The Mate He Hates

Amanda’s POV

Going back to Beta Matthew’s room, I shut the door and sat on the bed. My eyes were clouded with tears as memories of what I did in the garden flooded my mind. I felt so disgusted with myself. How could I let him have sex with me, and why did I want it so much? Why did it feel like a goodbye? Why couldn’t I reject him and push him away when he touched me? At least now I have the right to push him and say no, but no, I didn’t do that. Instead, I loved it and wanted more.

Frowning, I sniffed myself and realized I had his smell all over me. If Beta Matthew finds out about this, he won’t be happy. So quickly, I undressed and went into the shower. Standing in the shower, I began to scrub my body, almost as if peeling it. I wanted everything about his touch and smell taken off from me.

After several minutes in the shower, I decided to turn it off and go back to the room. I put my gown back on and then lay on the bed before switching off the lights. My mind wandered to Alpha Edward. Were the words he said in the garden really true? Had he really fallen for me, or was it because he loves having sex with me? The thought of him actually loving me made an uncomfortable feeling hit my stomach, but I frowned and shook my head. Even if he loves me, it doesn’t change a thing. That man has inflicted so much pain on me, and those memories are stored in my head, never leaving. There was no way I would want to be with such a man. All I needed was to go to France and start a new life, forgetting all that happened here.

Waking up the next morning, I took my bath, and while returning to the room, a knock landed on the door. Knowing it was Beta Matthew, I went for the door and opened it. He smiled at me with a shopping bag in his hand.

“Here, I got it last night but couldn’t give it to you because I didn’t come back home.”

“Where were you?” I asked while quickly glancing at him. He looked so tired and worn out.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.

“Is something wrong? Please tell me,” I pleaded in panic, praying that he wasn’t going through problems because of me.

“Calm down.” He placed his hand on my shoulder. “It has nothing to do with you.” He tried assuring me, but I wasn’t convinced.

“Please tell me what is going on.” I pleaded, and he sighed and gave me a weak smile.

“I’m searching for someone, and last night I got a lead,” Beta Matthew confessed, his eyes revealing a mixture of hope and exhaustion. “It’s a personal matter, but nothing for you to worry about, Amanda.”

I frowned, not entirely convinced. His attempt to reassure me only heightened my anxiety. “Are you sure? If there’s anything I can do to help, please tell me.”

He shook his head gently, squeezing my shoulder with a comforting grip. “I appreciate that, Amanda, but this is something I need to handle on my own.” He handed me the shopping bag, changing the subject. “Here, I hope you like it.”

Reluctantly, I took the bag, forcing a small smile. “Thank you, Beta Matthew.” I peeked inside and saw a beautiful dress, a deep shade of blue, soft and elegant. “It’s lovely.”

He nodded, looking somewhat relieved. “I want you to wear it for your journey. We will be leaving in an hour.” His eyes searched mine, and for a moment, it felt like he wanted to say something more, but he stopped himself. “I have to go out again, but I’ll be back soon. Get ready, okay?”

I nodded, watching him leave with a heavy heart. The room felt colder without him, and I was left alone with my thoughts once more. I knew Beta Matthew was hiding something, and it troubled me deeply. I longed to help him, to repay him for his kindness, but it seemed I could only stand by and watch as he struggled.

Sighing, I sat back on the bed, holding the dress against me. The fabric was soft and comforting, a small distraction from the worry inside me. My mind wandered back to the garden, to Alpha Edward, and the confusing emotions he stirred within me. Was it possible for someone to inflict so much pain and yet still claim to love? The thought was unbearable, and I shook my head, trying to erase the memories.

No, I needed to focus on my plan. France was my escape, my chance at a new beginning. I had to be strong and not let these emotions cloud my judgment. I glanced at the clock, realizing I had spent too long wallowing in my thoughts.

Inhaling deeply, I stood up and decided to try on the dress. As I slipped it over my head, the fabric hugged my curves perfectly, making me feel a little more like myself again. I put on the shoes that came with it before standing in front of the mirror. Staring at the mirror, I realized I looked so different in the dress. One wouldn’t know I was once a slave and had gone through a lot.

While admiring my look in the mirror, Beta Matthew walked back in and glanced at me, a small smile appearing on his face.

“You look so beautiful,” he said, and I smiled. “All thanks to you. Thank you.” He nodded at my words.

“I have to take you to the airport. My god sister will receive you.” I nodded to his words, and he smiled at me. “Don’t worry, everything will be over soon.” I nodded at his reassurance.

“Let’s go. Don’t take anything with you; you will get everything you need in France.” I obediently nodded.

“We should leave.” He opened the door, and we both left his room. Reaching the sitting room, I met Alpha Edward seated on the couch with a glass of whiskey in his hand. It was as if he were waiting for me. Our gazes interlocked, causing memories of last night to flood my mind, and I nervously looked away.

“She is leaving,” Beta Matthew announced to Alpha Edward, who got up and approached me. When he got to where I stood, he gently took my hand in his, causing my heart to race uncontrollably. The intensity in his eyes made it hard for me to breathe.

“Amanda,” he began, his voice low and filled with emotion, “I know I’ve done terrible things to you, things that can never be undone. But I need you to understand that what I feel for you is real. It’s not just about desire.”

His words were a knife twisting in my heart. How could he speak of love after all he had put me through? I tried to pull my hand away, but his grip tightened, though not painfully, just firmly enough to keep me in place.

“I don’t want to hear it, Alpha Edward,” I said, my voice trembling. “All this doesn’t matter, Alpha Edward. I’m your beta’s mate, and you should respect that.” I spat.

His face fell, a look of genuine pain crossing his eyes. “Amanda, please. Just give me a chance to prove myself to you. I can be better. I will be better, for you.”

Beta Matthew cleared his throat, stepping closer to us. “We need to go, Amanda. The car is waiting.”

Edward’s eyes never left mine, even as Beta Matthew spoke. “I’m so sorry for all the things I did. I hope you can forgive me one day.”

“I can never forgive you, Alpha Edward, not in this life or the next.” I spat with pain while holding his gaze. His eyes looked weak and dull, it seemed he didn’t get any sleep throughout last night.

“Alpha Edward, I will have to ask you to let go of my mate,” Beta Matthew urged, acting angry and annoyed.

He let go of my hand, and I turned to follow Beta Matthew out the door. As we walked to the car, I could feel Alpha Edward’s eyes on me, a heavy weight that I carried all the way to the vehicle.

The drive to the airport was silent; the tension between Beta Matthew and me was consuming. He glanced at me occasionally, as if wanting to say something but deciding against it each time.

When we arrived at the airport, Beta Matthew finally spoke. “Are you sure about this, Amanda? If you stay, I can protect you. You don’t have to be afraid of him anymore.”

I shook my head, a sad smile on my lips. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Beta Matthew. But I need to do this. I need to find myself again, away from all the pain and memories. France is my fresh start.”

He nodded, seemingly satisfied with my decision. “Take care of yourself, Amanda. If you ever need anything, you know how to reach me.”

I hugged him tightly, feeling a sense of gratitude and sadness. “Thank you, Beta Matthew. For everything.”

With that, I turned and walked towards the terminal, ready to leave my past behind and embrace whatever the future held. But as I boarded the plane, a part of me couldn’t help but wonder if I was truly leaving everything behind, or if the memories would follow me wherever I went.