Forbidden Desire

Despite the overwhelming urge to leave, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let those women trample me once again. After hesitating for a few seconds, I faced the handsome man extending his arm to me, waiting for my response. I couldn’t deny that Dr. Kim Hoojin looked handsome in his black tuxedo, his beautiful black hair slicked back. But I didn’t understand why he was saving me when I had rejected his advances so many times before. I glanced at Jason, who, despite glaring at Dr. Kim, showed no reaction as Jinhee took her place beside him, crossing her arm with his. That place that had always been hers, once again, I was just a substitute. She and his mother pulled him inside while he looked back trying to see my reaction. I tried to control the tears, but before I knew it, my eyes were filled with water. I turned, attempting to descend the stairs and leave, but Dr. Kim followed me.

“You’re going to let them kick you out of here?”

I stopped descending the steps, pausing to ponder his words. God, how I needed just once not to come out on the bottom. How I wished just once not to feel like an intruder, an invader. He descended to the step where I was and took my hand, turning me to face him. For the first time, I really faced him without fear of Jason’s reaction.

“You’re too beautiful to just go home. Would it be so bothersome to keep me company for just one night?”

He had an extremely seductive look, and when he extended his arm to me again with a beautiful smile on his face, I couldn’t muster the courage to refuse. I just let him intertwine our arms. He handed the invitation to the host, and we gradually entered a huge ballroom with extremely tasteful decor. It was a charity ball, and there were several pieces of art to be auctioned off. I searched the room for any sign of Jason and simply couldn’t find him. As we entered, Dr. Kim approached us and smiled to see us arm in arm.

“Wow, son, how did you manage to get the company of such a beautiful lady?”

Dr. Kim looked me up and down as if measuring every part of me and smiled as he replied.

“I don’t even know how lucky I got, Dad.”

“I saw your boss just now accompanied by Jinhee, who also looks beautiful as always.”

I lowered my head, trying to disguise my sadness, and Dr. Kim, noticing this, placed one of his hands on the small of my back, causing a shiver of surprise.

“Would you like a drink?”

I nodded, and we left, entering even further into the huge hall until we came across one of the many waiters circulating with various glasses of champagne.

“Do you like champagne?”

I wrinkled my nose unknowingly, and he smiled.

“To be honest, I’m not a big fan either. I prefer rose wine. Would you like a glass?”

I smiled and nodded.

“Then wait for me here for a minute.”

I stood there, and as much as I knew Dr. Kim only stepped away from me to get a drink, I had never felt so alone in my life. I looked around, seeing all these people exuding wealth, knowing I wasn’t like them. None of me fit in here, and even though I was covered in diamonds, I felt like trash. None of the conversations around me seemed to make any sense, and I shrank into my insignificance, once again realizing that my place wasn’t here. I was an intruder who had entered the VIP room by mistake, and I felt like someone would ask me to leave at any moment. I looked around, and all the faces seemed like mere shadows to me until I focused on the only face that mattered to me, the face that inhabited my dreams but now seemed to be the protagonist of my worst nightmare. I blinked several times, hoping to wake up from this nightmare, but with each passing moment, I realized that it was real. I watched as he smiled arm in arm with the woman I knew he loved from the first day. They were talking to Mr. Lee, who seemed to be enjoying their company. All this time I just wanted to deceive myself, wanted to believe even momentarily that I could win him over, that he could be mine. But now, seeing them together looking so happy, I realized that I had never been more than a substitute, an intruder between them. Jinhee looked at him with admiration, with desire, in a way I had never seen her look at him before. My only advantage over her was that she didn’t love him, but now it was clear that had changed. So, if she loved him and he loved her, I was only getting in the way. I was the other woman, and now that was clearer than ever.

“They make a beautiful couple, don’t they?”

I was startled to see the older woman appear beside me like a ghost, verbalizing what anyone would think when looking at them. By now, I could feel a tear rolling down my face.

“It’s no use. She will always be his wife, and you’re just a cheap whore he uses to relieve himself.”

I could feel the anger consuming my body, my eyes burning, my body trembling.

