SILENT DESIRES

Drawing up her shoulders, she turned around again and stared coolly at him. “If you think because we were once lovers that you can take up where we left off, you’re sadly mistaken.”

He blinked in surprise and then anger replaced the surprise. “God, Savvie. Do you think so little of me that I would try to force you into a sexual relationship?” he asked. “What exactly do you take me for?”

“You don’t want to know the answer to that.” She replied. “What do you expect me to think? You are the one who has been…. I don’t know… Flirting”

He swore long and hard. He knew she was right though. He had been flirting, because he still wanted her, but he never planned on making her do anything she didn’t want to. But her statements annoyed him so much. “What makes you think I would ever want to sample my brother’s secondhand goods anyway?” he said without thinking.

She balled her hands into fists and forced a careless reply. “Well, since your brother didn’t mind, I assumed it was a family trait.”

His dark eyes became even darker and his jaw twitched spasmodically. Then he spun around and disappeared into his bedroom, the sound of the door slamming reverberating throughout the house.

Savannah sighed and sank into a nearby armchair. That did not go well, she thought. She knew she shouldn’t have said that. What demon had forced her to throw more fuel on the flames she would never know. Like they didn’t have enough issues between them. The need to defend herself had long since fled. He should have believed in her then. She didn’t really care what he chose to do now. The desire for him to stand behind her and protect her had fizzled when she realized that she’d never had his love or his faith. The memories hurt too much.

God, what was she doing here? Just being with him again brought back too many memories she would be better off forgetting. And yet a part of her knew that she had agreed to come with him because she wanted to, and not because he made her. She didn’t want to admit that to herself though.

Restless and sick at heart, she made her way around the house, angry at herself and at him. When she returned to the living room, he showed up again.

He seemed calm. And she was calm, too-at least for now. It was time to get things out in the open. “Matt, we need to talk.” She said.

He looked surprised and a little wary over her change in tone, but he sat down across from her and regarded her with open curiosity. “Okay, talk.” he replied.

“I want to know why you came to find me… After a year. I really don’t understand why you did that after making it clear that you wanted me out of your life.” She was careful to keep her emotions in check as she waited for his response.

He didn’t look pleased with her question. He looked away, at the wall, his jaw tight.

“And how did you know where to find me?” she continued when he remained silent.

“I hired an investigator,” he said after a moment’s pause.

Her mouth fell open. So much for being calm.

“Why? So you could accuse me of being a whore all over again? So you could sweep in and upend my life? I don’t get it Matt. You hate me. I know what you think of me. You made it very clear when you threw me out of your life. Why the hell would you come back? Are looking to dig up the past again? I keep asking myself these questions over and over again”

“Damn it, Savvie!” he exploded. “You disappeared without a word to anyone. You didn’t cash the check. I thought you were out there hurt and scared-or dead.”

“Too bad for you I wasn’t.” She retorted.

“Don’t you make this about me,” he growled. It was obvious he had only a tenuous grip on his control. “You took what we had and threw it in my face. You decided I wasn’t enough for you. I looked for you because no matter what you had done or how badly I wanted to forget you, I couldn’t stand the thought of you being out there somewhere scared and alone.”

He broke off and looked away. When he looked back at her, his eyes were shuttered. “I’ve answered your questions, now I want mine answered.” he said.

They both glanced up at the sound of the front door opening and, to Savannah’s horror, Matt’s brother, Lorenzo, stood in the entryway.

“Hey Matt, I didn’t even know you were here….” he began. His voice died when he saw her. “Uh…hi, Savannah.”Nôvel(D)rama.Org's content.

Matt watched as Savannah’s expression became glacial. Damn it, she was going to think he planned this. And while yes, the three of them certainly needed to hash out a few things, now wasn’t the time. He rose from his seat and headed in his brother’s direction. Wow, Enzo really had bad timing.

After what happened between Savannah and Enzo, It had taken Matt months to see beyond his rage and jealousy to be able to entertain resuming a normal relationship with his younger brother. Before Matt hadn’t given a second thought to Enzo coming to his house and going at will. He had a key. Matt had always encouraged him to drop in and had looked forward to his visits. But that was before Enzo had slept with Savannah.

Before the two most important people in his life had betrayed him. When he finally talked himself around to forgiving Enzo and allowing him back into his life, he’d also considered that if he was willing to forgive his brother then perhaps he should also find Savannah and at least listen to her reasons why.

Things weren’t perfect between him and his brother now. Maybe they never would be. But they were better and Enzo had started coming around him more, even if he was more cautious than he’d ever been in the past.