HAPPY FOREVER AFTER

Daniel came into her office just as she was hanging up. “You look happy”. he said.

“I was talking to Ben”. Emma replied.

“Does he always make you smile like that?” he asked sourly.

“Sometimes” Emma replied.

He harrumphed sarcastically. He had been in a foul mood since they got back. Emma stared at him. “Are you going to sit down?” she asked when he made no effort to sit. She knew that something was definitely not right with him, and wanted to know what it was.

He stared at her for a moment and then took a seat.

“Ermm… I wanted to give you these” Emma said, pushing some files toward him. “I know I could have just brought them over tomorrow, but there’s something else I would like to talk to you about.

He waited for her to talk. Emma took a deep breath. She had asked him to come to her office and now that he was here, she didn’t know how to begin.

“Is there something wrong, Daniel?” she asked. “With work? With your family? I can’t help thinking something isn’t right and I’m a bit worried. I just want to know if everything is okay…” she hesitated, then added. “Or is it me?”

Daniel stared at her. “What makes you think there’s a problem?”. He knew exactly what she meant. But for some reason he asked that.

“I just told you,” Emma said. “You haven’t been acting right since we got back from that visit to your mom’s house. You were quiet during the ride back, I have hardly seen you ever since, And two days ago, you canceled a date with me without giving any reasonable explanation. Is someone sick? I just wanna know because if you need help with anything, I want you to know that I’m here.”

“I told you I was stuck at the office when I didn’t show up at your apartment” Daniel said.

“You sent a text.. Like you were canceling a meeting with your secretary, or something. Is it me? Did I do something? If I did, why don’t you just tell me?”

Daniel sighed. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Emma. I’m just… It’s not you, it’s me”.

“So what is happening.. Is it…” She stopped talking and stared at him. Those words “It’s not you… It’s me” were not the words you want to hear from someone you are dating… Or in any kind of relationship with.

“You want to end this… Don’t you?” she asked softly, dreading his reply.

Daniel didn’t reply. He simply stared at her.

But Emma didn’t need him to answer. The look in his eyes was the answer she needed. She looked down at the files on her table, asking herself how she didn’t figure it out sooner. How she could be so stupid. Pain flooded through her. And then anger. She got up from her chair and faced him.

“You are such a coward, you know that,” she said. “You asked for this, Daniel, remember? This was your fucking idea. And now you want to end it and you don’t have the guts to tell me? You let me keep assuming and wondering if I did something wrong? God, here I was wondering what the hell went wrong and for some reason it didn’t even occur to me that this could be the reason you have been avoiding me”.

“Listen to me,” Daniel began, also standing. He shouldn’t have let things go this far. But they had, and he had hurt her. He told her he wouldn’t, and yet he had.

He watched as she moved closer, the weight of failure sitting on his chest, making it hard to breathe. He couldn’t have messed this up any more than he already had.

Damn it, he’d screwed up.

“Get out” Emma said, stabbing a finger at his chest. She felt tears threaten. She felt sick. Sick that she had been so stupid and trusting. That she had let herself fall in love with him, even when she knew she shouldn’t. She had been so open in her affections. Almost believing that they had something. Forgetting that this was just another kind of business deal for him.

His handsome face might have been carved from stone, his powerful body tense and unmoving as he watched her. He looked like a man who had his back up against an electric fence.

“I’m so sorry, Emma,” he said finally. “I know I should have told you earlier, but I couldn’t seem to make a decision. I honestly can’t remember the last time I found it so hard to make a decision… About anything”.

“Wow… I feel so flattered. That makes me feel so much better” Emma said sarcastically.

Daniel continued. “And I know this doesn’t make anything better, but I’m going to say it anyway. I want you to know this isn’t about you. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is just… Me. This is about me… And my trust issues. It’s the reason why I said we couldn’t get emotionally attached to each other in the beginning. But I did, and lately I have been having a lot of doubts about us and the decision I… We made. And I think we shouldn’t have. We made a mistake. I know saying this doesn’t make anything better… So I’m just.. I’m just gonna go.”All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.

————-

Emma drove home with tears streaming down her cheeks, a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel and her foot too heavy on the gas pedal.

She had been so stupid. She had been an utter and complete fool. She had let down her guard, had sex with him as though he was the last man on earth, and even let herself fall in love with him.

With a guy who clearly wasn’t in for relationships… He had even told her so. And yet she had agreed to his stupid idea. So this was actually all her fault.

She should have trusted her instincts. He was just like every other guy who she had been with. She always found a way to get with the wrong guy. Falling for the wrong person.. That was her thing.

When she pulled into the parking spot in front of her apartment building, she couldn’t remember how she had gotten there. She went to her apartment and undressed without thinking. Went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, undressed and got in to wash off every trace of Daniel Rohan from her body.

She jerked the shower curtain closed and submitted to the assault of the showerhead’s spray of near scalding water.

She wanted to wash away the past two months, wash away the emotions, wash away all the hope she had managed to build up in such a short period of time.

How she had lied to herself, let herself be seduced so thoroughly, she couldn’t begin to understand.

And how could a fake relationship have felt so good and so real to her? How could she have had the feelings she did for a man she knew would hurt her so much. What the hell had she been thinking?

Her stomach churned, and she closed her eyes as the water sprayed her face, washing away her tears. To think of how far she had gone in their sexual relationship…. Her face burned as she recalled every moment she spent with him.

Daniel had made her feel comfortable enough to do almost anything, more comfortable than she had been with any man. Maybe that was why she had grown so attached to him. And now everything they had done embarrassed the hell out of her. She didn’t want to remember any of it.

How the hell was she going to face him at work now. She thought.