Chapter 65
That night I wasn’t able to sleep properly. Maybe because at first, I’m afraid to fall asleep and have nightmares, second is because I’m alone in Keian’s room that smells like him! There’s just a lot of thoughts going around my mind. That’s why until 1 in the morning, I still can’t sleep.
“Arghhh!” I sat up at the bed and looked around. Dark and Quiet.
I stood up and walked to the veranda to open its glass sliding door. The cold air greeted me.
Because of the full moon, it looked like there’s a light turned on at the field.
“Hey!” My eyebrows furrowed when I heard someone shout.
I closed the sliding door and got out of Keian’s room.
I can still hear shouts, so I neared Zeke’s… room?
I opened it to silence him, but I stopped when I saw whoever is in Zeke’s bed.
” You stupid idiot! And why did you go to France?!” Zeke continued shouting.
A quiet Keian is there… sitting at Zeke’s bed.
He noticed the door open, that’s why he looked at it.
Our eyes met, and I wasn’t able to stop my heart from beating faster.
“Hey, Keiranz! Are you listening?! Do you know what happened to Nassandra yesterday!?”
His eyes are cold, and it looks like he’s irritated at Zeke’s noise.
I bit my lip.
He’s already home?!
” What is it that you are looking— Nass?” I looked at Zeke, who noticed that I am here.
” U-uhhmm. Sorry, did I wake you up?” My gaze returned to Keian, with his head lowered and just looking at the ground.
“N-no. Ah, alright. I’ll go back.” Zeke’s eyebrow raised when I gulped.
” Nassandra!” I almost ran going back to my room— I mean Keian’s room.
I immediately closed the door and dived to the bed.
Why do I feel like crying?
I felt my tears fall.
” Hate this” I tried to wipe my tears, hoping it would stop, but it didn’t.
Why did he come home now? I’m still not ready!
My eyes widened when I heard the door open. I quickly laid to my side, facing the veranda. I covered my mouth and pulled the blanket towards my face.
I can slightly see the light from the door, and I’m sure who’s at the door.
” Nass,” I heard in his deep and manly voice.
I closed my eyes, though it’s apparent that I’m not sleeping.
I heard him sigh and close the door.
There are two scenes I’m expecting to happen.
To feel movement at the space on the bed beside me or his going out the room.
And I’m an idiot to hope for the former.
I continued crying until I was able to sleep.
—
I woke up at around 5 AM. I still don’t want to get up because I lack sleep, but it’s just that I’m not sleepy anymore.
I went downstairs to the kitchen to clean and cook. Some of them might eat early.
” Goodmorning, Nass!” I turned to Ema and Jane, who cheerily greeted me. I smiled at them.
” Goodmorning too. Are you two fine?” There’s something weird in their presence.
” Uhmm. We’re okay. Though they already buried Nathan, we were hoping to visit. Do you want to come with us?” My smile disappeared. That’s why they are a little bit sad.
” Sorry. Uhhmm. I will visit on another day. There’s something I have to do later” they nodded.
To be honest, I’m still not ready to see his grave. I’m afraid what happened that early morning will come back to me…
” Did you already cook breakfast?” I asked and approached them.
Ema shook her head.
” Not really. It may get cold. No one might still eat.”
” We just cleaned first” I smiled at them.
” I’ll cook so you two can rest” Ema and Jane’s eyes widened. At first, I thought they are like that because of me, but it was whoever’s at my back.
I turned to see who is the reason they are shocked, and I saw Keian…
We were both stunned when our eyes met.
He’s wearing a white button-up polo and shorts? Wait! This is the first time I saw him in shorts! Mostly, he wears trousers, jogging pants or jeans. I didn’t know he wears shorts.
His expression turned cold, and he looked at Ema and Jane.
” You!” He pointed at Jane.
The one he pointed at then stood properly.
” Y-yes?”
” Bring me food in my study.” He ordered.
Jane glanced at me.
” Sure, sir. But we just need to cook first” Keian ‘tsked.’
” Whatever. Just bring me my food” I raised an eyebrow at the leaving Keian.
” Nass. Why aren’t you the one bringing his food? Did something happen?” Jane astonished.
” Ahhh. It’s nothing. I don’t know to him. Alright, I’ll cook now while you two are resting.”
” But—” they weren’t able to do anything when I started cutting ingredients.
What they didn’t know is how my heart is beating so fast.
After a few hours…
I wandered around the mansion. For no reason, I just want to.
I’m done cleaning too. I don’t know if I should get my clothes at Keian’s room and go back to the maid’s quarter. I don’t know what I should do.
While walking, I saw something on my right.
The door of a room is opened, and inside is full of instruments and even a drum set.
I got curious. I’ve been here at the mansion for quite a while already, but I still haven’t been able to enter the music room.
It’s not occasionally that people enter this room and it doesn’t get dirty.
