LOVING THE REJECTED BILLIONAIRE

In life, there are some things that need re-thinking. Not just a second thought, but up to a thousandth thought if need be just to be certain. There are arduous and serious battles that require thorough preparations before embarking on.

There is also that point in life where you need to sit back and think before taking another step. That point where your heart is overly loaded with qualms. When your mind is clogged with uncertainty and doubts. That point in life where even you can’t tell what you really want. That point of bafflement that you can’t tell what is right from what is wrong – when right seems wrong and the wrongs seem right. That is exactly me, Tania Lawson, at this crack of dawn. There is just too much for me to take.

I love Andy so much. God can attest to just how much I am willing to do for this man and his daughter. But what if, just what if, he still feels something for Maria? Just what if…

I can’t wait for Maria to laugh it in my face after she wins. I will feel like a total loser, just like in the old times. I can’t stand the loss and chagrin. I have to do something.

I am not giving up. I am not letting go. This isn’t the end for me and Andy. I love him so much to let him go, but I need to think. I need some alone time to put my acts together. I need to figure out what I really am fighting.

There are still so many unanswered questions in my mind. Like if Andy is still married to this witch, because that is what she insists on. Two, my instincts tell me that Maria and Damian are still a thing. This fake show of playing motherly and the custody threats are what I can’t wrap my finger around. If it is her daughter she wanted, she should have gone direct to court. She didn’t have to impose on Andy. Maybe it’s my heart, but I don’t buy that lie about her loving Andy and wanting to get back together.

Again, how did she know that Andy and I were getting married if Damian wasn’t her spy? There is too much of a coincidence that I just can’t overlook. She sure was keeping taps on us. But why if she and Damian are still together? The dilemma is, she was with Damian before she got married to Andy, and three years after leaving Andy, she is with Damian? Something isn’t adding up. Lastly, how come Andy didn’t know that Maria and I were related? I am sure he did a thorough background check on me before he hired me. And Rita?

Rita!

Rita!

Rita!

That which!

I leave a very short handwritten memo on my bed. I am sure he will come looking for me in this room.

I look at this room that has been mine for months now. I have grown so attached to it that it pains me to leave, but I need to do this before my mind explodes. I’m not saying goodbye, because this sure isn’t goodbye. Andy loves me. I am the only one he wants – The apple of his eye that his heart yearns for. He will find me! He will.

This is the hope I am carrying. The hope that I am holding on to.

I take my small suitcase and tiptoe out of my room. It’s still dark, so I use my phone’s torch to light my steps. Step by step, I walk out of the house – my house, because I belong here, not that witch upstairs.

I wake Mark up to open the gate for me and after minutes of convincing lies, he opens the gate for me. He offered to drop me off as that is his job as our chauffeur, but I declined.

The clock ticks five o’clock in the morning. It’s still too early, so I take the first ride that I come across after standing in the cold for close to twenty minutes.

Riding on a motorcycle at this hour for a distance of thirty minutes is one freaking cold hell! I’m shaking and freezing with cold as we make a stop in the city CBD. I hand my payment to the motorcycle rider and opt for a cup of tea before proceeding with my sudden unplanned journey.

I take my breakfast without any hurry at the first hotel that I come across. Nothing tastes good here- not the kebab, not the tea, and definitely not this hamburger! They taste bitter, just like my soul is. I call the waitress and order a takeaway coffee.

As I wait for my bill, I tap the uber app on my phone and order one. I prefer the fast and quiet uber this minute compared to the noisy matatu. What’s worse will be bumping into someone who recognizes me and they start with unwanted chit chats. Sigh!

Three hours later, we enter the familiar street. Nothing seems to have deviated here. It’s still the same old street, but I love the tranquillity that is greeting me already. The sweet melody of the chirping birds hitting sweetly like a calming lullaby to my tormented soul.

I pay a whooping four thousand compared to the seven hundred I would have paid if I took the public transport. That is quite a lot, but I chose it for myself. Besides, I don’t think I regret it though, because I am contemplating saying goodbye to those ridiculous noisy and crammed matatus.

