Chapter 170
“You can be there for Lim Toby with all your heart, why can’t you go back and be there for Ron, who will most likely have a shorter life than Lim Toby, and Ron is still the man you’ve loved for over a decade, and who has loved you for over a decade.”
“Stop saying that …” Cheng Lydia begged, shaking her head.
How could this happen? How could Shen Ron do the same?
At a time when she has made up her mind to stay by Lim Toby’s side, Shen Ron follows suit and gets sick.
The old lady still grabbed her hand and didn’t give up, “Lydia, it was my bad in the past, it was my fault, I didn’t care enough about you, I didn’t think Shen Belle was such a vicious woman. I was too confused to keep such a big poisonous snake in the house and let her have a chance to hurt you, Lydia, grandma apologizes to you, just forgive grandma …”
“Grandma.” Cheng Lydia interrupted the agitated old woman and shook her head, “I stopped blaming you a long time ago, and you haven’t treated me that badly, but I’m sorry, I really can’t go back with you.”
“Why?” The old woman stared at her in bewilderment.
“I’m done with him … but don’t worry, I’ll be there to see him.”
“That’s not the same!” The old lady exclaimed.
“It’s all I can do, don’t push me, Grandma.” Cheng Lydia also shed tears and said, “I’m hurting and sad about Ron’s illness, but I can’t go back to him because of it, because I already have Lim Toby.”
After sending the old lady away, Cheng Lydia sat alone in a chair with tears streaming down her face.
Shen Ron’s illness had cast a further shadow over her already grey heart. She knew her rejection was heartless and cold-blooded.
But there’s really no way she can leave Lim Toby behind to go back to him again.
“Go check on him.” Lim Toby’s voice sounded behind him.
Cheng Lydia was stunned for a moment, scrambled to run a hand down her face to remove the tears, and turned around with a light smile on her lips. To Lim Toby, she said, “Why are you out.”
Lim Toby smiled lightly at her painfully, “Don’t pretend, the tears are still on your face.”
Cheng Lydia’s tear ducts finally collapsed again and she fell into Lim Toby’s lap, whimpering lowly, her tone full of pain: “Why do all the people around me have to leave me one by one? Am I so unworthy of their love? Mom does, June does, Ron does, even you …”
Cheng Lydia couldn’t go on. Was this God’s punishment for her? If so, it was a little too heavy.
“Shen Ron he’s going to be fine, don’t worry.” Lim Toby soothed as he stroked her hair.
“The old lady said he could leave this world at any time …”
“It won’t, don’t worry.”
Shen Ron was admitted to the hospital again, and when Cheng Lydia walked in, he was asleep in his hospital bed with an IV in the back of his hand.
Seeing her enter, the old woman rose from her chair with delight, “It’s good you’re here, I’ll go back and rest.”
“Take care, Grandma.” Cheng Lydia smiled lightly at her.
“If you’re free, spend more time with him.” The old woman said to her.
Cheng Lydia nodded, how could she bear to refuse such a small request?
After the old lady left, Cheng Lydia went to Shen Ron’s hospital bed and sat down, surveying his handsome face as he slept. Because of his illness, he had less of his usual spiritedness and looked a bit haggard instead.
She just stayed at his heels until the needle drip was finished, then she got up and walked to the bathroom to wash her hands, then carefully removed the needle for him.
The moment the needle was plucked out of the vein, Shen Ron woke up and opened his eyes to see Cheng Lydia, who was holding the needle down with one hand and putting the syringe in the trash with the other.
He gazed at her and took her small hand into his palm with his backhand.
Cheng Lydia looked down, and then came into contact with his soft gaze, smiling slightly at him as she did, “You’re awake?”
Shen Ron nodded a little and surveyed her, “When did you get here?”
“I just got here a little while ago, so I didn’t disturb you when I saw you were asleep.” Cheng Lydia pulled her small hand out from between his palms and held down the needle on the back of his hand saying, “Don’t move yet or you’ll bleed.”
Shen Ron didn’t move again, allowing her to hold down the stitches on the back of his hand.© 2024 Nôv/el/Dram/a.Org.
“I remember when I was injured, I especially enjoyed the moments when you bandaged my wounds, you were careful, professional, and dressed them neatly.”
“Because I learned it.” Cheng Lydia swept the back of his hand, “That includes giving injections, which are mandatory to learn as a paramedic.”
“Do you also help Lim Toby with needles and plugs every day now?” He asked, looking at her.
