The Wicked Mrs. Gastrell (English version)

Flashback

I want to follow them because there is no point in living anymore. I did everything, I worked hard for them so now that they are no longer in this world, there is no reason to continue my suffering.

Because why would I still fight if I have no reason anymore? My father and brother are dead. What’s the point of living if they’re not by my side?

Maybe others will say that I should live for myself, but what if I want to give up? All my life, family has been the center of my life. They have been life for me.

I don’t want to continue anymore. I don’t want to wait for morning. I miss them both so much. I want to see them again. I want to hug them again and apologize because if I didn’t let my heart fall on Cholo, they wouldn’t be dead today. I made a fool of myself and daydreamed of something impossible.

I thought I could hold on to Cholo’s words that he can take care of me, that he will protect me but where is he now? Didn’t he even wonder why I was missing? Didn’t he even look for me? Am I really worthless to him?

The rain poured down on Diego and dad’s gravestones. My tears fell, but I did not move from sitting on the ground. I just stared blankly at nothing. I can’t feel the cold. I feel nothing inside but emptiness. My whole body is numb. It’s like I become a key doll with a drained battery.

I looked up at the dark sky and raised my palm to catch the raindrops. Why is this my fate? What did I do in my previous life to experience this situation? I was kind. I didn’t hold any grudge against my mother even though she abandoned me then. I never once complained when I couldn’t go to even one Christmas party because I didn’t have any food to contribute. I was not selfish to my neighbor.

The only thing I asked for was to serve father and Diego, to give them the life I dreamed for all of us. They are my joy so taking them from me is like killing me.

I stood up bitterly. I smiled and wiped away the tears.

“Don’t worry Diego, dad. I’ll follow you. I won’t leave you two alone there. I-I’m on my way. Wait for me.”

I turned around sluggishly and pulled myself up to walk. I hug my wet body, my stomach has been grumbling for a while but I don’t feel hungry. I’m tired, yes, but I know that neither sleep nor rest can make it go away.

My tears fell again when I remembered my whole family that suddenly disappeared in just one day. Sobbing, I fell to my knees and buried my face in the grass.

“I don’t want to… I can’t do it anymore… That’s right, please… I’m weak. I can’t do this… I hope you just give it to someone else because I really can’t do it anymore. I’m weak.. . I’m so weak.”

Suddenly, the violent downpour didn’t wet me anymore. I looked up and the first thing I saw was black. There was someone at my feet with an umbrella. I blinked my tear-filled eyes to see his face, but the second I blinked, the surroundings seemed to dance. I held my chest and shook my head as everything went dark for me.

I realized that someone was supporting me before I passed out.

Cholo… Thank you for coming for me.

When I opened my eyes, it was morning and I was in an unfamiliar room. I sat on the bed and looked around blankly.

My tears flowed silently as I remembered everything again. Why did I wake up? I hope I don’t wake up because I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to anymore… I’m fed up.

The door opened and an elderly woman entered.

“It’s good and you’re awake. Oh, from now on, take better care of yourself. You’re pregnant. Your pulse beating is very fast. Our neighbor’s midwife confirmed it. She was the one who looked at you after you passed out. . Where is your husband or family, any mother? Why do they leave you alone on the road? What is your name?”

I hesitated when I said that there wasn’t a single person left with me, but what I heard earlier caught my full attention. I’m pregnant? Cholo and I will have a child? In that case, I would have killed both of us if I had followed through with my last night’s plan.

I froze at the thought. I held my flat stomach. Nope. I still have a reason to live. God gave me a reason to live.

I was ready to take my own life but the sun came into my life.

This is it. Cholo and I will be having a child.

After thanking the woman, I returned home to Sta. Barbara and immediately packed. I will return to Cerro Roca. I will return to Cholo. There was nothing to stop me anymore because Ymir’s men left the house after they took my brother to the funeral home. I don’t know why and I have no intention of finding out.

Even though I had no appetite, I forced myself to eat so that I would have energy for the long trip.

On the way, I took a short nap only to wake up crying because I dreamed about my family again. I rubbed my stomach and promised myself that I would do everything to protect the child, something I had failed to do with my family.

When I got off the terminal, I wasted no time. I immediately went to Cholo’s house where I used to stay. There was no one there, so I went straight to the Gastrells’ mansion. I even had to leave my only ID with the subdivision guard just for him to let me in.

