Chapter 18
Chapter 18
It’s the next day of school, and I’m having trouble breathing. I’m even more nervous about seeing Adam today than I was yesterday. Would he act as nothing happened between us just like the last time, or would he do the opposite today? That’s the thing about Adam; he was unpredictable; it was like meeting a new person every time that I saw him, with the same nerve-wracking feelings, of course.
The moment I start to walk through the halls, my heart rate increases with each step that I take. I know that I’m not prepared to see him today; I’m not prepared for anything at all. I want to be stronger, I do, but my heart and mind have been taking the lead lately. It’s too caught up in a series of emotions that seems to be only growing stronger the more time that I spend with him.
I turn the corner, unsure what it has in store for me, but what I see next drags all of the air
out of my lungs.
I take a moment to take in the scene some more, but it does nothing to calm the pounding
in my chest.
Adam is leaning against his locker, but he is not alone; Lizzie is in front of him.
She has her hands on his chest, and she’s staring into his eyes. I feel an instant drop in my heartbeat from seeing them in such a romantic position. I don’t know what I was expecting from him today, but this was the last thing on my mind.
I’m both hurt and angry that they’re doing this in front of me. I know it isn’t intentional but
someone please tell that to my stupid heart.
I know that what happened between us yesterday was only him trying to help me but still, I didn’t expect to walk in here today and see both of them so close. I’ve overheard a few girls talking, and from what I heard, they didn’t get back together. But this ongoing display of
affection said otherwise. Did the girls not get enough information, or were they saying that
because they hated the thought of Adam having someone else?
He isn’t looking my way, and even though his intense gaze usually sends me into a whirlpool of emotions, I feel a sense of emptiness now that I don’t have it.
What was wrong with me? I’d just gone through a nasty breakup and lost the two most influential people in my life. And now I was pining over a guy I shouldn’t even be thinking about. A guy that my parents would punish me for even looking his way.
Maybe my body enjoyed being hurt; that had to be it. Why else would I develop any feelings for Adam, who has never once shown interest in me? I should be focusing on myself Bryan.
Maybe Bryan wasn’t the only one in our relationship that was not completely happy. I did not realize it until now, but my feelings for him must have been very dull; I didn’t have anything
to compare it to back then. Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.
Now that I saw what real passion felt like, I know what I had been missing. Was that why Bryan chose to cheat? We didn’t have that passion in our relationship. It doesn’t excuse what he’d done, but now I was happy that we were no longer together. I was allowed to feel
something that I never thought possible.
In fact, if I had remained with Bryan, I would have never known feelings like this existed. But the truth was that it only lived because of Adam. I would not feel this way for anyone else; I knew that much.
But that was a big issue since he looked as though he was still in love with his
ex-girlfriend.
I turn and try to keep the disappointment from my face as I head towards the classroom. I open the door and step inside. Abigail looks up when she hears the door and a bright smile forms on her face. It’s nice to see that at least one person is happy to see me today. It’s not like it’s her first time seeing me in the morning, however. I did sleepover by her last night.
“You look down,” Abigail comments the moment I take a seat next to her.
I shrug my shoulders, “I don’t want to talk about it.” I mumble.
Her gaze moves to the doorway, and I know without looking up that Adam had just entered
with Lizzie.
“You need not say more,” she says with a sigh. Though I haven’t confessed all of my
feelings to Abigail, my facial expressions must give it all away.
“Good morning, class,” Miss Stevens says. “We are now only a few days away from the fire fairy festival. Who’s excited?”
Just like always, the room is filled with cheers at her question. I don’t even know why | waste my time attending that festival every year. But if I asked my parents to sit this one out, they would go all crazy on me.
“Every year, you’ve seen your seniors be tested, and this year it’s finally your turn. Every fire whisperer in this room will have a chance to find out if the power has been within you all along.” She chimes happily.
The class begins to laugh at the sudden addition to her earlier statement. Of course they would laugh; everyone enjoyed seeing me in pain.
Why did I think that they would even consider testing me? Not that I wanted to be tested, even I didn’t think that it was possible for someone that didn’t know how to create fire to be the
flaming whisperer.
But still, they should include me. I’m not an outcast, I’m still a princess, and I’m still someone that tries very hard. So what if I can’t create fire? Does that mean that it’s okay for others to treat me like I’m nothing? I don’t believe that it’s my fault that my body refuses to
obey every lesson I’ve been taught the past few years.
I want to get up and speak out, to tell them all that they’re pathetic and disrespectful for making me feel like I’m less than them just because of my inability to create fire. I want them to know that one day I’m sure that I will be able to do it, and they will all see for themselves.
There is so much that I want to say to them, but like always, I keep my mouth shut. It’s how I’ve been taught to behave, not respond to the hate, not encourage arguments, let others
speak and listen, do not interfere when adults are talking. These are just some of the things my
parents have taught me. I’ve been like this all my life. It’s hard to break out of something that
you’ve been taught your entire life.
Only the few that had strict parents like my own would understand what I felt; everyone else would continue to look down on me.
For the rest of the class, I keep quiet, bottled up in my thoughts. I had so many things on my mind. I didn’t try to look Adam’s way again either, too afraid of the hurt I would feel while seeing him with her.
I breathe a sigh of relief when the sound of the bell signals the end of class. Abigail and I
rush to the cafeteria for some snacks.
As if I wasn’t already having a bad day, Aria chooses today to confront me once more.
I was beginning to realize that they weren’t ever going to leave me alone. “Can I talk to you?” she asks.
“If I say no, would that stop you from talking?” I ask sarcastically.
Her eyes widen, and I know that she must be in shock from how I’m speaking; I’ve never
been that way before.
“Bryan told me some disturbing information.” She says.
I’m sure that it’s something I don’t need to listen to, but I know that she won’t leave me
alone until she says what she has to.
“Is it true that Adam invited you to movie night. .. And were you crazy enough to go?”