Pregnant And Rejected

Chapter 83

Chapter 83 Guilt

Drake’s Pov

The last twenty-four hours have turned my life completely upside down. I’ve always been so self- assured, so confident in who l am. After all, I’m an Alpha how could I not be? I may not be the strongest Alpha on the continent or even the best leader, but I’ve never needed to be those things.

I’ve only ever needed to be a good leader for my pack, and I grew up knowing my place in the greater order. I may seem weak next to wolves like Bastien and Blaise Denizen, but they are not normal Alphas. Denizen’s reputation is nearly Godlike, and Bastien is well on his way to earning the same status.

I will never be able to compete at their level, but the fact remains I’m stronger than every last member of my pack, which numbers in the thousands. I’d wager I’m even stronger than the shifters in the Nova pack. I’ve seen Bastien’s Betas in battle often enough to estimate their skill it would be a close fight, but I’m relatively certain I would come out on top.

Certain, the same way I was certain I was in love with Selene. It’s not in my nature to doubt myself, and even though my wolf was never convinced about the beautiful Volana, I knew in my heart that she was meant for me.

Seeing Bastien’s mating mark on Selene made me furious, and when she and Lila were taken I was devastated but neither hit me as hard as learning Sophie was in danger. Just like that, everything I thought I knew disappeared. I’m only just beginning to acknowledge that I didn’t actually know myself before today, and concerningly, I’m starting to wonder if I truly know my pack.

I’ve never experienced fear like I did when Martin said Sophie would die. It was a savage and primal, a ruthless terror deep in my bones. My wolf went beserk at the words, and all at once I realized I was

never truly in love with Selene. Infatuated perhaps, besotted even, but now that I know what true love feels like, I see what a fool I was.

I always thought I would know my mate when I saw her, but I’ve heard stories about shifters who knew each other for years before the bond kicked in. Most of them were cases just like me and Sophie, wolves who grew up together and had their instincts muddled by childhood friendships.

Looking down at the beautiful little wolf now, I don’t know how I could have ever missed it. I haven’t felt the instinctive pull to claim her yet, but there’s no doubt in my mind that the connection will come in time. Even my wolf agrees. He incessantly begged me all night long to come see Sophie, but I couldn’t leave Selene and Lila until I knew they were alright.

I’m trying very hard not to look too smug and happy this has been a traumatic day and Sophie is absolutely beside herself with grief, guilt and anxiety but finding one’s mate is a big deal, especially when you already know they love you in return.

Sophie is looking anywhere but at me, her cheeks flushed bright red.

Has there ever been anyone so adorable?

Has anyone ever smelled so good? My wolf replies. It’s true, Sophie’s scent is a combination of everything I love: dark berries and vanilla bean, marsh flowers and fresh sea air.

It seems like Sophie is going to ignore my question. But then she looks up at me from beneath her long, dark lashes, her hazel eyes looking very green in their red rims. “You were going to tell me why Martin took Selene and Lila.”

Sneaky little wolf. That is absolutely not where we left off, and she knows it.

“Was I?” I arch my brow and Sophie’s flush spreads to her chest. “Well,” I begin, deciding to play along. “There was a bounty on Volana wolves a very large bounty. Martin wanted it.”

Her lovely face twists up in confusion. “Who placed the bounty?”

It’s a very long story and even I don’t know all the details.” I sigh. “The real bounty is being offered by Blaise Denizen, luckily Bastien set up a shadow system to intercept anyone trying to collect the reward.”

“So when Martin tried to turn them in…” She says, slowly piecing things together. NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.

“He called us.” I confirm, “And delivered them at our feet.”

“Thank the Goddess.” She breathes mournfully, clearly still beating herself up for her role in the ordeal “Why does the Calypso Alpha want them?”

“They won’t tell me.” No matter that I can hardly protect my pack members from threats when I don’t have all the information, but then again, I doubt Selene will be part of my pack much longer. It’s truly astonishing, a week ago that thought would have sent me reeling, now I just want her to be happy. I still don’t trust Bastien, but Selene clearly loves him.

