Chapter 55: What If?
Chapter 55: What If?
It's Monday morning today, almost a week since that incident. It's been seven long days since everything happened, and during this time, Miss Linda and Joday have been treating me well. But, it's also been a week since I've been intentionally avoiding Kiro. I don't consider it an overreaction; I'm just a human being, and I need time to breathe and think. The atmosphere inside this mansion has become suffocating. It used to be a place where I felt welcome and at ease, but now it feels like everyone is against me. They try to act kind, but I can't help sensing the unsaid words and tension lurking beneath the surface. Unfamiliar feelings have started to creep in, and a part of me blames Kiro for the problems I'm facing now. I may recognize my own flaws and occasional immaturity, but he played a part in this too. It's his fault, and I can't ignore that fact. “Lyka, it's time for Kiro to eat. Will you or I deliver his food again?" Joday asked weakly, her voice almost trembling. I still find myself wondering why Joday acts so casually when talking to me, making sure Kiro and I don’t cross paths. It's as if she's trying to protect us from each other. And there's something else that puzzles me—why Joday only refers to Kiro by his name and not as ‘Sir’, even when facing Madam. It's an unusual familiarity that stands out in this formal environment. "Are you stunned there? I know I'm beautiful, so stop that..." Joday's words snapped me back to reality, but I was still lost in my thoughts. I asked her to repeat her words because I haven’t grasped the latter very well. I hesitated for a moment before responding, "C-can you do it again, Joday? I f-feel bit bad—" My words trailed off, and I couldn't find the right way to explain my feelings. "What are you! You can't lie to me, Lyka," she continued, her tone serious now. "You still don't want to see Kiro, right? I mean, think about it. If I were in your shoes, and I found out that my lover remembered me as his ex, and then he had no memory of what he did to me the other night because he was drunk... Of course, I'd be angry, really angry..." Her words hit me hard, like a sharp jab to the heart. Joday's straightforwardness was both a blessing and a curse. She had a way of putting things into perspective, but it also hurt like hell. I couldn't deny the truth in her words. The hurt and confusion I felt were raw and real.
"I... I need time, Joday. I don't know what to do right now," I admitted, my voice shaky with emotion. "It's all just too much for me." She softened her expression and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I understand, Lyka. Take all the time you need. We're here for you, no matter what," she said gently, offering the support I desperately needed. Miss Linda intervened at that moment, sensing the sensitivity of the situation. "That's enough, Joday. Take the food upstairs," she commanded gently. Joday followed her orders without hesitation, and I was left to face my emotions alone once more. Another day passed without any interaction between Kiro and me, and the distance between us only seemed to grow wider. It pained me to see him going through the same struggle as me. We were both grappling with the aftermath of that unforgettable night. The doctor had advised Kiro to stay in his room, and he followed that advice, seemingly trapped in a self-imposed exile. It was clear he was trying to give me space, but the separation only deepened the ache in my heart. Fortunately, I had a valid reason for not delivering Kiro's food. "You still don't want to talk to him, Lyka?" Miss Linda asked, and I hesitated before nodding slightly and shaking my head. In addition to not wanting to talk to him, I had been feeling unwell in the past few days. I tried to hide it, but Miss Linda seemed to have noticed. "I notice that you vomit every morning, Lyka. Are you okay?" she asked, concern evident in her voice. I swallowed hard, trying to maintain composure. "I'm fine. I'm fine, Miss Linda. Really, there's nothing wrong—" But she asked another direct question that sent shivers down my spine, "When was the last time you got your last period?" Panic surged through me. When was it? I couldn't remember. Oh no, this was not good. My mind raced, trying to figure out what was happening to my body in recent days. I was overwhelmed with confusion and fear. I tried to calm myself, taking deep breaths. "I... I don't remember," I admitted hesitantly. "I've been
so preoccupied with everything else that I didn't even think about it." Inside, I scolded myself for being so careless. How could I not notice something as important as this? But I also understood that stress and emotional turmoil might have caused me to overlook it. "No matter what's going on, Lyka, it's important to take care of yourself," Miss Linda said gently. "We can get you a pregnancy test to find out for sure." Her suggestion only heightened my anxiety. I couldn't handle the possibility of being pregnant with everything else going on. "I... I don't know if I'm ready to know yet," I stammered, feeling overwhelmed by the weight of the situation. "I-I'm going to enter the maid's quarter first, Miss," I quickly excused myself, needing to be alone with my thoughts. I couldn't handle this right now. My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to come to terms with the possibility that I might be pregnant. It couldn't be true, could it? Why was everything happening all at once? Sitting on my bed, I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. The fear and uncertainty were consuming me. What would I do if I were pregnant? I felt a wave of nervousness and helplessness wash over me. I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself, but my mind was in turmoil. Joday's voice brought me back to the present. "L-lyka? Are you okay?" she asked with concern. I quickly wiped away my tears and forced a smile, "I'm fine, Joday." But she saw through my facade and pressed further, "Are you serious? Tell me the truth." Unable to contain my emotions any longer, a tear escaped my eye. Joday hugged me, and memories of her friend, Doday, flooded my mind. “Gosh, you look like Doday. I remember her with you, always hiding the tears behind her smiles..." she started. "You can count on me, Lyka. Not just because of Doday, but because you need it. I'm sorry for my behavior earlier, okay? You can count on me," Joday continued, comforting me. Miss Linda also joined in, offering her support, and I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I cried in their embrace, grateful for their understanding and comfort in the midst of all the uncertainty.This material belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.