Chapter 404
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She probably thinks she is hiding it from me, but I can tell something is wrong with Ayla. Ever since Hannah begged her to reconsider her punishment it is as if she has grown a little dull. Almost like she was muted, I can only hope she brings it up when it is just the two of us. That would mean she trusts me enough to let me in. To tell me what is bothering her. I know she trusts me and will tell me eventually. I just hope that she will tell me soon so I can be there for her. She has known Hannah her entire life and I know it must be hard for her to deal with Hannah being a rogue now “because of her decision”
Surely, the other option would have been worse. I had good reasons to believe that if it hadn’t been for Ayla requesting such a lenient punishment. Hannah would have been executed. It was the punishment Dad told me he would have asked the Council of Elders for if it was not for Ayla, wanting to spare her life. That’s why she wanted to see Hannah two nights ago. If she hadn’t been pregnant I was fairly sure Ayla‘ would have agreed with having Hannah executed. Hannah should thank the Moon Goddess that my beautiful mate was so warm and kind–hearted that she not only spared her life. But even allowed her to live out the rest of her days in freedom. Where she could build a life with her pup.
Granted it was not ideal but rogues have been known to go and live amongst humans. As a wolf, you can even find a way to make sure your don’t lose your wolf. All you needed to do was to go on regular runs. In your wolf form of course but with a little planning, Hannah would be able to. She could tell her pup all about werewolf culture, and teach
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them how to shift. Take them on runs and in the end let them travel
some packs to find their mate. Granted, it wouldn’t be the best life for a young wolf. It would or could still be a fulfilling one. David and Hannah were the only ones responsible for the fact that their pup had no pack to grow up in. No other wolves, that wanted to be in their or their pup’s life. Like how David was the only one responsible for the fact that his firstborn would grow up without a father.
Maybe this was easy for me to say though. All I saw when I looked at Hannah was the she–wolf worried about the wolf that mistreated her and all of her pack and family members. The monster who killed his family just to try to get the mate that he rejected back. Ayla being my second. chance mate was only part of it. Nothing of what David did, what Hannah supported was okay. Maybe it would be less personal if it wasn’t my mate. The one I loved so much. But I would have petitioned the two-
of them to be executed.
Ayla was different though she was far more forgiving and kind–hearted than I am. It was something I loved her for. Something that I admired but I know sometimes it was hard on her. Even without her telling me I knew she was either doubting her decision or feeling guilty about it. She shouldn’t be, not when the woman she was feeling sorry for tried to ruin. her life. Hannah told Cynthia to be careful not to become like her. Everyone found it odd that Cynthia was the one who helped Hannah get her things in order until Mom pointed out that the two of them had spent some time being locked up together. With Ayla as a common enemy of
some sort.
Mom figured they might have formed a kind of friendship, something we
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all agreed on after we thought about it. Hannah’s warning to Cynthia should be a warning sign to Ayla. Proof that the two she–wolves had spoken about her in some unkind way. After all, Hannah warned Cynthia to let it go and not end up like her. Yet all it seemed to do was make Ayla feel worse.
***
The second the gates to the pack ground closed Hannah standing on the other side and grabbing her chest as the hurt of becoming rogue coursed to her body. Ayla had gone to her office saying she needed to study for her education to become a Queen. At first, I figured she did not want to see Hannah going through all that pain. Even if I felt it was deserved I walked away too. I would never watch another wolf suffer.
Or well I might watch David suffer for all he has done to my wonderful mate but nobody else. But it had been three hours now, and Ayla still hadn’t come out. She had skipped dinner letting me know she was not hungry. it worried me not just because there was a very high chance she was pregnant meaning she would need to eat enough. Sometimes with how hectic our lives were we forgot just how much stress she had been under lately. Even the sessions with her therapist were on hold now. She had to cancel due to heat, she had to skip one because of an important meeting the week before. Now we would reschedule when the heat wast
over.
But with the trial starting directly after the heat, Ayla hadn’t had the chance to schedule a new appointment. Let alone attend one, meaning she has been without therapy for three weeks. Both for
her mental well-
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being and for her physical well–being. When the last days must have taken a toll on her physical and especially mental health. I wanted her to eat and I wanted to cheer her up without making it too obvious I was worrying about her. Knowing her she would just feel bad about it again.
Ultimately I decided to make her oven–baked sliders with my crispy oven–baked garlic potato wedges. Mom had given us some of her famous. coleslaw before so I paired it with that. Thirty minutes later I knocked on the door of her office. Unsurprised at the fact she didn’t answer me. She would often put on her headphones if she was trying to focus, or just wanted to cut herself off from the outside world. She wasn’t ignoring me on purpose. Opening the door while carrying a tray with two plates of food and two glasses of Dr. Pepper was a challenge but I eventually managed too.
“Darling, I got hungry and I realiii..” I started to tell her my excuse as to why I brought her dinner to her office. But my words fell away when I finally saw Ayla. I almost let the tray fall from my hands as my heart broke and what I saw. Something I never expected to see even if I should have. Everything has been leading up to this, but I got too caught up in life, I was so excited to be able to rebuild things with Ayla. To take more steps toward the future. That I hardly ever considered if Ayla was ready to take these steps. If Ayla was as excited and as capable of rebuilding our lives together. She would always push aside my worries, and I would let her because it was easier. So ultimately I was to blame for this.