Married to the Mafia Boss

Shirley

My hand is shaking a lot, but it’s definitely there, that bastard little red line that means I’m positively pregnant.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

It rises inside me from the pit of my stomach as though I’m going to throw up and settles as an intense pressure in my chest. I feel like I can’t catch my breath. This is a panic attack. I try to reason with myself. I tell myself I need to calm down, or someone might notice something.

I sit on the closed toilet lid, and my right leg bounces up and down as I stare at the little red line forming the plus sign. My world is over. My life is going to end. What the hell am I going to do?

When the Sorvinos informally adopted me, I was also christened and baptized a catholic. I can’t just run around and have a fucking abortion.

And what if Evgenii finds out? I haven’t slept with anyone else in months. It’s definitely his. Goddammit, I’m so thick! Why did I get drunk with him and fall into bed with him again as though he didn’t rip my soul to pieces and scatter it to the wind?

My phone makes a sound, and I look up sharply. I’m fighting back the tears as I take it from the nearby counter and look at the messages from Evgenii. A part of me wants to call him and tell him I’m not okay and that we should sort this out together. We can sort this out together and figure out how to make this work. I know I still have feelings for him, love and hate, but I don’t know if I can do that.

I put the phone back on the counter and hung my head. When I discovered what Evgenii had done to me and how he had used me, I vowed to put on my big girl panties and never rely on him or another man again and that I would never show weakness.Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.

Oh, God, Helena suspects I’m pregnant. If she figures out I’m going to get an abortion, I will be disowned by the family, professionally and personally. I can’t disappoint them like that.

I need a plan. I wipe my eyes. I’m going to tell them I’m pregnant, but only when I absolutely have to, and when I do, I’ll just say I was pregnant by a boy back home that left me, and I want nothing to do with him anyway.

I open the window. There’s a hedge outside. I’m not an idiot. I’m not going to leave the pregnancy test in the dustbin for someone to find. I throw it into the hedge as far as I can, and you can’t see it from where I’m standing. I shut the window, flush the toilet and wash my hands.

I go back to my office quickly, and as I enter, I find Alessandro sitting in my chair, looking thoughtful. He has papers in his hands, which I recognize as my rough first draft. He’s reading over it.

I wait until he sets it down and looks up at me. “Shirley.”

Shit.

No one in the family calls me Shirley.

I look into his eyes. “Don Sorvino.”

It’s respect, and I will always show him respect.

“Tell me about your date with Mikhail Golubev.” He sounds torn between curiosity and disappointment. I move to sit down opposite him. “I’ve been having ‘dates’ with bachelors from the various families to see what they are going to propose to Don Pacheco, so I can secure us the best chance of winning.”

Alessandro’s eyes don’t leave my face as I speak. Once I’m done explaining, he sits back, stroking his chin. “I’m worried you’re letting your emotions get the best of you, Shirls. This could backfire.”

Inwardly, I’m relieved. I’m not talking to my boss anymore. Technically, I’m talking to a man I consider my oldest brother.

“Everyone brings up the fact that I made the mistake of trusting Evgenii when I was a kid. How often do I have to prove myself before I’m forgiven? Have I not proved I’m trustworthy? Don’t I run your operations flawlessly, without question?”

Alessandro stands up and leans on my table. “You’ve been more emotional lately, swinging from rage to laughter. Don’t think I don’t notice, Shirley. Everyone has a breaking point, and I think Evgenii is yours.”

I keep as straight-faced as I can. “Evgenii is the last person I’ll ever trust or care for. I am emotional, Alessandro, and I am exhausted. This is a big deal, and it takes a lot of work to protect the family and secure the best territories and positions. I’m not complaining, but until this deal is sealed, I might come across as a bit stressed, a little tired ’cause I don’t sleep, and maybe I just have a lot on my mind.”

Alessandro studies me for a moment and then gives a heavy sigh. I know the weight of the family has been on his shoulders for a long time now. All his siblings and some cousins have certainly added to the gray in his hair and beard. I feel bad, but I can’t tell him I slept with Evgenii. I’ll lose everything.

“Shirls,” he says quietly, coming around the table to where I’m sitting. He leans against the table and takes my hands, holding them gently. “I will murder any fucking clown that starts with my family. You are my family. Please, if you need to talk to someone, you can talk. I’m willing to listen without judgment. If not me, anyone else in the family would be happy to sit and talk with you.”

Oh, God, my heart is breaking. I cannot cry.

Instead, I let a warm smile spread across my face. “Thank you, Alessandro. I know that I am safe and protected in the family, that we are family. I love you all and will always put you first in my life. I promise that I’m fine.”

Our eyes stare into each other’s before he leans down and kisses my forehead. “Send me the final draft of the proposal when you’re ready.”

I nod, and Alessandro lets go of my hands, walking out of my office.

I give it a moment before I hug myself and breathe deeply. I don’t know if he believed me. Alessandro is quiet but so much more clever than all of us. Even if he weren’t the eldest, he’d be our leader. He has been since we were children.

I move to my chair and look at the proposal papers. I pick up a pencil and try reading through it, but I can’t concentrate. I lean back in my chair, close my eyes, and place a hand on my stomach.

A child? Not something I ever wanted. I love my nieces, nephews, and cousins but never thought I was mother material. Lord knows everyone has asked me enough times to have children, settle down, and get married.

I am married-to my work, and it’s why the Sorvino presence is just as strong on the West Coast as it is in New York and other strategic places. Everyone in the family has gone through a lot over the years, and I don’t want to add to it.

Maybe I should tell Helena. She would know what to do, and I wouldn’t have to tell her who the father is. Just a nobody from the West Coast, a bad drunken decision.

Isn’t that what this is, after all?

I open my eyes and feel a calm settle over me.

I hear my phone vibrating as texts stream in, and I know it’s him. I didn’t respond earlier, and now he’s worried. Does that mean he really does care about me? Does that mean that he does love me? I can’t take a chance to find out because there’s only a tiny fragment of my heart left, and if that’s crushed, I think I may die.

And now I have a reason to live.