Rush the Edge: A Brother’s Best Friend Hockey Romance (Blue Devils Hockey Book 3)

SIX YEARS PRIOR

Yesterday, I woke up with one secret.

Today, I woke up with another.

I lie in my best friend’s room, on the extra mattress given to me by his parents, and pretend to sleep. River thinks I’ve been here all night, but little does he know, I spent it in his sister’s room down the hall.

It was risky to go to her, but when my world is spinning out of control, who’s to blame me for needing a fucking lifeline?

Daisy Sullivan is the only person in my life who is able to look beyond the mask and know what I’m feeling, no matter how hard I deny it.

That time I got an F and was almost ineligible to play hockey my sophomore year? She knew it ate away at me and stayed up past her bedtime for a week straight to help me study through our bedroom windows. She’d write a problem on a dry-erase board and hold it up for me to solve it on my own. That was when I fell in love with her smile.

Then there was the time one of my ex-girlfriends cheated on me with some guy from the rival school. It stung—probably not for the reason everyone assumed—but Daisy, even as sweet as she is, accidentally tripped in the lunchroom with her orange soda and spilled it all over Abby’s head. All it took was one flick of my eyebrow in Daisy’s direction for her to grin like a little rebel and for me to slip a little further past the line that River drew between us.

She’s off-limits, forbidden for me to even think about like that.

Everyone, including her parents, considers me to be like another big brother to her. Daisy hasn’t needed a lot of rescuing over the last few years, but it isn’t just River’s responsibility to protect her from guys who only think with their dick or keep her out of wild parties where she doesn’t belong—it’s mine too.

The problem is that I’m not threatening guys or whisking her away from parties with too much booze for her sake…but instead for mine. It’s the only time I allow myself to be selfish when it comes to her. I trick myself into believing that I’m doing it for her sake.

What a fucking joke that is.

I peek an eye open as soon as I hear the shower turn on. There isn’t much time, but I fling the blankets off and head down the hall as quietly as possible. My heart drives against my chest with wild anticipation as I reach Daisy’s door.

I open it and slip inside.

Daisy sits up quickly, her pretty strawberry-blonde hair in a perfect mess. My entire body comes to life at the sight of her, heart and all. After having her beneath me last night, I see her in a completely different light.

She’s nothing but sweet with a line of freckles on the bridge of her nose and a summer glow against her cheeks, but last night she was sexier than I could have ever imagined. The quiet, hot noises she let out as I touched her where no guy ever has will be on replay in my head for the rest of my life.

I stand with my back against the door in nothing but the same sweats I pulled on after she’d fallen asleep in my arms. She’s wearing my t-shirt—something she’ll have to give back before anyone sees her wearing it.

“Morning.” I grin at her because I simply can’t help it.

The drama from the last couple of months with my mom and the court seems a little less heavy standing in Daisy’s room. I don’t know what last night meant to her, but all I know is that I don’t want it to be a one-time thing, even if I am leaving for one of the most competitive junior hockey leagues in a few hours.

“Hi,” Daisy squeaks as a blush spreads across her cheeks, and my stomach flips.

I take a few steps toward her, and she remains unmoving with her blanket pooled in her lap.

“How are you, uh…” I run a hand through my hair. “How are you feeling?”

She has to be sore, right?noveldrama

I know it’s normal for girls to bleed after their first time, but it still made me feel guilty.

Daisy shrugs shyly. “Good, I think.”

I glance at the clothes I peeled from her body last night, still in a heaping pile on her floor. “You sure?”

Her breathy laugh pulls my attention back to her, and she nods. Suddenly, she grows serious, the amused twinkle in her eye vanishing. “How are you feeling?”

She isn’t referring to what we did last night, because, obviously, I’m fucking fantastic with her taste still lingering on my tongue. No, she’s talking about my near panic attack from spilling the truth to her about Miles and how I shouldn’t have been the one stuck in a tiny room with detectives offering me deals to keep me from suffering behind bars.

I slowly take a seat on her bed and place my elbows on my knees. I stare at her bedroom floor. “I’m better.”

She breathes out a sigh of relief. “Good.”

I turn my attention toward her. “Because of you.”

She tries to brush me off with a shake of her head. “I didn’t do much. I just listened.”

I chuckle. “You did more than that. You somehow always know how to ground me.”

A soft smile curves on her face, and for the first time since being drafted to the juniors, I have reservations. It’s a competitive league, one where every single player is playing their best to be called up to the pros. We practice a shit ton and travel constantly. Where does she fit into all of that?

The parting of her lips scatters all my thoughts. “The distance will help,” she adds quietly. “Your mom will come around eventually, and hopefully Miles will remember that you nearly sacrificed your future for him, and it’ll keep him from making poor decisions.”

I snort. “I don’t know about that.”

“Well, then, I guess it’s a good thing you’ll be far away from here,” she jokes.

Our eyes catch. Panic surges through my veins, and I involuntarily grab onto her hand. “What if I don’t want to be far away from you?”

A worry line appears in between her eyebrows. “What?”

My heart starts to race. The pressure begins to cave in on me, just like it was last night before I came to Daisy. “What did last night mean to you?” I ask, desperate to know what she’s thinking.

Daisy’s blue eyes widen. There’s something deep within them that I can’t read. I give her hand a squeeze, but a moment later, she pulls hers away, leaving me with an open palm and a stomach full of worry.

“Kane…” Daisy bites her bottom lip. “Last night was…amazing. But…”

A nervous laugh tumbles from her mouth, and I take it as a warning to get as far away from her as possible. Call me a pessimist, but I know she’s going to stick a knife right in my heart.

I stand abruptly and peer down at her. I pull down a mask that even she can’t see through. “So, what? You just wanted to use me to take your virginity?” I ask with a bite to my tone. Hurt slips onto her features, but I ignore it to the best of my ability. “Just like my brother used me to take the fall for a crime I didn’t commit?”

Daisy gasps. “That is not fair, Kane.”

She shakes her head and throws the covers off her legs to stand in front of me. We’re a foot away as I tower over her smaller frame. My ears ring as she stares up at me.

“You’re leaving today,” she says.

I stay silent.

“And you’re…you.” She crosses her arms and lowers her voice. “Not to mention, River’s best friend.”

I furrow my eyebrows. “I’m…what?”

She huffs. “Are you really going to make me say it?”

I mimic her stance and cross my arms.

“Fine,” she snaps quietly. “You’re a player, Kane. You’ve been with tons of girls, and now you’re about to be halfway across the United States with so many of them throwing themselves at you. Last night was…” She glances away. “You know there is no future for us. You’re about to go do big things and achieve your goal—something you weren’t even sure you’d be able to do, considering the last few months. There’s nothing left here for you.”

Except you.

My hands shake with the need to grab her and kiss her or, better yet, punch a fucking wall. Her refusal slices away at the last bit of good in my life, and she’s right. There is nothing left here for me.

I reach forward and grab the hem of my t-shirt hanging loosely on her frame. I pull it up and over her head then bundle it in my hand with a firm grip. One last look is shared between us, and as much as it kills me, I turn angrily and stride out of her bedroom.

There’s a knot in my throat that makes it hard to swallow. My lungs scream for air, and my heart screams for her.

But after last night, I’ll never listen to that thing inside my chest ever again.