Chapter 63 The Cost Of Sacrifice
Chapter 63 The Cost Of Sacrifice
Flashback Continues:
Jacob
Her words resonated strangely within the confines of those bygone walls, walls that Evelyn had painstakingly mended. Regrets, it seemed, were remarkably easy to cling to, weren't they? Especially when you begin to lose those things most dear to you.
"It might appear that she has it all with you now, Jacob," Danica began, her voice tinged with a note of caution, "but mark my words, regrets will come knocking. She's young, caught in the whirlwind of her emotions. In time, when reason takes hold, when she begins to depend on her mind rather than her impulses, she'll realize what she's missing. And, Jacob, I'm sorry to say this, but why would you want her to bear the burdens that haunt your life? Your crazy ex is a constant headache, always after you, showing up everywhere you go, your uncles still hound you for money, you still haven't recovered from those incidents in your youth, and your scars...they still run deep, perhaps too deep to ever heal. Why, then, would you wish Evelyn to grapple with it all if you truly love her? Nobody wants to put the one they love through shit!"
Damn, I'd always known Danica had a way with words, but I never expected it to be this intense. If not for today, I'd never known that Samuel was right when he said it.
"What exactly are you trying to say, Danica?" I cleared my throat, a disquieting unease seeping into the room, much like venomous spiders crawling up the walls.
"You're not naive, Jacob. I'm certain of that, especially since you managed to keep your relationship with Evelyn hidden right under our noses all this time," she continued. "Here's the deal: I don't want my daughter fixing someone else's mess. I want her to be with someone stable, someone who's not broken - that's the plain truth. She deserves someone who can look after her, someone who won't overreact or underreact, someone who won't misspeak, and most importantly, someone who won't burden her with the weight of his own traumas."
She had a point...
My life had been a tangled mess before Evelyn came into it, everything was in its way but not the way I wished, and her presence had brought order to the chaos. But was it fair to rely on her for that emotional security? There was no guarantee that I wouldn't end up failing to provide what she truly needed.
"I... I've never once allowed the past events of my life to affect my relationship with Evelyn," I spoke, my voice strained. "Not everyone has the privilege of growing up in a wealthy, loving family like yours, Danica. It wasn't my fault that I was born into a fucked-up family that wasn't even a family to be fair. My mother was worn out before she eventually passed away, and my father's alcoholism shattered my entire childhood. I had no control over any of it—if I had, I would have stopped it. But that doesn't mean I lack control over what I want in life now or that I can't take care of the people I love. I didn't choose to go through those things, believe me, no one wishes for that."Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g
She let out a sigh, her expression unyielding, though I could sense traces of hesitation.
"It doesn't matter," she replied firmly. "What matters is that the scars those events have left on you will inevitably affect my daughter, whether you intend it or not. You can't control these things; they just happen. Evelyn can find someone far better, someone who would be perfect for her. This relationship between you and Evelyn, won't bring good to anyone-not to you, not to her, not to anyone around you. You might lose just a friend, but Evelyn could lose a father who loves her more than life itself," she added, her tone unyielding. "It's not just about you; it's about her."
"And you believe that by ending things between me and Evelyn, you're doing the right thing?" I retorted. "I don't care about myself, Danica, but damn it, she'll be fucking devastated. You haven't seen it, but I have. She won't be able to handle it without me."
I should refuse this, shouldn't I?
"Her life was perfect before you entered it, Jacob. Everything was going well, and I'm sure her life will continue just fine without you- I will make sure of it. Her heart is young; she'll eventually move on if you break it, rather than making it seem like someone else forced you two apart. It's that simple."
"And that someone is you," A sardonic chuckle escaped my lips as I fixed my gaze on the distant moon.
Everything bore scars, and every individual harbored imperfections, but did that mean they didn't deserve love or the chance to be with the one they loved? What was wrong with loving someone, even if you carried your own scars?