I waited on the other side of the road to wait for him. Cholo should be the one I should talk to directly. He needed to know my condition immediately before Ymir came between us again.

I took out my water and sat in the shade of a tree opposite an abandoned house. Its wooden fence is rotting and some windows are broken.

I waited for a few hours for the possible sign that Cholo was inside. Seconds turned to minutes that turned to hours. It was hard for me because I was getting weak but I walked to the guardhouse again to ask but I didn’t get an answer again so I just went back to my old place and ate the remaining crackers I brought.

Nope. I will not give up. I will see Cholo and talk to him. Even if I wait a few hours here, it’s fine for the sake of our child. He is my only hope. I will stick with him no matter what happens.

A few hours passed and I didn’t realize that I had fallen asleep leaning against the tree. It’s noon but luckily it’s windy so it’s not too hot.

I heard the hum of an approaching car so I immediately stood up and peeked at it. I was a little nervous because I might not have realized whether Cholo had come home or left while I was sleeping.

My heart seemed to stop beating when the car stopped in front of the mansion. The door opened and Cholo came out wearing a suit. I cried with so much happiness. Thank you for hearing my prayers.

I picked up the bag that was on the ground and slung it over my shoulder. I was about to cross the road when I saw Elizabeth come down and reach for Cholo’s hand.

She kissed Cholo in his lips to which he responded by reaching for Elizabeth’s waist. It felt like being punched in the stomach by what I witnessed. I let go of the bag I was holding and just stared at the couple who entered the house hand in hand.

Am I too late? Is it them again? But did they really break up or was it just me who got in the way of the two of them?

How about our child, Cholo? Will we continue to beg for love from you? How about us? What about us?

I shook my head at the thought. Bullshit. We have never been anything. He paid for my body as well as my pretending to be his wife. I am paid for my service. He bought my time, so I’m a fool if I’m still under the illusion that we both have somewhere to go.

Since then, Elizabeth has owned him. She is his only love and will continue to be his love while I am only a memory in the cold nights.

I wiped the tears that I didn’t realize were already flowing and then crossed the road. I didn’t go for Cholo’s love. I went for our child. That’s it. My child’s future is more important than my personal happiness.

“Ma’am, who are they looking for?” asked the security guard who came out of the gate.

I swallowed before answering. “Is Cholo in? I would like to talk to him. It’s very important. Please tell him it’s Karina Versoza.”From NôvelDrama.Org.

The man nodded. “Alright. I’ll let you know. You stay here first.”

I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard that. With hope in my chest, I waited at the side until the guard returned.

“Miss, I’m sorry but Sir Cholo refused to talk to you. He also ordered us to escort you out.”

“Who? W-why? Please have mercy on me. Please call him again. Please tell him it’s really an emergency. I really need to see him right now,” I begged. I was confused why he was pushing me away. What did I do for him to treat me like this? Shouldn’t he be wondering where I’ve been these past few weeks?

“Miss, I’m really sorry, but I’m just doing my job. Leave now or I’ll be forced to call for back-up.”

Someone honked behind the gate so I had to step aside to open the gate and let the car out. My eyes rolled inside. This is the perfect opportunity for me to get inside. I’m desperate. I will do everything to talk to Cholo.

I waited for the car to come out and started running inside. But I didn’t do any of my plans because of the man in the car. I froze in place as Cholo and I locked eyes for a few seconds. He’s wearing headphones and black glasses. I even saw how he leaned his head to the side before he was completely covered by the rising car window.

For a few seconds I stared at the place where the car was earlier. What’s the matter? Why didn’t he come out? Why doesn’t he seem to see me? Why is he acting like he didn’t see me?

I picked up the bag with my shoulders slumped and walked away in shame. In my mind, the scene replayed where I watched him ignore me earlier.

I held my stomach and smiled bitterly. We are really the only allies left in this world, my child. Only you and I will be together from now on. I will live for you. I will fulfill the dreams I promised Diego and dad for you.

I’m sorry my child but it looks like you’re going to be like me again, a child whose family is not complete. I’m really sorry.

Let it go and one day you will see your father too but not now yet. Mom will heal the wounds first. Mom will be strong for you first. For you.

That day, I experienced again how to fail and get hurt over and over again. On countless occasions, I have experienced losing and being abandoned by people I loved dearly.

And every time that happens, my heart breaks several times that the only thing I want is for someone to stay by my side to love me.