Pregnant For My Bully

Amelia Forbes

The video had been taken down. That I was certain of, because I’d personally gone on Leila’s vlog in search of it, but couldn’t find it. Coach Hens had kept his word, and for that I was grateful. And by the looks of it, it seemed like he was already enforcing the punishment he’d meted out to Jason. This morning, after I arrived at school, I spotted Jason leaving the coach’s office, a deep frown etched onto his face. He’d probably gone to beg so he didn’t have to write the letter but had been turned down.

Good for him. That’ll teach him.

Aside from spotting him earlier, I’d also had two classes with him today, Geometry and English, and all the while, there’d been no spitballs or chewed gum. Throughout the classes, he’d done nothing but sit crossed armed, staring at the teacher, obviously not comprehending a word from the look on his face.

What did Jason really think? That he could just do anything he liked to me and go scot free? That I was some sort of dumb kid who couldn’t stand up for herself once in a while? Well, jokes on him.

I was a hundred percent sure that I’d shocked him out of his wits yesterday with my reaction, and I’d do it again if I had to.

At the moment, classes had come to an end. The second the bell went off for the end of class, I grabbed my backpack, stuck my notebook under my arm and stood up, making my way out of the class even before Miss Danielle, our AP Biology teacher, could finish reading out homework.

I didn’t want to be caught up in the rush as students tried to cram and force their way through one small space, knowing the stigma of yesterday’s event still followed me around.

It hadn’t been all chill since I arrived at school. I still got odd stares, although a little bit less than yesterday’s, and I still occasionally heard people murmuring nasty things about me.

I tried to ignore them, after all, in due time my scandal will pass. Scandals always did. But deep down, I just couldn’t. The humiliation from yesterday was still hovering in my mind, drifting from one corner to the other, so much so that it’d made me feel uncomfortable while I was having lunch today. I felt like everyone was watching. Watching me eat. Watching my every move. Judging me. I knew I was only being paranoid, but I just couldn’t shrug off the feeling no matter how much I tried.

And I was going through all these solely because of Jason. The hate I had for him kept festering, burning brighter and brighter, and with every prank, every bully done to me, more fuel was added to fire.

I told myself one day I’d eventually snap, and yesterday, I did. But that was only a bit. If he kept up with the act, I didn’t know what next I’d do, but one thing was for sure. It was going to be drastic.

Getting to my locker, I quickly entered the combination, swung the door open and buried my face in the open space, not exactly in the mood to entertain any more weird glances.

I placed the notebook under my arm in the locker and emptied my backpack of unneeded texts before taking out my earpieces, then I shut my locker and turned to go, only to slam right into a sturdy chest borne by a six footer.

Stepping back at once, I looked up, a peculiar jolt in my heart at the thought that it might be Jason.

“I’m sorry I was standing in your way unannounced,” Adrian said, holding a hand to his chest where I’d bumped into him.

Releasing a sigh of relief, I shook my head. “No, I’m the sorry one. I didn’t see you there.”

“How are you feeling today?” He asked suddenly, throwing me off guard.

Apart from Benson, no-one else had cared to know. Bothered to ask how I felt after being used and victimized, but here was Adrian, concerned, non judgemental and sensitive, wanting to know about my wellbeing even after seeing the video.

I couldn’t admire him any less for being friends with an arrogant bully but still having such a wonderful personality.

“I’m fine,” I smiled mildly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Thank you.”

“That’s good to know. Look,” he sighed, touching a hand to his neck. “I just wanted to apologize on behalf of Jason. What he did was wrong, so wrong, I admit. And I’m sorry that he did that. Hell, I can’t even believe he did it, but Jason can be too much. Sometimes. I mean, he’s angry and stuff, although that doesn’t make it right to bully others, but, deep down, he’s really a nice guy. He just has to overcome all that anger. And hate.”

Sometimes? Jason can be too much sometimes? Jason was always too much! And I understood Adrian trying to paint Jason in a new, better light, after all they were friends, but Jason was well aware of his actions while carrying them out. No way in hell was I ever going to pity him for his unstable family situation or fall for him again, for his lies and deceit. Hell would freeze over before that ever happened.

“So, all I’m saying is, don’t take it too personal. Don’t hate him. He’s going through a hard time,” Adrian concluded.

“And I’m not?” I looked up at him. “Jason’s going through a hard time, and I’m not? Three years ago I lost my parents. Watched through the window of the hospital door as they struggled for their lives but eventually gave up. Watched them die, right before me, but you don’t see me venting my anger on anyone. Why does Jason get to have a pass? And why does it have to be me?”

“I heard about your parents,” Adrian said, after a short while of silence. “I mean it’s a kinda small town, so I did, and I’m sorry about what happened, but that wasn’t what I meant.”

Then what exactly did you mean?

In order not to drag the conversation too far, seeing as it was already pissing me off, because clearly, Adrian had no idea about the other stuff Jason had been doing to me, I said, “OK, I get you now. Thanks for your concern, once again, but I gotta be at the library.”

Turning away from him, I took a step towards leaving when he held my arm.

“Hey, wait a minute,” he said. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

I looked at him. “No. You didn’t.”

He dropped my arm then. “Sorry once again, about Jason.”

I offered him a brief smile. “It’s fine.”

And then I turned and left, heading down to the library to finish up my assignment before going home.

Just as I got to the base of the staircase, someone grabbed me roughly by the arm and yanked me to the side before shoving me into the janitor’s closet at the corner of the stairs, shutting the door behind him with a subtle click.