"Yes, it's me," She conceded. "But isn't it better if she hurts now rather than later? Yes, she'll be heartbroken, she'll cry and go through pain, but it's far better than harboring regrets down the line, grappling with doubts and unanswered questions that would shatter her completely. If she continues down this path, she'll come to regret it. She loves her father, she loves her family, and that's all she's ever wanted. You alone won't be enough for her, Jacob. Her father is her world, he always has been. If this relationship with you takes that away from her, she'll crumble. So, it's better to lose something now that might cause her regret later than to lose something she holds dear."
"You understand what you're asking for, right?"
Danica remained silent for a few moments before sighing. "Yes, I do. I'm fully aware of the damage it might cause. But at least this way, she'll have a chance at a better future. She'll eventually move on. And in this way, at least, everything will seem alright, even if it's not. I won't say anything to Samuel, so you shouldn't either. Let things remain as they are, and let this conversation between us today stay hidden."
I just couldn't believe she was asking me to do that to Evelyn....
"You're asking me to break your daughter's heart, Danica," I spoke up, as if she already didn't know what she was asking for. She knew. She knew it very well.
And I fucking wished I could have pleaded with her to take her words back and allow me to be with Evelyn. But, the truth was, her words had stirred something deep within me awakening emotions I couldn't easily dismiss- she had hit some spots that'd rendered me speechless. I couldn't find any words to counter her argument or justify my desire to be with the person I loved.
Did people with troubled pasts not deserve the right to pursue a healthy relationship? Maybe not.
I'd thought I'd moved past that but it seemed like everyone else still saw me stuck there.
Just because someone had
wronged me in the past, did that
mean I'd end up screwing up every
good thing in my life? I had
tried my best not to let it, and up until now, I believed I had succeeded. But today, as Danica uttered those words, it felt like nothing had changed since those dark days, those moments spent in the shadows, those times when
Chloe had used my traumas against me like a deranged psychopath.
I had convinced myself that I had moved past it all, but it appeared that everyone else still saw me as stuck in that place.
"Yes, I am. And if you truly love her, Jacob, you'll do it," Danica said. It was astonishing how she believed that damage could somehow prevent damage, but at the same time, the reasons she offered left me with no room to refuse.
"Samuel used to say that, didn't he,
Danica? You never lose an
argument," managed a bitter chuckle, Fine! I'll do it. I'll break Evelyn's heart, I will fucking break it and toss it away as it means nothing to me but... I hope you know how to mend it afterward because I... I certainly don't."
With that, I walked away, making a decision I had never even contemplated, not even in my darkest nightmares.
Flashback Ends...
I sank onto the edge of the bed, my strength utterly drained. How could I have said those things to her? I could have been more gentle, couldn't I? But gentleness wouldn't have achieved the damage Danica had asked for.
Fuck it, I was losing my mind.
I had just lost Evelyn. Today, I had lost her.
I knew she'd never forgive me, perhaps even despise me more than she'd ever loved me. It was only natural for her to take steps to move on. Why would she want to remain stuck for a man who confessed to using her to forget his damn ex?
This was what I wanted, right? I wanted her to hate me and move on. So why did it gnaw at me so fiercely? I had convinced myself last night that Evelyn and I weren't meant to be together, so why were these doubts and questions ringing so loudly in my head, forcing me to reconsider?
It simply bothered me to think that Evelyn would forget me and love someone else.
But then again, wasn't that why I had started all of this in the first place? I was already broken... I couldn't drag her down with me. I couldn't. Before my thoughts could spiral further, the sound of approaching footsteps caught my attention. I glanced at the doorway, finding Chloe walking back into the room.
"So, I heard about your breakup excuse with Evelyn," she said, crossing her arms over her chest, a sly smirk tugging at her lips. "Perhaps you could accept my help for this little mission of yours? We can see if we can become more than just a charade in front of people."
We weren't going to be anything more than what we were now-strangers with bitter memories. But I wasn't going to refuse her offer, not if it meant cutting the last few remaining ties with Evelyn, replacing the remnants of love in her heart with loathing.