we want so stop making yourself a mess.”

I didn’t understand anything she was saying except for the words that stuck in my mind.

“Kill?” I said softly again, feeling hypnotized while staring at her beautiful long and thick eyelashes.

The beautiful woman nodded and caressed my cheek. “Yes, baby. Kill. Murder. We could do that to anyone. That’s how powerful we are.”

I remembered the people who did this to me. Ymir and Elizabeth. I want to kill them all! I need justice before I kill myself again. I clenched my fists and shook my head. “I want to kill them. I want to kill them but I have nothing against them. Nothing.”

“Shhhh. That’s why I’m here. I’m here for you. Just do what I wanted you to do and I’ll help you kill whoever is making all these sufferings to you. Oh, what a poor baby.”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“Casindra!”

We moved together to look back at the one who spoke in an angry voice. The first thing that immediately registered to me was the man’s eyes in the doorway and the large steps leading up to us. Unlike the woman she called Casindra, I could read emotions in his eyes, pity for me and anger for the woman next to me.

“Get off her!” He immediately put me in his arms and threatened Casindra with a warning voice. “Don’t you dare put your poisonous words into her mind unless you want to be completely cut off from entering the vicinity of Monte Vega, you understand me?”

The woman’s smile turned sarcastic as she stood up and faced the man. “Chill, Zen. I was just giving our newest family member a welcome hug. Besides, don’t be too proud of that. You were just lucky for being first. I’m still an Alcantara so I have every right to be in Monte Vega.” She turned to me and smiled. “Welcome home, cousin. I can’t wait to play with you.”

She gave us another smile before walking out the door.

“Wait a minute! We’re not done yet. You’re going to help me,” I called to Casindra who stopped at the door.

Zen held my face in his hands and advised me in a calm voice. “Karina, don’t listen to her. She’s just using you. Whatever she had told you, forget all of it.”

I pushed the man away and covered my ears. “Forget?! I would have forgotten if you hadn’t saved me! I don’t want to live anymore. I just want to follow my son! What I want is revenge! I want justice for the deaths of all of them!” I hit my head when the voice inside me started to make noise again. “That’s enough… Stop… I just want to rest. I’m tired.”

“You need to rest again, Karina. I’m sorry but I have to put you to sleep again.”

I felt something injected into my arm that made me numb. My body lost strength and the sound of the environment weakened. I looked at the man who immediately supported my body to lie down.

“Sleep now, Karina. I promise you that everything will be okay. You’re home now.”