“I do know that if they’re turned in, Denizen will kill them.” Sophie’s sweet flush disappears, the blood draining from her face. Damn, maybe I shouldn’t have been quite so honest. Apparently he’s been looking a very long time.”

“That’s horrible.” Sophie exclaims weakly. Visible gears are turning in her head, undoubtedly churning with unpleasant thoughts and memories. She clamps her eyes shut, as if she’s trying to hide from the feelings.

I don’t like this. I much preferred it when she was tying herself into knots over her feelings for me. “So, how did Martin convince you to help him.”

Her eyes snap open, and she begins taking on that same squirrely energy she had earlier. “That’s not important.”

“I disagree.” I press, “I think it must have been very important if you were willing to kidnap a pup.” I knew the words were a mistake as soon as they left my mouth. Wincing, I amend, I’m not judging you, little lamb. I just want to understand.”

Sophie wraps her arms protectively around her small body, unintentionally pressing her breasts together. I can see the plump mounds even through her hospital gown, and my mind takes a decidedly salacious turn. I’ve never thought about Sophie’s breasts before, let alone lusted for them I must have been blind.

Goddess, I’m drooling over a woman in a hospital bed. Is this going to be what it’s like? I ask my wolf. I’m going to be able to help wanting her even in the most inappropriate times?

Pretty much. He replies.

Groaning internally, I turn my attention back to Sophie’s face, where it belongs. She’s staring at her lap, “I can’t tell you.”

I can’t resist reaching out to her, running my hands through her luscious hair. “Why not?”

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” Sophie whispers, leaning into my touch even as she backs away from me emotionally. “I never deserved it in the first place, but if I tell you it will be over and I don’t want that.”

“Sophie, you’ve got to stop saying you don’t deserve nice things,” I command firmly, “you deserve to have everything you want in life, and if anything, I’m the one who’s undeserving.” I remind her, “How many years of pain did you suffer at Martin’s hands because I wasn’t paying attention?”

She purses her lips tightly, determined not to answer.

“Tell me.” I order, my voice rough and gravelly.

“That isn’t a fair question.” She says meekly. “It’s not like…” Again she teeters on the edge of revealing too much, catching herself just in time and redirecting. “I mean, we’re only friends protecting me isn’t your job.”

“I’m not just your friend, I’m your Alpha.” I rumble, “It absolutely is my job.” As much as I hate to see Sophie’s lip trembling, once again on the verge of tears, I don’t regret my harsh tone. She needs to accept this, she needs to know it wasn’t her fault. “And there is nothing you could ever say to me, that would make me forsake you.” I add for good measure. “Nothing.”

Sophie sniffles, her little red nose just begging to be kissed, but I restrain the impulse. A few tears escape her lashes, sliding down her temples and into her hair. They pool against my palm, and I fight the urge to brush them away. There will be plenty of time for kisses and cuddles later, now it is most important that she submit. “Do you understand me, Sophie?”

She nods shakily, but I’m not buying it. Sophie would agree to just about anything to put an end to this conversation. “Say it.”

“What?” She chirps in surprise.

“Say that none of this was your fault. Say you deserve the world. And say that you know I won’t ever turn my back on you, no matter what happens.” I instruct.

Sophie looks somewhat shell-shocked, and I want to kick myself over and over again. All this time my problem wasn’t only that! didn’t know myself, it’s that I didn’t know Sophie either. I knew only what she wanted me to see, I believed the masque she wore to cover up wounds still being inflicted.

“I’m getting impatient, little lamb.”

“N-none of this was my fault.” She repeats obediently. “I deserve…”

“The world.” I prompt.

“The world,” Sophie mimics, “And I know you won’t turn your back on me, no matter what.”

“Good girl,” I praise, kissing her forehead.

As much as I want to hear her tell me she’s in love with me; as much as I want to tell her the same and begin our lives together, I can see this isn’t the time.

This conversation has been evidence enough. Despite Sophie’s feelings, she’s clearly not ready to bring them into the open. Given everything I’ve learned today I don’t blame her.

She has to come to me in her own time, which means that I’m going to have to figure out how to be patient. I’m going to have to wait.

I just pray I won’t have to wait too long.