“I won’t allow…”

“Here, you don’t allow or disallow anything! You’re only here because that little doctor probably realized you’re a slut, and like any man, he wants a piece too. So here’s some advice… Give him a chance because you’ll never get anywhere with my son!”

After spewing all her venom, she left, and looking to where he was again, my gaze met Jason’s. Seeing him, tears streamed down my face, and when he noticed I was crying, he took a step towards me, but was soon stopped by Jinhee, who, with a smile on her face, lightly gestured to Mr. Lee, as if reminding Jason that he should impress him. He really didn’t come. I looked at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears from falling, but nothing seemed to calm me down. Without realizing it, Dr. Kim had already returned with the glasses in his hands and handed me one. He had a smile on his face that faded when he realized I was crying. He took a handkerchief from his pocket and brought it to my face, wiping away my tears. For a moment, I remembered the man with orange hair and how much I wished for that hug now. I closed my eyes and took a sip of the wine, which was sweet, smooth, and velvety on my throat.

“Dr., I…”

“Dr., no, for you, I’m Hoojin or Jin…”

I smiled weakly at the gentleness of the man in front of me, who looked at me with such tenderness.

“Sorry, Hoojin… I thought about it and I’m going to leave.”

“Please don’t do that…”

“I wouldn’t be good company, and I’ll end up ruining your night.”

“I think I should decide that, shouldn’t I?”

I felt a fixed gaze on me, and I saw that Jason was watching us, seeming too distracted to pay attention to the conversation he was in. He seemed to snap out of it when Jinhee caught his attention by running a hand down his neck, and I noticed him shivering. Seeing that reaction only confirmed my worst fear, that she still had power over him and that he still loved her. All this time we spent together, all our nights of love, none of it was enough to erase or even diminish what he felt, and when I realized it, tears were rolling down my face again, but this time with more force.

“I… I need to get out of here, Hoojin…”

My voice came out broken by tears, and he approached, taking our glasses and placing them on a nearby table. Then he approached a little too much, taking my face in his hands, making me step back and face Jason, who seemed furious. But when he realized I was looking at Jason, Hoojin gently turned my face to his, making me face him.

“Hey, don’t look at them. Forget them, even if just for one night.”

I took a deep breath and laid my head on his shoulder, letting him lead me through the hall. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but somehow I felt comfortable. He had a masculine scent that was distinctive without being too strong. When I looked again, I saw Jason practically dragging Jinhee to a more secluded part of the party upstairs, and I was afraid he would do something foolish. So, without thinking, I followed them, accompanied by Hoojin. Upon reaching the second floor, I saw them arguing. I could hear and see everything clearly, but they hadn’t noticed my presence there, so I just listened.

“Why are you doing this, Jinhee? Why do you always show up when I’m happy?”

“Because I love you, Jason! Can’t you see? I made a mistake, but now I’m willing to do anything for you! For us! Can’t you see, Jason? We love each other, and now we can have everything together.”

He stared at her, and I could see him giving in. He shook his head and moved away from her, but she approached, caressing his face, and he pushed her away, holding her arms.

“Why now, Jinhee? Why now that I’m with the woman I…”Exclusive © material by Nô(/v)elDrama.Org.

She seemed to panic, and a tear rolled down her face, but seeing that he didn’t complete the sentence, she smiled in relief.

“The woman you what, Jason?”

He looked at her and couldn’t say anything.

“You can’t say it, can you? You can’t say you love her because you know that in reality, the love of your life is and always will be me.”

He seemed to consider what she said, and before he could react, she kissed him, with hunger, feeling, desire. I felt my whole world collapse, and I felt a pain so strong in my stomach that it felt like I was going to die right there. Tears streamed down my face, and when I saw him return her kiss, my legs weakened, and I felt the whole world spinning around me. I stumbled, being supported by Hoojin, who was behind me.

“Jane? Jane?”

Hearing my name, Jason was startled, breaking his kiss with Jinhee, and when he looked at me, I felt the pain intensify, and I simply passed out.