The Mafia Contract Series

WINTER

Angelo slides in beside me and Flynn nods respectfully. “Can I fetch you a drink, Winter? Non-alcoholic of course, boss’s orders.”

He grins as I giggle, loving how good they always make me feel. Being here, back at Rockwell, in my mind at least, it’s as if the past never happened and we can finally look forward to the future.

As Flynn heads off, Angelo drapes his arm around my shoulders, and I rest my head on him like we always used to do.

“How are you?”

He sounds anxious and I smile softly. “Good, thanks. It’s a dream being back here. I may not remember the details, but I know my life was a horror show.”

“Do you remember anything?”

I think about his question and shiver. I’m scared to delve too deep because of the monster lurking around the corner that may just destroy me if I get too close and my voice shakes. “I’m scared of the past, Angelo.”

His hold tightens around my shoulder, and he growls ominously. “Nothing can hurt you now. You have hell’s soldiers fighting your corner.”

“I know.”

I sigh heavily. “Sometimes a flash of something painful hits me when I least expect it. I am always fearing being punished. I can’t even glance at myself in a mirror, and I guess it’s because I won’t like what I find.”

“What do you mean?” Angelo’s tone is even, but I sense the anger radiating from inside him and I whisper. “I may have become a monster to survive. What if I remember and can’t live with what I’ve done?”

“If you did anything, it was because you had no choice which is something we all live with. Fight or flight, as they say, and so you only had one option.”

He turns to face me. “Mafia isn’t an occupation they list as a career option. It’s a business that only a select few can master. We were born into this life and have suffered because of it. We are products of it, and it has molded our souls. We do what we must to get through the day and the darkest nights and I’m guessing that if you did anything, it was with that in mind. When we heard our father murder our mother, it was just another day at the office. Flynn, Ivan, Malik and Alessandro, also bear the scars of who we are. Our life isn’t normal and never will be. We operate in madness and do what we must to survive. The fact you are here now tells me how incredibly brave you are. If you wake up one day and stare at a memory that returns, face it with courage, knowing that it can’t beat you. You conquered fear and fought your way back to us and so don’t cower away from your memories because they are what brought you back to us.”

Just hearing my brother’s usual strong words, give me the reassurance I so badly need. Yes, we have dealt with more in a short life than many ever witness, and I suppose he’s right. It’s made us stronger. Whatever happened in the two years since I left will not make a fairy-tale, more like a horror story. I have no doubt about that and so I grip hold of a firm resolve to face whatever memory is waiting for me and understand that whatever happened was merely a fight for survival.

Malik heads our way and stares at me with concern.

“I’m sorry, Winter.”

“What for?”

“For taking so long to set you free.”

He looks angry and I’m guessing it’s at himself more than anything, and I remember how he always prided himself on being in control. The man who was always one step ahead of the rest, second guessing events before they could affect us.

“It’s not your fault.” I smile and then say firmly, “I may not remember much, but I couldn’t have prevented what happened.”

He sits and says with interest. “So, do you remember anything at all?”

“Not much. Vague memories come back to me and then go as quickly as they came. It’s as if everything is out of focus in my mind. I can sense them, but don’t see the full picture.”

I sigh heavily. “I suppose that’s better than nothing. When something happens to jog that memory, I can remember it as clearly as when it happened. But I need something to prompt it. When I walked in here, the scene was familiar. I knew everything. I remembered how happy I was here, and everything swam into focus. If you ask me about what happened when I left, though, I couldn’t tell you.”

I glance across at Angelo and say anxiously, “Everything’s a blur. I suppose my mind has blocked things out for a reason, but there is an overwhelming sense of something sinister waiting.”

“Can you remember anything about what happened with Massimo?”

Malik voices what I’m guessing they all want to know and Angelo growls, “It’s too soon.”

I shake my head and smile. “It’s fine. Please ask me anything because it may just help trigger a memory. Strangely, I remember nothing except I was so scared. Even now I peer over my shoulder, fearful of something I’m not certain of. I have an overwhelming need to hide, to remain invisible and to keep quiet. It somehow feels wrong even speaking, as if I don’t have permission and I have no desire to see my reflection, almost as if I won’t like what’s there.”

