Chapter 37. Not yours anymore
Luka’s POV
We were good, we were fine, I thought we love each other. Then all went down the drain when I need to push her away. Again. I needed her to be safe. But then I saw her with that scumbag brother of mine, and I was feeling betrayed.
How did it get to this?
I can’t function. I need my fix.
I had spent the last five days resisting my wants, but my palms were sweating again and my heart was beating faster. I would still remember seeing her shedding her tears for Yegor. What the hell happened in the last twenty-four hours?
Knowing I had sent her away, I had pushed her and told her to find another man, but seeing her with Yegor boiled my blood.
I walked into the house quickly, and get into the bathroom just before Nikolai called me out. I was losing my battle as I take out my baggie and prepare my line on the bathroom counter. Nikolai was knocking at the door, and I quickly snort the line. Five days. I was done after five fucking days.
Feeling the instant high, I put my baggie back in my wallet then I wash my hands and flush the toilet as if I had just taken a piss.
“What?” I opened the door, revealing Nikolai who was looking too deep into my eyes. Shit!
I quickly reverted my eyes and looked the other way, while trying to walk away from him. But Nikolai grabbed my arm and pushed me to the wall.
“I know you’re using again, don’t fucking lie to me. We need you to function, not to get high. Give me the baggie.” He ordered me, making me curse at him.Original from NôvelDrama.Org.
“Fuck you! I’ll function. Just give the stupid job and I’ll get it do…”
I haven’t finished my words when he punches me in the gut and it freaking hurt. Badly.
“You do not get to….” Nikolai said swinging another punch to my other side
“Hey… hey… man… cool it down, I got him, boss.” Demyan was fast getting himself between us. Nikolai backed down and finally let me leave.
I went straight to my room, while Demyan was still trying to control him.
Taking my baggie out, I decided to another line… a longer one. Just to numb the pain.
Feeling the high, I opened my laptop and start my own thing. I was breaking through Yegor’s in-house CCTV and looked back for the twenty-four hours she was with him. I was hoping that he install a camera in his master, lots of mobs do that just for extra security measure. I just need to find the path to it.
And what I saw was them kissing, then she looked upset and leave him to what looked like his bathroom and then he followed her. They didn’t come back out for more than an hour. My mind was putting the puzzle together, and the hurt was much worse than Nikolai’s punches to the gut.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Moments later I was packing my stuff, I know I shouldn’t make any rush decision but my mind was running at a very high speed. I was texting an encrypted message to my contact in Russia. I was offering her the previous deal, in exchange for my accessibility to hurriedly go to Russia.
I am going to destroy Yegor, right from the root. She will never be his, and I will make sure he knows it!
I was scheduled for a private jet leaving the country in a couple of more hours. I was registered under their government, for an urgent leave. Two hours later I snort another line just before leaving the house.
“Luka, where do you think you’re going?” Alexei was asking me on my way out. I was hoping not to get caught leaving the house. I was hoping to contact them later after I arrived in Russia.
“I’m finishing my issues, there’s nothing here for me anymore. She’s here. She’s safe.”
He was looking at me skeptically but didn’t say anything. He let me go. Probably knowing that it was for the best.
Deep down I was making myself a promise, that I would keep my eyes on the Markov’s and make sure everything is good. I owed them that much and so much more. My heartache as I looked at the house one more time. Knowing that I was leaving my love, my brat.. my Olga. She slapped me, she was cutting me deep, the look, the tears none were for me.
Fuck!
My ride was already at the end of the driveway. I finally took that step and leave it all behind me.
An hour later I was looking at the window of the darkening sky over the horizon, and I finally fall asleep from exhaustion.
“Sir, we have arrived. Your driver is waiting to take you to your hotel….”
My eyes opened to the voice, my body was stiff from the seat. But the jet had landed and the cold night Russian air, making my body instantly alert to my new surrounding.
“Thank you.” That was all I say to her as I descend and go to the car, and continued my journey to the hotel.
Klara was waiting for me at the hotel already, her face was stoic. She was my contact on the inside, as she was also my mole. She was very good at her job, she has been helping me since I saved her from her abusive husband a couple of years ago. She almost died, when I accidentally found her badly beaten on the side of the road.
For a field agent as good as hers, I would never guess that she was a victim of domestic abuse. Women and their feelings still amazed me.
“Luka, you should stop using. It’ll mess with your anxiety issues.” She said greeting me, the moment she sees me. She knew about my drug habit, she had helped me cope with it. She knew me when I was a junkie using needles for a quick fix.
“You don’t know the why Klara… this is just temporary. I’m not doing needles, I’m coping that’s why I’m here. I need to get away from her.” I said quickly, realizing I’ve said too much.
“Wow my Luka, with lady problem. Finally, I thought you have no feelings. Come on… sit down, tell me all about her.” She said while making both of us a coffee.
She was like the sister that I never had, we were always there though we would sometimes distance ourselves from each other because we have to, but we would find ways to communicate.
So that night I told her how I met my Olga, and how I have fallen for her, and eventually how I have to leave her to keep her safe.
“And now I’m here to destroy Yegor. I need him gone, he’s not good for her. I’m taking down his operation and nip it in the bud.”
“Luka, I still think you should go back to her after all this and straighten things out. She might think it was her that made you leave, that she betrayed you and that was why you leave.”
“It has never been her, it’s my fucked up family all along…” I finish off my coffee and rest my head back on the couch. It has been a long day, and I was tired. Truly tired.
Klara sighed and said that she was going back to her place, and would pick me up after lunch tomorrow.
“Just rest, stop using … or you will be on their radar. I thought you want to lay low.”
“I know, I will… look thanks for all this, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I was finally alone, resting my naked back to the bed. I was about to sleep when my phone buzzed with an incoming text.
I’m saying goodbye, I’m not yours anymore as you have pushed me away several times already. Goodbye. (Olga)
Shit!