Kids from One Alpha

Kids From One Alpha” By Selena Lynch Chapter 56

Chapter 56: Confiding

Logan was invited to the hospital when the new maternity ward was completed. He thought it was a little ironic that it was the maternity ward he was going to tour first. Serena met him in the waiting room. She was smiling and seemed…happy. He wondered if she really had been miserable living in his house with him. Though, in all honestly, she’d been so busy, he’d hardly seen her. He hoped her joy was linked to the renovations in the hospital starting to wind down. “You wanted to show me the maternity ward,” Logan said as a greeting. Serena nodded.

“Yes, come on,” she beckoned him to follow. The maternity ward had its own rooms separate from the rest of the hospital. They were delivery rooms. There was a nursery and an infant ICU. The staff working in the maternity ward were designated to that ward alone, and all the supplies was kept separate. “We were able to add two more delivery rooms, which is good since the pack keeps growing,” Serena was telling him. “The nursery has been updated with new cradles, swaddles, and some newer equipment that is known to increase infant survival rates.” “That all sounds good,” Logan said absently. There was a newborn in one of the cradles. The nursery had a large window that Logan could look through at the new pack member. He sighed, unable to pull his eyes from the sleeping, mushy looking baby. “Are you alright, Alpha?” Serena asked coming to his side. He gave her a strained smile. “Yes,” he said with a nod. “It won’t be too long before that is your child in there,” she said. “How is Holly doing, she hadn’t come in for a checkup?”

“She’s fine,” Logan said absently. “I think she’s fine. She hasn’t brought it up at all. She would if something was wrong.” Logan sighed again, shaking his head and backing away from the nursery window.

“Well, please remind her to come in for her checkups,” Serena said. Logan nodded, but he wasn’t really listening to what she was saying.

The idea that Holly was pregnant hadn’t fully sunk in yet. He was holding it at a distance because he didn’t want to accept it. “I’m not ready,” he said suddenly. He wasn’t sure if he had said the words out loud, but Serena turned to face him, her eyes soft. “Not ready for what?” she asked. Logan shook his head. He needed to talk to someone! His mother wouldn’t want to hear it, because she was urging him to find a Confiding Luna. He couldn’t tell Holly, or she would freak out even more. Normally, Carson would have been his ‘go to’for advice, but he hadn’t seen Carson much since he’d had dinner with Serena. She was a mother, she could understand his fears.

“I’m not ready to be a father,” he said. Serena’s eyes changed quickly. Logan thought he saw a flicker of anger, then sadness, but quickly, she composed herself and became compassionate. “It is a big responsibility,” she admitted. She walked closer to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Logan, have you talked to Holly about this?” He shook his head. “No, no, I can’t do that,” he insisted. “Holly wouldn’t like that very much.” Serena gave a humorless chuckle and dropped her hand. “Perhaps not, but Logan, the two of you are in this together, and you have to tell her the truth. Otherwise, it is only the child that stands to get hurt,” she told him. Logan sighed. “I know,” he said turning from her and throwing his arms up in the air. “Trust me, I get it. I’ve seen what you‘ve gone through with the twins to keep them happy and having such a good life. You do an amazing job, but I know I’m not ready for that responsibility.” Logan sighed, bowing his head slightly. All his confessions were tumbling out. He’d been holding them so close, so deep inside, that he hadn’t even been able to admit them to himself. Now that he started, he couldn’t stop! “I love the twins,” he said more gently. “I love being around them, I love playing with them. Beyond that…I don’t know what I am doing. I don’t know how to be a father, and I didn’t want this. Not now, now with …” he trailed off. “Logan,” Serena said his name firmly. He turned to look at her. She had her hands on her hips, like a mother ready to scold him. He flinched. “I understand the fear and uncertainty. Trust me, I do. When I found out I was going to be a parent…it wasn’t what I had planned.” “But you went through with it,” he said. “And you are so good at it. I have no way of knowing if I will be good at him.” Serena smiled at him, such a warm smile it lifted his mood incredibly “I think you’d be great at it,” she said. “Really?” he asked. Serena nodded. “Of course,” she

said. “But you have to be ready for it. You have to want it. That is what made my situation different. When I found out I was pregnant, I weighed my options, and I realized it was what I wanted.”

“And if it isn’t what I want?” he asked her. Serena sighed, shrugging. Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.

“I can’t answer that for you,” she said. “That is a conversation you have to have with

“You’re right,” Logan said softly. It was a conversation he was dreading having with Holly! “Alright, show me the rest of the renovations,” he said, moving on. “Everything looks really great so far.” “It does,” Serena said with a nod. “Who knew that a fresh coat of paint and bringing the hospital into the modern decade would work so many wonders?” Logan raised an eyebrow at her, and Serena laughed. Logan smirked at her. Serena finished giving Logan the tour of the maternity ward. She’d been surprised when he confided in her, but she knew what it was like. She remembered how she felt like she had no one to turn to, not her family, not her pack, no one. Logan wasn’t lacking family, friends, or pack, but she imagined he felt very alone in this particular situation. Knowing that he wasn’t ready to be a father, and that he’d opening admitted it, gave Serena her own thoughts to mull over. She’d been leaning towards telling Logan the truth, for the sake of her kids like her mother had said. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Now that Logan had confessed to not wanting to be a parent, she wondered if it would do more harm than good. Whether he knew the truth or whether the kids knew the truth, the dynamic of their relationship would change, regardless of if he wanted to be an active parent or not. It certainly complicated an already complicated situation. Telling Logan he was the father of her kids would mean he’d have to make a decision. He’d either need to step up or back off. Especially once she told the twins the truth. They loved him so much, though, and she didn’t want to hurt them by having him run off or back away from spending time with them. Groaning, Serena went to the nurse’s station to file her end of the day paperwork. “How’d the tour go?” Adriana asked, stepping up beside her. Serena rolled her eyes. “It was as good as it could be,” she said. “I think Logan is have an existential crisis.” Adriana laughed. “We all go through it,” she said.

“Yes, but he really seems to…” she trailed off. “I don’t know…like really bummed out.”

“About anything in particular?” Adriana asked. Serena sighed. She couldn’t betray the Alpha’s confidence. She didn’t know if Holly’s pregnancy was common knowledge yet, nor did she want to gossip about Logan’s personal problems. In a way, they were her personal problems too. Adriana was her friend, but the Alpha had confided in her about something he clearly hadn’t been able to raise with anyone else. As someone who had been there, had been on the “am I ready” side of an unexpected pregnancy, she understood how hard that could be. “He’s got a lot going on,” Serena said vaguely. “Yes, it doesn’t seem like Moonshine is going to back off anytime soon,” Adriana said, filling in the vagueness with what was most obvious. “And I heard Flo has been asking him to find a Luna so she can resign. I don’t envy him right now.”

“He’ll be okay,” Serena said with a firm nod.

“He has to be,” Adriana said. On her drive home, Serena thought about her decision to keep and raise her kids. Looking back, it hadn’t seemed like a hard decision at all. She knew that was just hindsight. In the moment, it had been an incredibly difficult decision. Logan was at a disadvantage, because he had the pack to consider, and he had to make the decision with someone else. Serena had been on her own, and that had made it easier, in many ways.