Taming His Heart

DANNY

Jordan has been my shadow all week. If people didn’t think I was dating Kyle they would think that I was dating Jordan. He has been nothing but sweet. I am starting to think that maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe he is into me, for me. I know I keep thinking that he is into Courtney, but the way he is acting is really attentive. He takes me out all the time. I insist it is as friends, but I know he wants it to be more. He doesn’t even seem to look at Courtney anymore. Could I have been wrong?

I am supposed to meet Kyle after my last class so I kind of ditched Jordan. He would follow me if he knew where I was going. Kyle meets me at the coffee shop. “Hey, babe.” He gives me a quick kiss as I come in. He is still pretending to be an attentive boyfriend.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“So the game tomorrow. Are you coming?”

“Yeah, I’m trying to get Courtney to come with me. She needs to get out of the house.”

He nods. “Yeah, I agree. So, there’s this thing. If we win, the people come out of the stands, you know, to congratulate the team. Well, girlfriends run into their boyfriends arms. So, if you come and we win then you will need to do that.”

“Ok. I can do that.”

“How are things going?” I’m not sure why he’s asking. If he wanted to know he could have talked to me all week. He’s around but not really.

“Ok, I guess. Jordan is around a lot. I think he might like me.”

“Do you like him?” There is this unreadable look on his face. Like maybe pain, or concern, I’m not really sure.

I shrug. “I don’t know. Most of the time I think no, but sometimes, I think maybe.”

He looks sad. “Oh, I see.”

“So, anyway. This cliff diving thing this weekend. Are we doing that?”ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“It sounds like fun. Bridget said I don’t have to jump if I don’t want to. You’re going to be there with me right. Make sure no one bullies me into jumping.”

He gets a soft smile. “You bet. I guess I better take you home. I have a late practice today. Coach wants us to go over tapes. Boring as fuck, but it’s important.”

I nod to him. I take his hand as we leave the coffee shop. He grabs me with purpose. Like I will run away if he isn’t holding me tight enough.

We make it to the apartment, as soon as I open the door. I want to close it again. It is obvious that my sister has company. I mean I am glad that she is getting out of her shell, but she should probably have closed the door. If I can hear it that loud from the front door then the door is not shut. Kyle gets an angry look on his face. “She should be more considerate.”

“It’s alright. At least she is doing something.”

He pushes his way in. “No, that isn’t cool.” Only he heads towards her room and stops short. I see him turn and look in my room. He looks shocked, then he high tails it. “Yeah, you’re right, we should leave. Come to practice with me.”

“Wait.” I know that voice. I hear my sister make a squeaky noise. “Danny, wait.”

Jordan comes out of my room, pulling up his pants. He was having sex with my sister in my room. I don’t even want to know.

Kyle pulls me into his arms. “It’s ok.” I am in fucking shock right now. Do I yell? Do I just turn away and pretend that it didn’t happen? What the fuck do I do? Kyle rubs my back and tries to sooth me.

Jordan kind of jogs across my living room. “Danny, I’m sorry. Fuck. I didn’t mean it.”

Something snaps in me. “You know what, get the fuck out. I always knew you were into my sister. You just didn’t have the balls to admit it. My dumb ass actually thought that you liked me. Stay the fuck away from me.”

I pull out of Kyle’s arms and run to my room, pushing past Jordan in the process. I hear Kyle hit him, but I don’t even care, let them fight. Courtney is getting dressed. “Danny, I didn’t want to do it, just so you know. I saw that you were falling for him. I couldn’t let him hurt you. I had to do something.”

I nod, hugging myself. “It’s fine. I just kind of want some alone time.”

She gives me a sad smile. “I swear, I didn’t want to hurt you. I am done doing that to you. I was looking out for you. Let me clean the bedding and I’ll be out of your hair.”

I just nod. I just feel cold. I can feel tears somewhere, but they aren’t coming. I don’t know if they ever will. I watch as Courtney strips my bed. I feel a pair of arms around me. “It’s going to be ok. I’m here for you.”

I pull out of his arms. “Only you’re not. You come around maybe once a week. You barely talk to me.”

“I’ll be better Danny.”

“I think maybe you should leave too.”

“Danny, you need me right now.”

“I think you said that practice was important. You should just go to that. I’ll see you later. Whenever.” He looks really sad.

Still he nods. “Alright, I’ll go.”

Courtney follows him out of my room with my bedding. I am assuming she will come back with more but I don’t care. I just can’t believe I was that stupid. I knew what he wanted that first day. I just let that thought in that he might actually like me. It weaseled its way in and killed me. Ok, it didn’t kill me. I just feel stupid.

I lay on the bare bed and cried a little. After a few minutes I can feel the bed dip. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry. I just am not as smart as you. I am sure you would have come up with a better way to trap him and get him to come clean. I just didn’t know another way. Please, I am begging you Danny, don’t hate me.”

“I’m not hurt by what you did. I am hurt that I was that stupid. I saw the way he looked at you that first day. He was never interested in me. I was stupid enough to think that I was wrong. That he might actually want me. It’s not like anyone really does. You were right all along. No one wants a girl like me.”

I feel her arms around me. “That’s not true. That was mean and I never should have said it. There are guys that are attracted to you. I have seen them. I know for a fact there are guys that want to be with you. You just have to be patient and wait for them to come to you. Don’t let one asshole make you feel like you aren’t worth it. What about Kyle?”

“What about Kyle? He is a friend. He doesn’t really like me.”

“Really, I don’t see him kissing all his friends.”

“It’s only because he wants everyone to think we are dating.” I jumped up. “Oh, crap. I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Shit, don’t tell him I told you.”

“It’s fine. I won’t tell him. He said you guys had some sort of arrangement. Is that what you’re talking about?”

I nod. “He is trying to win some bet. He said he really needs the money. He has to be with a virgin. And guess who fits that bill.”

She looks ashamed. “I’m sorry you are going through all this. Look, I am going to be a better sister. I have a secret too. I don’t want you to tell anyone ok.”

She looks into my eyes pleading. “I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

“I’m pregnant. I know mom and dad are going to flip and probably kick me to the curb. That’s why I have been sick. That’s why I am a little depressed. I need my sister.”

“I am here for you. Do you know who the dad is?”

“Yeah, an asshole. He left town. He was only here for the summer. I was just some girl at a party to him. You know how I was. This is my fault. I didn’t even care that he didn’t use protection. I was in the moment, thinking I was invisible. Sure I had birth control that didn’t work. But it could have been worse. Now I am facing the consequences for my actions.”

“Courtney, I’ll be here as long as you need me.”

She gives me another sad smile. “I knew I could count on you. Even though I have been a total shit to you. Now, I am serious about this guy. I was just doing what I could to be a good sister.”

“Next time. Use your bed.”

We both kind of laughed. “If it makes you feel any better, he sucked. No game.”

“Actually that does make me feel a little better. I dodged a bullet there.”

We sat there for a while, just holding each other.