Was this the end?
DABBY:
“Oh, dear. You look so beautiful in this dress. So gorgeous,” Mum complimented as she adjusted the design on the red dress I was wearing, and I smiled brightly in delight as I looked through the mirror.
I looked so astounding more than I could have ever thought that I would look, which made Mum’s job for everything so commendable. She had taken more than an hour to style my hair to perfection, and another hour to make my face up.
Looking at myself over and over again in my new complete look, made me realize that I was looking more like my mother. The facial features were outlined to look like hers, and I was beginning to have the same accentuated body as hers.
“Who is your date?” She inquired to know.
“I don’t know. I’ve got quite a lot of asks to prom,” I told her truthfully. And I didn’t expect the numbers that increased before and after we finished our valedictory. More than I ever thought I’d ever get.
“You are like a mini-me. How can you be so pretty?” Mum commented with a pout as she adjusted my hair over and over again like something was wrong with it.
“I think I am really going to stand out,” I let out my words the exact way I felt in my heart, and it made Mum nod proudly with a smile.
“I am glad you are finally listening to me once again. Everything is going perfectly now that my daughter is back,” Mum stated as she walked back to my bed to unbox the heels we ordered from the box, which made me shake my head.
I swallowed saliva to lubricate my parched throat, and tried hard to calm down my heart which was hurting really badly. As much as I was trying to put my heart into prom, it was so hard to forget the fact that my heart was missing someone terribly.
‘How could I?’
“I’m doing what I want, Mother,” I reminded her and forced a smile as I looked at myself in the mirror, and tried to distract myself by trying to put on the silver necklace that was on my dresser.
“Let me,” Mum came to my rescue before I could even pick it up, and I just collected the heels from her to allow her to do whatever she wanted to do.
“I know that you are married to Damien’s dad because you agreed on something for the marriage,” I said to Mum slowly, feeling like that was the perfect time to let go of my grudge and talk things out.
“Dabby………”
“You don’t have to feel pressured to talk to me about it. I just wanted you to know that this marriage arrangement was a really hard thing for me. It was really hard. Harder than you know and can ever know,” I spoke to her truthfully without making an issue out of it, while trying to not be emotional about it too.
Thinking about everything had really been so hard for me, that I wanted to cry so hard and ruin my makeup on the spot. Their decision to get married because of whatever reasons were the reasons why I became so miserable, and also the time that I got my happiest moment in high school with an unexpected person.
Then everything just had to come to an end abruptly because of their decision too, which was hurting me in the hardest way that I have been sad. It was leaving a hike in my heart that I had not filled, and would be hard to do by the time we were done with everyone. Divorce meant ending everything.
“I am sorry for hurting you, Dabby. I really am…….”
“You don’t have to apologize, Mum, because it really is not going to do anything. I am so sad and pained to the extent that it is hard for me to breathe every time I think of it. I’m struggling so much, and I am trying hard not to cry right now,” I forced a smile as I looked into the mirror with my heavy heart that arched so badly.
A tear rolled down from my right eye at that moment, which I stopped immediately with my hand. I didn’t want her to say anything at all and just listen to me, which she understood.
“So do we leave after these? Or do the remaining funds have to be gotten first?” I diverted the topic to an entirely different one from what I was saying before, because I didn’t want to talk deeply about what I was feeling even if I just wanted her to know. It hurt me to know that my feelings had never been an option even if she was not doing it intentionally.
“Do you know his grumpy old father is a nice man? He even sent me bills as bride price for marrying his son through courier. He put a note in and said: For showing Spencer that not every woman is weak,” Mum narrated to me, and I turned back in surprise.
“Really? Damien’s grandma must have enjoyed a really good life with him,” I speculated with a smile, and turned away from the mirror to put my heels on ignoring the fact that she didn’t answer my question immediately. She probably had no idea either.
Bending my waist to wear my heels on the spot, made me remember the encounter that I had with Damien two days before, and how hard I struggled to accept the truth that was slapping hard on my face. It was so hard.
We met at the front of the house in the night and he seemed drunk when he entered, which made me wonder what had gone wrong with him when he entered through the gate in a staggering manner.
“What’s wrong with you? Where are you coming from?” I asked him as I held him quickly as he walked close to where I was standing, with a really gloomy expression on his face like something crazy was wrong.
It took me extra effort to hold him still before he fell, and even more to take him into the house as well as up the stairs. Pushing the door to his room open, I managed to get him to his bed before I collapsed with him too.
After I heaved a sigh of relief and tried to stand up, a hand pulled me back to the bed and wrapped around me immediately as it hugged me close too.
The good memories we had shared came flooding my heart instantly, and my legs were trapped by its feelings that made me unable to stand up. I just remained there inhaling the smell of him.
I turned to face him with his eyes which were tightly shut, and it made my belly weak because I had not been so close to him like that in so long.
It made me want to do things to his body and have him touch mine, even if he had made it clear that he didn’t want us together again.
“Why is this so hard, Damien?” I asked in a very low whisper as I faced him, and I froze when I heard a reply that I didn’t expect.Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.
“It really is. I can’t do this,” Damien responded to my question with his eyes still shut.
I stood up from his side minutes later when I realized that he was fast asleep already, and kissed him on the cheek before turning to leave the room finally.
He apologized through text the next day for acting irrationally when he already drew the line, and when I tried calling back his number it became unreachable the same way it had always been. The same pain too.
‘Was that how we were going to be till the very end?’