“You’re afraid of looking in a fucking mirror.” Angelo growls with a slow burning rage and I sigh heavily. “When I was in the hospital, there was a mirror in the bathroom. I ignored it. I suppose I was afraid of what I might find in my reflection. When I stayed at Alessandro’s grandfather’s house, there were mirrors everywhere. Again, I tried not to look and if I did catch a glimpse, I quickly looked away. I’m not sure why, but I am fearful of being punished if I speak, or even glance at anything, myself included. It’s always there, as if I’m waiting for something bad to happen, even though I’m now in safe hands.”

Malik looks thoughtful.

“I’ll do some digging. Massimo has many enemies, not all of whom ended their days chained to his dungeon walls.”

For some reason, his words cause a flicker of something that’s a lot like ice running through my veins, immobilizing my extremities, and making it difficult to breathe.

I must gasp because Angelo says quickly, “What?”

I just stare into my mind and am so cold, I shiver and the only thing I can make out were the steel bars of a cage.

Malik’s voice joins me there and he whispers, “What do you see?”

“Darkness.” I shiver as if I’m chilled to the bone and my teeth chatter as I whisper, “It’s so dark. I’m so cold.” Malik’s smooth voice encourages me to dig a little deeper. “Is anybody with you?”

“No. I’m alone and I’m sitting on a swing in a cage. I have nothing on. I’m naked on a swing, and I’m locked in.”

Angelo curses beside me and Malik’s deep voice says firmly, “What else?”

As the memory returns, I can sense the tears falling down my face as I say sadly, “I was his prisoner. The cage was my home until he came for me.”

As I glance up, the image fades and I lean back against the couch and smile through my tears. “I remembered something. That must be a good sign, surely.”

The anger on their faces wraps me in safety. Knowing I have their full protection chases the demons away and I say brightly, “It’s not so bad. At least I was alone and, the good news is I wasn’t his loving wife.”

Turning to Angelo, I need to know. “Please tell me I wasn’t his wife and that my memory isn’t playing tricks on me.”

Malik interrupts. “Alessandro told me what you said, and I investigated further. There is no record of any marriage between you and Massimo Delauren. In fact, you are not listed on any database at all in connection to him.”

The relief is almost overwhelming and drives away the fear from a few moments earlier.

“Thank God.”

I smile happily. “When I saw him at Alessandro’s grandfather’s house…”

“What the fuck?” Angelo looks horrified and I rest my hand on his arm and say firmly, “I needed to. I wanted to face the monster, and I had the best protection by my side.”

Angelo doesn’t seem convinced, but Malik appears interested.

“What happened?”

“I knew he wasn’t my husband. Don’t ask me how, it was just a certainty that was never in any doubt. We were never intimate, thank God, and all I had was a burning hatred for the man who sat before me.”

Angelo looks as if I’ve stabbed him with a knife as he says through gritted teeth, “I never wanted you to be in the same room as him again.”

“It was necessary.” A little of the fire returns to my voice as I challenge my twin. “In order to fight, I need every weapon I can get. Before seeing him, he was just a name, a fearful memory and the monster in the shadows. When I witnessed how he is now, it neutralized the fear in an instant. He can’t hurt me again and the table has turned. Now we have the power, and it was the one thing I was sure of.”

“What?” Malik is quick to ask, and I say with anger controlling my voice, “He needs to live to suffer for what he did. A slow and agonizing death because something’s telling me even that is too good for him.”Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

The pride in Angelo’s eyes makes me smile and then he turns to Malik and growls, “See what you can find out. I want to discover everything about Massimo and his life. There must be something we can use to torture him with. That man will learn what it’s like to be the victim for once and this time death will not be an option. We will make him pay for what he did to my sister, and I’m counting on you to come up with the best way to make that happen.”

Malik nods and it makes me smile, witnessing the look they share. There they are, my mafia warriors and Angelo is right. Far from fearing who I am and what I became, I should celebrate the fact that it’s made me the survivor I needed to be.