Lonely Bride

Sitting at the centre of the abandoned street on a stormy night, searching up the darkish sky, and I let the water droplet drain the entire ache I am feeling.

Rain droplet was making sound when he meets to land. Is rain being happy to meet the land? At least someone is happy. I smile sadly.

There were making a sharp noise of wind. It was even louder when it was collided with something. So, some else is also not happy.

My eyes were open and stuck to no particular thing, but my heart was only talking to my almighty.

Numb. My body has become numb to any weather. I don’t feel cold, hot or anything. All feels the same for me.

It feels like pain has become my shadow.

I lay my beckon on the ground of the rusty and prickly road, and my eyes are nevertheless searching up the darkish sky.

Tears are mixing with water, passing through my pores, and sinking into the coronary heart of the mother of earth. ‘

‘Where will this life take me now?’ I ask my almighty.

‘Am I going to live my life like this continually alone?’ I ask it again.

‘Words are now not coming out of my mouth; however, I understand my cry is reaching his ear.

‘I know that my god is listening to me; however, once more, why is he not doing something for me?’ My unconsciousness was requested again.

‘Does God additionally hate me?’ Again, my unconscious asked.

‘But again, why would he hate his very own child?’ I thought.

‘No, he is the kindest in the world. He will by no means flip his face at me.’ I comprehend that fact with a small smile.

‘But then why is he staring at my vulnerable state?’ Again, my unconscious request, and this time I stayed mum.

Because now I don’t have any replies to this.

I began laughing at this thought. I snickered and snickered and snickered until my belly began hurting.

Gosh, I nonetheless can’t agree more. I am nevertheless looking forward to something wonderful that is ready for me.

I pay attention to what my grandmother said and attempt to live my life, but nothing appears to have worked until now.

No matter how hard I try to cheer myself up, I am ultimately alone.

Loneliness is no longer leaving me at all.

I had commenced drowning myself in alcohol to ease my pain; however, it elevated my ache even more, as if it were possible.

I strive to hook up on one-night stands at random clubs. However, I may no longer want to take off even a single cloth from my physique in front of them.

I don’t understand why I can’t get over this.

No, I am no longer missing something or anyone; however, I am hating the lot I have long gone through.

I hate myself for letting anyone take advantage of me.

It’s all my fault.

And this time, it genuinely is.

‘I suppose the loss of life is higher than leaving such an existence all on my own with a bunch of hypocrites.’ My unconscious mind says so, and I agree.

I got up in a jerk and regarded right here and there to see where to go next, and I padded closer to where I suppose my destination is.

I have made up my mind, and this time I do not wish to change in anything.

I strolled and strolled and strolled as quickly as I could; however, I stopped listening to a voice.

Why is my coronary heart thumping so fast?

It Seems someone is calling me.

My feet at has frozen to a place and not moving even when I am trying my best.

No, I don’t prefer to look back.

There is nothing I have waiting.

I desire to, to move on to my destination.

I understand that the loss of life is waiting for me. ‘I don’t prefer to assume anything.’

I shiver when a speedy, bloodless breeze gush to my moist body.

I shake my head when I hear a voice, as if calling me from the bottom of his heart.

I closed my ear with my palms. I shake my head as more tears pools down to my eyes. I deny looking back. I deny hearing anything.

No, I don’t prefer to hear anything from anyone. I have no one.

But when I cling to my hand down,

I heard the same voice once more.

And my heart knows this voice.

A voice that pricked my coronary heart till it bleed.

***

Taking a sip of my espresso, I look around the lovely, vibrant landscape with stunning plant life until my eyesight goes.

I took a deep breath and let the sparkling air hit my nostrils, giving me an eye-catching feeling. ‘How existence has been modified in simply a mare of ‘time, I thought whilst taking one extra sip.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

It’s been two years, three months, and four days since I left him. Not that I am counting days, perhaps it has become difficult for me to forget not forget. How hard I try. I know every day, every hour. And somehow, It’s heart-piercing.

Every day I think about him and hate him even more than yesterday. Hate is a strong word. But the feeling I have for him is strongest then any word available in a human dictionary.

I have closed all the doors that lead toward my heart. Every day, my coronary heart becomes stoned. Sometimes I felt I had emerged as too arrogant or may also be too bloodless closer to people.

I don’t like human creatures at all.

I simply desire to remain away from the human jungle; therefore, I am comfortable in my small cocoon with a bunch of my humans who love me unconditionally, and I do the same to them. My trance was damaged when I heard the fantastic chirp of my beautiful morning. “Mommy, mommy, mommy, where are you, mommy?” I giggled listening to this; however, I stayed quiet.