Scared out of my mind and unable to see in the dark room, I groped around for a couple of seconds, my lips trembling, until I found the light switch. Without hesitation, I flipped it on.

Right before me, standing with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, his face in a hard frown, was Jason.

My heart skipped not one but two beats, palms suddenly going sweaty.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

Yes, I was scared of Jason. I mean, it was one thing to stand up to him, and be ready to do it again, but to be in a confined space with him alone? With no one else around? It went without saying that I was frightened. His presence, especially when angry, which was almost always, was intimidating. It freaked the shit out of me.

I quickly covered up my fear, locking eyes with him and holding my head up high. It’ll only fuel his ego if he notices any sign of fear.

“What did you think?” He cocked an eyebrow, the shadow cast on his face by the single, overhead bulb giving his face a sinister look. “That you could punch me, humiliate me in front of not just my coach and mentor but my team too and get away with it?”

“You started it when you lied to me, got me drunk, made that video and posted it, thereby humiliating me too. So, I guess we’re even now,” I said in a steady, calm voice.

The next sound that came from him was a low rumble in his throat. Laughter. “We’re even? Oh, yes we are, actually. But I’m about to change that, Amelia. Just a few adjustments here and there.”

In a flash, he crossed over to me at the end of the room, grabbed the collar of my shirt and shoved me backward into the wall. My back hit the wall hard, sending a pounding sensation up my head. I winced at the sudden throb in my head.

As if pushing me was not enough, Jason reached out and held my jaw, so tight his fingernails dug into the skin of my face. I grabbed his hand, trying to push it off but his grip was strong.

“Let me go,” I said, my voice coming out muffled.

“You think you’re so badass now, huh?” He stared at me. “You think now you can stand up to me?”

Pushing my face to the side, he dropped his hand.

“Psyche! You’re not. You’re just a worthless piece of ugly trash,” he spat. “No one wants you, midget. No one ever would. Hell, even your own parents couldn’t stand you so they fucking died on you. Your grandma got so bored of your senseless babble she got deaf on you. And Adrian who you think is being nice to you actually just pities you.

“You’re pathetic, Amelia. Useless and unworthy of love. You don’t deserve any of it and that’s why all you ever get is hate, hate and more hate. Why do you think no one talks to you? Why do you think you have no friends? Fuck, don’t you get it? No one fucking cares to associate with someone as unlucky as you, so go jump off a bridge or something. Just put yourself out of your goddamn misery already. Save some of us the stress of having to see you every day.”

With every hateful word Jason spoke, every spiteful sentence he made, my resolve deflated, getting smaller and smaller until it was nothing but a speck. I recoiled into the wall, my hands to my ears, trying to ward off the voices telling me he was right. Adrian did only pitied me. Who was I to think he felt any other thing but pity for me. And he was right about my parents. I’m pretty sure mom got tired of the fights we always had.

“So, next time you go feeling important, do well to remember all I just told you,” Jason continued. “Just to recap them. You’re worthless, useless, pathetic and unwanted, Amelia. Always remember that. No one cares for you and no one ever will, especially now they’ve seen your true colors. You’re nothing but a slut. A hypocritical one at that.”

“Please, stop,” I whispered, tears already streaming down my cheeks. “Please.”

“Why, midget?” Jason sneered. “Can’t accept the fact that I’m right? That your daddy and mommy left you because they couldn’t stand you? That your parents are murderers who snatched my mom from me?”

Shutting my eyes tight, I tried to block out his words.

“Go away. Go away. Go away,” I muttered over and over, my hands pressing hard against my ears.

“That’ll teach you,” I heard Jason say, as he stepped back from me.

“Lower your hands,” he ordered.

For a minute, I did nothing of that sort, still shaken by his words, until he yelled, “I said, lower your fucking hands!”

A yelp escaping my lips, I did as he said.

“Now wipe your tears,” he said.

Slowly, I wiped away the tears on my face.

“Look at me.”

I did as he said.

“Good. Now that stupid move you pulled yesterday should never ever repeat itself again. Is that clear?”

I nodded, his words still echoing in my head.

I was worthless. Useless and dumb. And it was true. I really was all that and more. Or else I wouldn’t have fallen so easily for Jason’s prank.

“And you continue to do my homework everyday after school in the library, starting from when I resume practice. Speaking of practice, that apology letter, you’re gonna write yourself.”

On hearing his last statement, I looked at him.

“Yeah, you heard me. You’re going to write my apology letter and hand it to me by Thursday for proofreading. You got that?”

I didn’t know what to say. My mind was cold and numb.

“I’m sure you did. Oh, that’s right, you do know there’s a test coming up tomorrow. Physics, isn’t it?”

“Chemistry,” I muttered.

“Yeah, Chemistry. And what are you supposed to do?”

“Read for both of us.”

He smiled. “I’m glad you remember all these. It’d have cost you extra if I had to start listing them off once again. But there is one more added to the list. Stay the fuck away from Adrian. Give him negative vibes so he lays off. Did you get that, Amelia?”

I nodded, my eyes cast to my old shoes.

“Do I have to list them off for you again?”

“No,” I murmured.

“Good.” He tossed something at me. It hit my chest and fell at my feet.

Stooping, I picked it up. It was his homework.

“Bring that in first thing tomorrow morning. If I have to remind you, it won’t be an easy reminder.”

He stepped to the side then, leaning the path to the door open. “Believing you’ve heard all I said, you can get out. Leave.”

Holding his homework in my hand, my self esteem sitting alone in a dark corner, I trudged past him over to the door, grabbed its handle, twisted and pulled. Then I stepped out, back into the outside world full of people that didn’t give a damn if I lived or died.