3-2
CLAIRE
We regret to inform you that your application to Bourton University has been declined.
I lowered my head, lips pressed tight. I deleted the rejection email and tucked my blinking flip phone into my purse. Well, that was the end of my ambition to attend college in Boston. Every school I’d applied to denied my transfer request, and there was no way in hell I was going back to Colorado, so I had nowhere to go in the fall.
My heart shrank. The late spring sun beat on my neck as I knelt, filling a planter box with potting soil. I planted the tomatoes and watered until the dirt darkened. Clutching my garden shears, I pruned off the suckers from another plant and added them to the compost pile. I put the tool aside and smiled at the boxes bursting with sweet peas, the butter-yellow daffodils bending with the balmy breeze, and cupped the head of a pink tulip.
“How are you feeling?” I whispered into the soft petals. “Do you like it here?”
I patted the tulip like a golden retriever and moved on to the next swaying bulb, again whispering to it. I wasn’t crazy. It’s just that people sucked and plants never talked back, so I spent a lot of time in gardens. They were my happy place. I loved the colors. The earthy scents. Digging into the earth with my bare hands. Ever since I was a kid, connecting with nature calmed me. I used to hide in the forest whenever my parents argued. The leaves, the trees, the crawling life embraced me like a mother’s arms. And I would feel safe.
My phone pinged.
My pulse raced at the hair-raising sound. I ripped off one glove. Then I turned off my cell and stuffed it deeper inside my purse. I inhaled in and out slowly, but it was no use. Cold invaded my being, drowning the day’s warmth. Everybody knows. The invisible fist around my throat squeezed. You will never escape it.
I needed air. My lungs burned. I couldn’t take this. I had to breathe. With every ragged inhale, my heart beat as though on the verge of explosion. My hand dove into my purse. Where was my Xanax?
Two women burst into the garden, laughing. I removed the other glove and tucked both in the Rubbermaid bin, heading into the adjoining church. I collapsed in a pew.
A blissful harp melody played as a soprano note rang out, singing the first bar of “Ave Maria.” It halted the stream of self-hatred within me. I wiped my face as the choir joined the soloist. I closed my eyes, ignoring the pains in my body as their voices soared. Gradually, the choking sensation lessened. My thoughts floated away from me as the music seemed to enter my being, filling it with warmth.
My concentration wavered with the sound of a person-likely a man-sitting with a heavy thud into the pew behind me. It creaked as he leaned into my section. My flesh prickled with an intimate touch-his finger grazing my neck.
“Little Starling,” a deep and sensual voice whispered, and I burned despite the morning chill clinging to my limbs. “Volunteering on your day off, eh? Don’t you get tired of being perfect?”
“Don’t you have better pickup lines?”
“Ouch. I thought that one was pretty good.” Wood groaned as his weight shifted, his body so close to me that I shook with an involuntary tremble. “You’re avoiding me.”
“I’m not.”
“Then why don’t you answer my texts?”
I swallowed. “I-I don’t like looking at my phone.”
“You mean that primitive thing that flips open? You’re the only person I know that doesn’t own a smartphone. I can’t decide whether that makes you a savant or a hippie.”
“Why not both?”
His purr caressed every muscle and nerve. “You’re playing hard to get. It’s endearing.”
I turned around, my heart hammering.
A gorgeous man sprawled on the pew, his dark curls sparking like auburn fire in the sunlight. He had a broad, chiseled face, with a full mouth that curled with laughter. He was pale, clean shaven, the slight dusting of stubble like a delicate shadow along his jaw. His thick, muscled forearms with their light dusting of hair were covered with a blue long-sleeved shirt. He had an athletic build, which I’d discovered in a racy photo of him stepping out of the shower.
I’d met Cainan at a fundraiser a couple weeks ago. I was working at the clean-air initiative booth when the hottest guy I’d ever seen approached me. We chatted for a solid twenty minutes before I learned he was the co-sponsor of the event. And it took even longer for me to get that this beautiful, rich, accomplished man was hitting on me. Why? I thought for the millionth time since we’d exchanged numbers. What does he want with me?
He’d been clear that all he desired was my company. He was always texting me. Calling me. Sending me thirst traps. Turning me on with sultry voicemails. Making plans for more dates. When he wasn’t blowing up my phone, he sent me thoughtful gifts accompanied with notes that made me melt.
