Book To Read
Panic
Sofie’s POV
“Are you sure you really don’t want to eat anything?” Katie’s chirpy voice rang into my head as I stared into space, various unbridled thoughts about my strange illness swirling within me.
I feigned a smile, “Yeah, I’m sure. I had a lot to eat this morning before I left the house.”
“Okay then, but let me know if you want any of my chicken nuggets.” She winked, putting one of the said nuggets into her mouth.
The sight coupled with the mixture of various types of food aromas in the cafeteria made me want to puke my guts out, so I stealthily placed my menthol-infused handkerchief against my nostrils, to prevent further questions from Katie.
I couldn’t even eat breakfast today because the entire mansion especially the kitchen smelled like rotten eggs to me, I had no idea what was going on with me because it seemed the fever had gone but the nausea and testiness still remained.
“By the way, you look really pale and unwell, shouldn’t you still be resting at home?” She asked, raising a questioning brow.
I sighed, “I’m neither pale nor am I unwell, and I’m definitely hale and hearty enough to come for classes, you know you are really just like Roman. The both of you love nagging me for absolutely no reason!” I snapped at her, which took both me and her aback, even though the words came out of my mouth.
I had no idea why I was being so peevish today.
That morning, I had snapped at one of the maids when she asked me whether I wanted her to make me some porridge before I went for classes. The poor lady had retreated back to the kitchen with a sad countenance, and it had made me feel so disappointed in myself.
I had eventually apologized later, when I encountered her, on my way out of the house.
“Is Roman your fiancé?” Katie simply asked, before chugging down a glass of water.
“Yeah.” I muttered, fiddling with the straps of my tote bag.
“Then, he’s right for nagging you, Sofie. You are clearly not in a good condition to be in school right now yet you came even though you look like you’re about to faint any moment from now.” She scoffed, and shook her head.
I huffed as my phone pinged with a text message from Roman. I smiled as I scanned through the endearing text which read;
“Hey, cara. I just wanted to check up on you. How are you feeling now? Is your health better? You should go home if you feel the slightest headache, Sofie. I don’t want you to fall sick again. Have you had lunch yet?
If not, I can ask Melissa to deliver some food to you, that’d be healthier than the wack food college cafeterias serve their students. Take care of yourself, baby.Exclusive © content by N(ô)ve/l/Drama.Org.
My smile dissipated as I read through the last paragraph. The text seemed bland and Roman-esque yet there was still something my delusional ass wished he had wrote.
I wondered when I’d get rid of my stupid, illicit feelings for him.
No, I didn’t think that was even possible at the rate I was going.
“Is that from your fiancé?” Katie interrupted my train of thoughts, causing me to raise my head up, and nod after I sent a reply to Roman.
I told him I was fine even though I obviously wasn’t.
“That’s cute.” She grinned as she stood up, carrying her tray of empty plates, “I’m done.” She stated, to which I nodded.
A couple of minutes later, when we were back in the lecture hall, Katie asked, “So, have you looked into what may be the cause of your sudden mood swings?”
“I don’t have mood swings, Kat and no, I don’t need to. It’s just the flu, I’ll be fine.” I said, trying to reassure myself more than anything.
Maybe if I said it continuously, it’d eventually become true.
“The flu, hm? Okay then.” She raised her hands up in mock surrender, and I just scoffed, retrieving my jotting pad from my tote bag as the professor in charge strolled in, or should I say, waddled in with a huge baby bump.
“She should be off her feet and resting at home. Her baby’s father must be a brute for her to still be working at this stage of her pregnancy.” I gritted out, and shook my head, angry at the faceless man in my mind, who I deduced was the professor’s baby father.
I had no idea why I was suddenly so enraged with a strange and nameless man.
“I second that, just look at her. She seems so exhausted.” Katie agreed, and I huffed before a forbidden thought struck me.
What if I was pregnant?
I gasped at the horrifying thought as I clasped a clammy hand over my mouth to suppress my panic and the sudden overwhelming urge to burst into tears.
Fortunately, Katie seemed to be engrossed in the ongoing lecture to notice that I was having a mini panic attack.
I couldn’t be pregnant, there was no way in hell that could happen because ever since Roman and I started having sex more frequently, I always made sure to take a contraceptive pill at the same time every day, and even before I started taking the contraceptives, I used to take a morning-after pill after we had sex, so how could pregnancy be possible?
Also, whenever we fucked nowadays, Roman always used condoms, so how could anything possibly go wrong?
There was only one answer to this, which was that I wasn’t pregnant and I was just overthinking things.
It was just a bad flu that had struck me, I’d take a flu shot tomorrow and everything will be fine again.
But just to be clear and to erase fear from my heart, I decided to buy pregnancy test kits after school before Roman’s driver arrived to take me back home to the mansion.
As I clutched the test kits to my chest before Roman got home from work, I could feel anxiety building up inside me with one heavy question tanging at my heart; what if the tests returned positive?
What would I do then?
Roman clearly didn’t want kids, he had brushed the topic on the day I signed the contract to be his fake fiancée.
Relax, Sofie. You’ll be fine, everything will be alright because you’ve always used protection. A voice from within reassured me and I nodded at my reflection in the bathroom mirror before hiding the test kits in the farthest part of the bathroom drawer.
By that time tomorrow, I’d know the next line of action to take, I thought to myself as a despondent sigh escaped my mouth.