I drag myself inside our very own compound, my suitcase slithering behind me.

I should be delighted to see my family again. I should be wearing a beautiful mega-watt grin on my face right now, but I know it will not be easy. I know they are devastated with me.

They were just so delighted to attend my wedding two days ago, only for me to fail them at the very last minute. They implored for an explanation, but I lied. What was I supposed to them?

Even now, I don’t know what they are going to say. I have no idea what their aftermath reaction will be, especially after I tell them that the man who I was going to marry, the man I love, the man I am still dreaming to marry, is none other but my cousin’s husband. I hate the fuck that fated me to Maria! Fate or destiny, I don’t give a shit! Fuck that fuck!

I slightly knock on the door, and patiently wait albeit with a racing heart. I hate feeling this way. I hate whatever fear I’m feeling.

The door slowly opens after what felt like a decade. For a man in his early fifties, the man before me looks so handsome and strong. No single trace of grey hairs, and no wrinkles too.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“My child.” He greats, opening his arms wide and I fall in them for a hug. I guess the situation isn’t as bad as I presumed.

“Father.” I whisper, closing my eyes to absorb the feeling.

“Tania!”

We pull away to Mina and Mira’s twin exclamations.

They run to me, encompassing me in a bear hug. I missed these two crazy twins. I know I am in for a smoky interrogation session with them, but I’m ready for everything that will be thrown at me. I have all the answers to their questions now, including what they probably wouldn’t want to hear. That I love my Andy despite everything. Now and even in the afterlife.

“Welcome, dear. I will call your mother from the kitchen. Just have a seat.” Father says, as Mina takes my bag.

Ooh, me! I think I left my brain back in Andy’s house, that is why I wasn’t able to think of doing even a little shopping on the way. How careless of me!

My mother emerges from the kitchen with a tray of hot cinnamon rolls. The aroma is inviting all the way from here. She has always been a queen chef. Her cooking is exceptional. Thanks to her cooking lessons, I was able to make my way to Andy’s heart with just simple meals, and in his heart, I will stay. Forever.

I smile when her eyes meet mine, hoping to get a warm and welcoming reception from her like what I have received from the rest, but no. There is no trace of a smile on her face. Not even a fake or a faint one.

She breaks the eye contact with me, and proceeds to the dining area where everything is set for breakfast. I also thought that she would at least say something to me after placing the tray down on the table, but I was wrong. So wrong. After ordering Mira to get an extra cup for me, she sits down as if I am not here, like I am not her Tania. Not even greetings!

There is fire in the mountains!

I have never seen my mother like this. Not even when I told them that I was gonna marry Andy even without their approval. Then, she just sighed and asked me if Andy is truly the man I love. She never looked this…

“Mother?” I softly call as the rest crouch at their usual seats.

“You came at the right time. Take your seat and let’s have breakfast.” She says, concentrating on serving the tea. She is so disgruntled to even cast me a glance, at her daughter – her firstborn child. This is how mad she is at me.

I understand her. I accept her anger towards me. But you know what? I would prefer if she yells at me, scold me, or even slap me. Maybe I deserve all that. But this?

“Mom? Aren’t you even going to…”

“I said, SIT DOWN, Tania Marie Lawson!” Her voice full of authority echoes through the four corners of this room, making everyone tense, even her own husband.

I obey her command, and plunge into my seat next to Mira.

I was wishing for her to even just spare me a glance, but now that she does, I am the one who can’t look into her eyes. I bow down, hoping she withdraws her gaze from me. I am dying inside with shame, but her next words are like a sharp knife piercing my heart. Or better still, a bullet shot directly into my heart.

“We earned you, didn’t we?” I look up, tears almost falling. I don’t know how long I can hold them back. “Has she returned?” She has just the perfect questions. The ones I don’t want to hear.

I nod my head, and rotate the corners of my eyes around each one of them. I see exactly what I expected – shock. Pity. And what else?

She pushes my cup of tea to me.

“Go take a rest after breakfast. We will talk afterwards.””Yes, mom!” I say with a heavy heart.

How can I even swallow something with this lump blocking my throat?