I was infatuated with him. Around him, I couldn’t control the butterflies. They zoomed and bounced off the walls of my stomach, filling me with a joy that deepened whenever I looked at his face. Coming across his name on my notifications was enough to make me blush. It’d been months since I felt that way about a man, which is why I kept him at arm’s length. He was perfect. But I couldn’t trust men.
Heat raised in my cheeks at the idea of confessing that. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.”
“So you are stalking me.”
He was still smiling, a predator sizing up his prey. “You told me you’d be here this afternoon.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess I did…” I trailed off, not trusting my pounding heart. I had to go before he said another nice thing and suckered me into going home with him.
His finger traced my neck, brushing my collarbone. “I wanted to invite you to a late lunch.”
“I already ate,” I lied.
He leaned in, his eyes glittering. “Dinner, then.”
I said nothing, retreating further as his imperious presence seemed to fill the whole row. When I didn’t answer, he chuckled.
“I don’t mean to be standoffish,” I murmured. “I like you…I do, but I have to take things slow.”
The playful grin slipped, and his brow furrowed. Cainan took my shoulder, his thumb landing perfectly on a tense knot. “Of course. I understand.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to, but-”
“You need to feel safe,” he finished.
I nodded, my throat too tight to respond. I’d made no secret of my trust issues-don’t trust people to have your back, because they don’t. Living by that mantra kept me safe, but it sure as hell didn’t bring me joy.
My pulse rocketed as he squeezed. The massage started innocently enough, his touch riding the tension until I slackened against the pew. Then he drifted across the loosened muscle, his fingers playing with the sensitive skin as I grew lightheaded from his flattering attention. If it weren’t for my seat, I could’ve fallen back into his chest.
“Follow me.”
Cainan’s perfect mouth pressed into my ear before he released me, my face blazing. I slid down the pew and he followed, exiting with me. Cainan looped his arm with mine, his broad smile warming up my body even more than the kiss. He led me away from the angelic voices. He pulled me in a private alcove. Then his hands fell from me and his eyes crinkled with the faintest marks of worry. “So what’s got you all worked up?”
I barely knew Cainan, and he could read my damned mind. “Why does anything have to be wrong?”
“I know a guilty look when I see one. What did you do? Accidentally throw a plastic cup in the garbage?”
I laughed. “Silly man. I’d never be caught dead with a single-use plastic cup.”
His eyes twinkled. “My mistake.”
I sighed heavily. “I dropped out of college after nearly flunking out of freshman year. I feel horrible because I wasted a year’s worth of tuition. And I got rejected from Bourton, which is where I wanted to transfer.”
His arm glided over my shoulders and anchored me to his chest. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something?”
I shrugged. “I was embarrassed.”
“Are you looking for a shoulder to cry on or vengeance?”
I smiled. “Vengeance, of course.”
“You give me the names and I’ll get to work.”
“Can you take out the entire admissions board?”
“Possibly. But there’s still an appeal.” He stroked my cheek with a finger, his voice burning with mischief. “I know someone who can help.”
“No,” I said, my tongue thick and heavy. “That’s okay. I’m not sure I’m ready to go back to school.”
“Claire, it’s no trouble at all.”
“You’re so sweet. But it’ll be a waste,” I whispered, sliding a hand around his body. God, he felt so good. “I-I have no clue what I want anymore. I was thinking of taking the year off. Is that stupid?”
“No, that’s a great idea.”
“Really?”Belonging to NôvelDrama.Org.
“If I was in your position, I wouldn’t rush into school so I could join the drudgery of the nine-to-five world.” He sighed as he caressed my head. “I’d get the hell out of here and travel. Experience things. Live.”
“You haven’t already?”
“Not as much as you’d expect. And you better believe that I regret it. The biggest lie we’re told is that we have all the time in the world. But in reality, I could die tomorrow. And if I did, nobody would write about how I was a dedicated worker on my tombstone.” Cainan’s voice dropped as he tightened his arms around me.
I sucked in my lip, mulling over that. “You’re right.”
“I know,” he said, smiling down at me. “And on that note, come on a vacation with me.”
I blinked. “Vacation?”
“Let’s go somewhere. Just the two of us.” His breath tickled my ear as he drew me close. “My family owns a villa on a small island in the Caribbean.”
I grinned. “Right.”
“You could use the break to figure out your future, and I could use the company. It’ll be fun. Fresh pineapple juice. Warm waves lapping your feet. Hot sand. All the papaya you can eat. And me,” he added as an afterthought. “I’ll be there, rubbing lotion on your body every morning.”
A flood of heat engulfed my cheeks. “Sounds like paradise.”