Cheng Lydia avoided the loss in his eyes slightly and nodded, “Yes, he’s recuperating at home now, not going to the hospital, and I don’t have another paramedic since I happen to know how.”
“He’s so happy.” Shen Ron grinned.
Cheng Lydia shook his palm and smiled lightly, “Ron, don’t worry, the hospital will be able to find the right heart for you.”
“I’m not worried.” Shen Ron shook his head and smiled sadly, “One has come to this point in life where it doesn’t matter if one lives or not.”
“You don’t say that. …”
“I remember that time fifteen years ago when I slit my wrists, and it was just like now, it felt like the whole world was grey, without any semblance of the dept. light that attracts people to live.” He looked at her, “If I hadn’t met you back then, I would have been out of this world and I wouldn’t have put you and June through all that.”
“Shen Ron!” said Cheng Lydia, angrily shaking off their grip and leaping up from her chair, “You think I’ll come back to you just because you say that? Save your breath! I also regret why I saved you in the first place, why I fell in love with such a weak man like you, I should have known better than to let die at the lake!”
Shen Ron’s gaze grew red as he admitted that he was indeed weak, and if he hadn’t been weak, he wouldn’t have slit his wrists fifteen years ago. In fact he could withstand any blow and hurt, he just couldn’t bear to have his dearest and most beloved ones leave him.
Fifteen years ago it was the disappearance of his mother, fifteen years later it was the departure of his beloved.
“Lydia you know what? These days I always think that if time went back in time, I wouldn’t have gone abroad to study. If I hadn’t gone abroad in the first place, I wouldn’t have had the many trials and tribulations that followed, and I wouldn’t have even known that my beloved had been transferred.”
“Shen Ron you need to stop saying that.” Cheng Lydia stopped him.
Shen Ron shook his head, “If I don’t say it now, I may never have the chance to say it again. How many times will I see you again in the rest of my life?”
“You’ll be fine.”
“I know my own body myself. “Shen Ron smiled astringently and retook her small hand for her to sit down and surveyed her, “I’m not saying this because I want you to leave Lim Toby and come back to me, I just want you to know that I love you and always have. I was the one who didn’t protect you properly, I was the one who lost you and caused you to suffer so much. If there is an afterlife, I will meet you again and make up for what I owe you in this life along with what I owe you in this life and never let you get hurt in any way again.”
Cheng Lydia tilted her small face up, hardening the mist of tears in her eyes and forcing them back into her eyes, and when she looked down she was already annoyed, “Shen Ron can you stop talking about the afterlife all the time? Do you want to die that badly?”
“I haven’t loved well enough in my life, how could I possibly want to die?”
“Then get your act together!” Cheng Lydia held his hand, “Think of Grandma, think of Shen, if you leave, you’ll have to rely on Grandma alone to hold up such a big Shen. She’s already in her eighties, how many more years can she last? Even if she can last for ten or twenty years, what about twenty years from now? Twenty years from now, Shen will only go to the state or the top brass in the group who have been eyeing on Shen.”
“So, you must cheer up and be optimistic so you can get better faster.” Cheng Lydia stared at him in a serious manner.
“I know all that, and I don’t want to leave Grandma and Shen behind, but …” Shen Ron smiled, “But don’t worry, I’ll pull myself together and not give up a single hope of living.”
“It’s a deal.” Cheng Lydia struggled to squeeze out a smile.
Shen Ron nodded at her.
Coming out of Shen Ron’s hospital room, Cheng Lydia saw the old woman sitting in a chair by the doorway, dozing. She walked over and gently called out, “Grandma.”
The old woman woke up and saw that it was her and immediately got up from her chair.
“Grandma you sit down.” Cheng Lydia helped her and sat back in the chair with her.
“Where’s Ron? How’s it going?”
“He’s probably tired and just fell asleep.”
“Oh.” The old woman nodded.
“What did the doctor say, Grandma?”
The old lady sighed, “It’s getting worse, Ron was rushed to the hospital this morning in an emergency because he almost didn’t catch his breath, the doctor said he couldn’t leave the hospital anymore and a heart transplant has been out of reach.”
“So, he’s confined to the hospital for the rest of his life?”
“Yeah, well, to put it bluntly, you’re just waiting to die.”
“Grandma …” Cheng Lydia grabbed her hand sadly, “Ron won’t leave so easily.”
“Thanks.” The old woman patted her hand, “After all these days, I’ve slowly begun to accept the reality that Grandma endures.”