When it’s dusty, I’m not the one cleaning because Jane, Ema, or Nathan did it already.
I slowly widened the opening of the door, seeing if there is someone inside.
My breathing loosened when I saw there is no one.
Almost at the center of the room, there is a grand piano.
It’s not a very, very big piano, just the right size.
It’s been a long time since I played piano.
I used to play this instrument when I was a child. Papa also knows how to play the piano, and he’s the one who taught me.
I removed the cover of the keys and examined the piano.
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The keys are a little bit heavy, but the sound is good. Pianos are just mainly like that.
I played a piece that I learned in the past, but I can’t remember it clearly, so I stop often.
I let go of the keys and tried to remember the notes.
Smiling, I sat at the chair opposite the piano and played the piece I remember.
I frowned at the end…
I still have a lot of mistakes, and my hands are already aching.
” Your hands are too stiff. It makes you lose coordination” I felt like my heart stopped beating when I heard Keian’s whisper, who is very close to me.
He’s standing behind me while holding my hand on the piano with his mouth near my ear.
He intertwined our hands, and that’s where I became more shocked.
” Too stiff,” He said with his husky voice.
I almost got terrified.
The heat I’m feeling disappeared quickly.
Keian took another stool, placed it near the piano, and sat at it.
Eh???
I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.
His cold expression is gone… I can see something in his eyes, unlike what I saw this morning.
” Why don’t you play a song, and I’ll sing?”
“Huh?”
Wait, what?
What is happening?
” Do you know how to read notes?” I nodded at him. He got his phone and pressed things on it.
He gave me the phone, and I saw a virtual note sheet there- A virtual note sheet of a song.
Is this working???
I pressed one note there, and it looked like it lit up.
I tried to play some notes, and it automatically went to the next when I finished one line.
Wah! It’s great!
My eyes widened, and I turned to Keian.
” Can you play that?” My eyebrows furrowed, and then I scrolled the whole notes of the song.
It’s not that fast and hard. In fact, the arrangement is excellent.
I blinked repeatedly and nodded again.
He wants me to play?
I didn’t glance at him and just looked at the cellphone.
” Okay…”
( Play ‘Sorry’ by Halsey, male version)
I started doing the intro while none of us didn’t intend to look at each other.
And then, he started singing with his beautiful deep voice.
Don’t look, Nassandra… you may make a mistake. Don’t look…
‘I’ve missed your calls for months, it seems
Don’t realise how mean I can be
‘Cause I can sometimes treat the people
That I love like jewelry
‘Cause I can change my mind each day
I didn’t mean to try you on
But I still know your birthday
And your mother’s favorite song.’
I was almost dumbfounded at the lyrics of the song. Why does it feel related?
‘So I’m sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can’t believe
That anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me.’
Since I got the tone, I was able to remove my look on the cellphone. I glanced at Keian with his head dropped down and looked like he’s shy but irritated?
Huh?
‘Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn’t mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh’
He peeked at me and was shocked that I was looking at him. My gaze returned to the cellphone.
‘I run away when things are good
And never really understood
The way you laid your eyes on me
In ways that no one ever could.’
His voice got a little hoarse, and singing got difficult, so I looked at him.
‘And so it seems I broke your heart
My ignorance has struck again
I failed to see it from the start
And tore you open ’til the end.’
A tear came out of his eyes, so I got more shocked.
He looked straight through me…
‘And I’m sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can’t believe
That anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me.’
My heart is beating so fast. I don’t know if it’s because of the song or because of how Keian stares at me.
‘Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn’t mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind.’
He smiled at me. A really sincere smile, while tears are flowing from his eyes.
And someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
But someone isn’t me
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
But someone isn’t me.’
My eyes widened at the lyrics. All I felt returned suddenly. It all gathered. Like it wants to break free altogether.
‘Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can’t believe
That anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn’t mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind.’
I bit my lips so I won’t cry too.
I hate him! Why did he sing!?
The whole time he is singing, you can really feel his emotions. Like there’s a message on every word coming out of his mouth.
‘And someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
But someone isn’t me.’
And I can’t help but feel what his true feeling are…
‘And someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
But someone isn’t me.’
I quickly move my hand away from the piano like I got electrocuted.
I looked at Keian, who has a sad expression.
” No, Keian…” I shook my head at him.
I want to say that it’s fine. That I understand him on what he did. That it’s not his fault. That he doesn’t need to be afraid.
But I can’t…
Like I can’t talk, I’m worried that when I speak, I will give up.
His hair is messy, and his head bent over.
I touched his wet cheeks then he looked at me.
I can see the regret and guilt for what he has done that day.
I stood up and stood him up too.
” Nass” he placed his hand on the back of my head and hugged me.
I hid on his chest to finally cry.
No words are needed for us to understand what happened…