His mouth tipped with a lazy smile. “You’ll never want to leave.”
“I can’t tell if you’re joking, but I do like the idea of being hand-fed grapes on a beach.”
“Do I look like a servant?” The words were tinged with an arrogance only an accomplished man like Cainan could achieve. “If anything, Claire darling, you’ll be feeding me.”
“I knew you were too good to be true.”
“Claire, I’m serious. Let’s do this.”
I swatted his chest. “Stop.”
“Pack a bag. We’re going.”
I snorted and slid from his arms, but he reeled me back into his embrace.
“Let me take you away for a couple weeks.”
“What-really?” My mind floundered when he nodded, fixing me with a penetrating glare. “I can’t. I don’t know you. You could be a maniac, or a bad guy intent on stealing my virtue.”
A feline smirk graced his handsome face. “Oh, it was mine the instant we met.”
“You’re that sure?”
“Come with me. I’ll prove it to you.”
“In your dreams.” I flattened my palms on his chest and kissed his cheek, turning away from the wave of his enticing cologne before he said something or touched me in a way that had me falling into his embrace again. “You should’ve offered to take me skiing. I love skiing.”
“Claire,” he growled.
“I have to go. I’m meeting my sister.” I winked at him and headed toward the exit. “Bye, Handsome. Save me a seat on your private jet.”
He grabbed my waist before I took another step, hooking his head over my shoulder. “The sister you still haven’t introduced me to?”
I flushed, nodding. I’d avoided bringing them together for reasons I didn’t understand. I hadn’t mentioned Cainan to her except in off-hand comments about “a guy I’m dating.” It felt easier to distance myself if my sister barely knew he existed. She was so wrapped up in her own world these days.
He raised a brow. “Are you ashamed of me?”
“Of course not.”
“Then let me come with you.”
I giggled, tracing the knuckles of his powerful hand. “Don’t you think we see enough of each other?”
“No.”
I laughed harder, heat tickling my cheeks. Then I faced him, but the humor I thought I’d see wasn’t there. His strong profile spoke of power, but his face kindled with a passionate honesty. Some men were like my sister’s fiance, stoic to a fault, and others vented their feelings like toddlers. Cainan let every flaw shine. He was so vulnerable. So open. The faraway look in his widened eyes silenced me.
The highlight of my week was watching the well-bred prince roll up his khakis and help me pick up garbage with the Streets Clean-Up program. I expected him to throw in the towel after fifteen minutes. He spent the entire four hours flirting with me as he tossed Styrofoam cups into a trash bag. He threw me smoldering looks. Bantered with me. Seized any excuse to touch me. The man had a crush on me, and I should soak it in instead of acting like it scared me. Even now, his bold stare made my skin flush.
“I want to see you more. Don’t you feel the same?”
“Yes.” My heart hammered foolishly as his mouth curved with tenderness. “And I’m happy that we met. You know, especially since you’re wrapped around my finger. You wouldn’t have picked up garbage on our second date if you didn’t really like me.”
He chuckled. “I enjoyed myself.”
“Only because you’re a relentless flirt.”
“Just because I’m engaged, genuine, and talkative doesn’t mean I have ulterior motives.” Cainan’s wink sent a flurry of wingbeats to my butterflies.
I could’ve fanned my face. “If you did, what would they be?”
“I’m not spoiling the surprise.”
I sighed. “You seriously want to meet my sister?”
“I want you, any way I can get you.”
God, I could fucking melt. He wanted to meet my family. This man was a keeper.
“Okay.”
“You sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“You do,” I whispered, curling my fingers in his shirt. “But in the way that gives me warm, gooey feelings.”
His smile staggered into a devastating grin that made the world disappear to a distant murmur. Then he lowered his head and pressed his lips into my cheek, then my jaw, chin, and finally, my mouth. Lips softer than velvet claimed me in a sensual stroke. His nails lightly brushed my arms. He grabbed the back of my head, but didn’t deepen the kiss. I chased his sigh. My tongue swiped his lips, and he inhaled sharply. I wanted him to devour me, but he stayed light and respectful.
It frustrated me. I ached to grab him by his auburn hair and pull him into a real kiss. How could I tell him that I wanted more? I pushed my tongue against his lip and flicked into his mouth. He responded with a groan that made me clench my thighs.
Cainan pulled back, his eyes glazed over. His mouth glistened. He looked like he could’ve bent me over a church pew, and if we didn’t have an audience, I might’ve let him.
Instead he took my hand.