The Villainess Won't Die

I STARED AT HIM ANNOYED, "Did you only pay attention to that part, dumbass?"

"Come on, Nat, you have to agree with me that this name is ridiculous. And why repeat the 'Beats' three times? What's the meaning behind that name? And why name a jewelry store, of all places, like that?" I do agree with him and I confess that I thought the same when I first heard it, but there's no way I'm going to tell him that.

Rolling my eyes, I explained to him, "The owner has a little daughter who's still a kid. She named the place and for loving her, he let it be like this. Try not to judge such a thing that easily like that, Ash," kind of hypocritical for me to say that when I did the same. But no one has to know.

"Okay, I won't do it again. I mean... I'll try. But I still don't think I'll be able to say this name and still take myself seriously. It's too-"

"Childish," Kate blurted. "As it should be if it was a child who named it. Besides, I think is rather adorable that he didn't deny or threw away his daughter's idea just because it sounds a little ridiculous." Her eyes had a dreamy glow on them as if she was imagining how would it feel to have a kid of her own. She must want to be a mother, in the literal meaning of it, not like the relationship we have.

"Master Thorin would probably do the same in this situation," I spoke faster than I could control my mouth. For Mikla's sake, why can't I stop trying to act like a matchmaker? It's almost stronger than me.

Funny, because I don't see myself in that position at all. But a part of me wants to see everybody I love finding their true love and having a good life together. Maybe I blocked myself unconsciously, because, deep down, I don't believe I'll survive at the end of all of this.

Neither do I think I want to.

"He, one hundred percent, would. Master was always extremely caring to us as if we were his kids, it's not for nothing that he became a fatherly figure for both of us," Asher added, joining me. Rooting to see Master in a relationship just as much as I do. "I hope he'll be able to realize his dream of being a father one day. Of having little kids who will look like him," and we are being honest about that part.

Sir Thorin Meelany is a gentleman to the core, and even though he's a warrior, he's still handsome. Being as tall as my dad, with a body sculpted and full of muscles, tan skin, wavy short dark-brown hair, lilac eyes, and a deep voice that complements his persona like a cherry on top of a cake. And he's smart and skilled.

Back in the north, there are a lot of girls and boys who have a crush on him, but he's the stern and oblivious type. He doesn't seem to care about that. But knowing him as we do, we know that he's affectionate under the surface. Now, Kate is only 27, she was a kid when she started taking care of me like a mother. My dad offered her, as my nanny, the opportunity to learn etiquette and to have a good education, so she's also very smart and can stand her ground, not to talk about her luck to have a big amount of magic which is quite rare when it comes to commoners. Moreover, she still has a lot to experience, and being so young wouldn't be a problem for her to have children. I just hope this baby won't grow up in a world filled with wars and blood-bath where death is all around us.

"I know what you guys are trying to do," Kate started, surprising both of us and we tried to look away, to pretend we didn't know what she was talking about. "There's no need for you to try acting as matchmakers, kids. Although I appreciate it. But if something happens between us, it'll be because the Goddess let it happen and because we are destined to be with each other."

Ugh, how boring.

I looked at Asher to see if he was also disgusted like me, but he had the same glow on his eyes. The eyes of someone who dreams to be loved and have an adorable and peaceful life by marrying their loved ones. A person who dreams of marriage, a partner, kids, and grandkids. I can't relate.

Not being able to feel good at that sight, I turned to the windows and watched the rain, trying not to think about how sick my belly becomes when I think about romance. Swallowing the sudden desire to vomit. Biting my bottom lip to think about other matters but that.

It's unknown to me why I feel like this when it comes to romance and couples like this. Especially when I've never been in love in my past life. At least... I don't have any memories of such a thing. And the strangest thing is that it only happens when it comes to me because I would be glad to see my loved ones realizing those dreams, but not me.

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There are some holes in my memory overall. I can feel some pieces missing, but I can't figure out what does that means. It's the same when I try remembering who stole my magic, but my mind is vacant when I try recording what happened on the two weeks around the time I lost my magic. Thanks to that, I don't know what day did it happened, nor who was around.

Did something happen in my past life related to romance? If yes, when? And why don't I remember? Could Dalilah have found a way to wipe my memories about it? Is that why I feel sick when I try to see myself in love with somebody else? But... if I had a relationship with somebody back in the first timeline, was the person alive when I died or not? If yes, how must this person have reacted to my death?

Ugh, thinking about this is making me sicker than before.

I don't know what's happening to me. It's frustrating that I don't have any idea of what's causing this on me. And feeling frustrated makes me angry.

Finally, Kate broke the silence and made me get out of my thought zone. "But, Princess," I turned my eyes to her. "How do you know about this jewelry, about what they are capable of doing, and the origin of its name? Because I don't remember you coming here." I was kind of already expecting these questions from Kate. Especially when she's such a cautious person.