My Hockey Alpha

Chapter 0477

Nina

The three minutes that we had to wait for the test results felt like an eternity, each second somehow stretching longer than the last one. The air in the bathroom seemed to grow heavier with the weight of my thoughts as my mind whirled with possibilities.

This tiny stick on the bathroom counter had the potential to change our lives in an instant, to rewrite all the plans we had or didn't have. If I was pregnant, would we keep the baby, or would it be best to get an abortion? And if we did somehow decide to keep the baby after all, what would become of our dreams? What would happen to Enzo's coaching career? What would happen to medical school for me?

As I waited, my heartbeat thudded in my ears like a distant drum, and my fingers fidgeted restlessly with the hem of my shirt.

Enzo stood beside me, his hand as warm and steady as ever on my shoulder. I could feel the tension radiating off him, too, but his eyes held a certain calm when they met mine. A calm I sorely needed but couldn't find within myself.

Finally, the timer on my phone chirped, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts. I took a deep, shaky breath before leaning over to read the results on the test.

Negative.

A wave of relief washed over me, so strong it nearly knocked me off balance. I felt Enzo's grip on my shoulder tighten for a moment before he relaxed, clearly sharing in my sense of relief.

*Negative," he whispered, pulling me into a hug.

I nodded into his chest. My body felt at ease now, and yet, at the same time, I also couldn't deny the sense of... disappointment?

Enzo, almost as though sensing my emotions, shot me a glance. "You okay, love?"

I shrugged and nodded at the same time, a gesture of uncertainty. "... I think so," I murmured, although I couldn't quite deny the fact that there was a tinge of sadness in my voice.

Enzo gave me a soft smile and ran his thumb along my cheek. "Don't worry, Nina. We'll get to have our family someday. Maybe it's for the best if it doesn't happen right now, though."

As his arms encircled me, I felt safe. Secure. Loved. Relieved. And yet, a small but significant part of me couldn't ignore that faint feeling of disappointment that still lingered in the back of my mind.

Somewhere deep inside, even though I hadn't admitted it even to myself, I had let myself believe that I was pregnant, let myself imagine what it might be like to be a mother, to create a family with Enzo. The very thought of it had scared me beyond belief, but it had also filled me with a sense of wonder, and that sense of wonder felt crushed now.

"You're right," I said, my voice filled with an emotion that even I couldn't quite place as I hugged him back. But was he right? Were we okay? Were we making the right choices? Questions filled my mind, each unanswered, leaving a void that was becoming increasingly hard to ignore.

We broke the hug, and I looked up into his eyes. As always, they were open and loving, but I could see his own struggle mirrored there in their brown depths.

He had been willing to embrace whatever outcome awaited us, willing to face it head-on like he did with everything in his life. There was a willingness to jump into the deep end, even if we had no idea how to swim. And maybe that was what both thrilled and terrified me. The thought of having a baby with him had filled me with an unexpected sense of excitement.

"God," I said with a chuckle, turning so I could surreptitiously blink away the tears that were threatening to come." I can't believe I'm saying this, but I was sort of hoping..."

Enzo stopped me before I could finish by placing a hand on my shoulder. "Don't think about it too much, Nina," he said gently. "We'll have a family someday, as big or small as you want. It's just not meant to be right now. And that's okay."

I nodded in response to Enzo's words. He was right; it wasn't meant to be. Not right now, at least. And it was likely for the best, not only because of the fact that our lives were on the precipice of change, but also because of something else.

Something that I hadn't dealt with yet. Something that came to me in the form of shadowy figures, beckoning for me to leap to my death.

Just then, Enzo's phone buzzed from the bathroom counter and pulled both of us back to reality. He glanced at it and then back at me, a silent question in his eyes.NôvelDrama.Org holds © this.

"It's okay, go ahead," I said, offering him a terse smile.

He picked up the phone and read the message, his brow furrowing slightly before he typed a quick reply.

Work, no doubt. Or maybe it was one of his many commitments around town, another reminder of the busy, chaotic lives we led. Lives that, according to that small stick on the bathroom counter, were not yet ready to accommodate another human being. That moment alone was enough to make me realize that I had nothing to be sad about right now; that it simply wasn't the right time.

But as I stood there, enveloped in Enzo's warm and strong arms, staring at our reflections in the bathroom mirror, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. Or maybe it would have been more accurate to say... that something was waiting. Waiting for the right moment, like it was teetering on the edge of a cliff, I wouldn't explain it, but something felt... off. Like I wasn't alone.

But when I glanced around the bathroom, the shadow figure that had plagued my life over the past months was nowhere to be found, and I was only met with the cool gleam of the blue tiles.

The test was negative, but everything else the fear, the relief, the unexpected yearning-was a resounding positive. And it left me feeling disoriented, like I was lost in a sea of conflicting emotions.

"We'll get through this, whatever comes our way," Enzo said, his words echoing his earlier reassurance, though this time, they landed a little differently in my ears. His voice drew me back to reality.

"We will," I echoed.

For a moment, Enzo was silent before his look of concern morphed into one of love, affection, and maybe even a little mischief.

"Now then," he said, wrapping his strong arms around me and pressing his lips to mine. "What did I say earlier?" I furrowed my brow, thinking for a few moments before coming up blank. "I don't know. What- Enzo grinned and took my hand, leading me out of the stifling bathroom and into the bedroom. It suddenly struck me; a promise of a peaceful day together, just the two of us, enjoying our time together before he would eventually need to leave for six months.

*I made a promise," he said, releasing his grip on my hand. "Let's go out. Just you and me."