Dirty Seduction

Fuck. I shouldn’t be thinking like that, not with Mum crying next door.

I wondered what it would be like, to have sex with a man like Julian. I wondered how he’d stare at me if I stripped naked for him, and what he looked like under his suit. I wondered what his cock would look like… if the romantic filth I read and listened to on audio was telling the truth…

I hoped so. I’d love to live out even one of those scenes in real life.

Mum was still heartbroken, but I couldn’t stop myself. The memory of Julian’s words was too strong and too heated, and the strength in the way he’d thrown Scottie across the room was too intense to ignore. Plus, I wanted the distraction. I needed the distraction.

It’s not your mother I’m going to be wanting, Rosie, it’s you.

There was no denying it… I wanted him, too. I wanted a savior, who stood out like a romance novel hero. I wanted the man who’d saved my mother.

My panties were wet as I hitched my skirt up, and my clit was sparking the second I touched it. My imagination was alive with thoughts of Julian. His intense green eyes, his strong hands, and the way he stood so tall. His voice… so rich, so polished.

The way he said cunt with such a beautiful accent.

I was desperate to know how a guy like him would fuck a girl like me. What would his voice sound like, and what would he say? Would he be like one of the crazy hot narrators I adored?

He’d probably be even hotter.

I came fast, muffling myself with a pillow, because I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have played. I needed to keep away from him like he’d told me to for Mum’s sake as well as mine. So, why taunt me with fantasies?

Just a shame there were so many fantasies at my disposal. Damn it.

I called up social media and checked out the book groups I was a member of. I asked for dirty age gap recommendations in an anonymous post, and the advice came flooding in from loads of filthy romance bookworms. The list was incredible. My ears were already desperate for the audio. I typed out thank yous and added books to my playlist at lightning speed, setting one up right away. I couldn’t help myself.

Mum was huddled up in the fetal position when I found her asleep in front of the TV the next morning. I cleared up the pizza plate and got some porridge ready, waking her up with a gentle shake. I got a huge rush of sympathy as I looked at her, and I’d have sat there all day if I had the chance. My resolve from last night had broken.

“Eat up,” I said as I handed the bowl over, but she placed it next to her with nothing more than a token of thanks.

I doubted she’d be eating it, but I had no time to encourage her. I had to get to work.

“Are you going to be alright?” I asked, and she nodded at me, rubbing her tired eyes. “I’ll survive.”

I hoped so.

I worked my butt off that weekend, but I was hanging out with Mum every chance I had. Around that, with every other chance I had, I was enjoying audio and ebook filth from red-hot online recommendations. I convinced myself that book heroes were plenty good enough, burying myself in fantasy and nothing more as I stayed away from savior Julian, checking he was out of sight every time I left the apartment. I resisted the urge to look up at his window and see if he was standing there smoking, and I tried to keep my thoughts clear of him because he was just the man upstairs and nothing more.

Mum did ok with picking herself up. Within a week she was smiling and sitting at the table with me for dinner. She was back at work and enjoying TV, and she even got her crochet kit out to make a hat for cute little Ramsay. I loved seeing her like that, grinning when a show made her laugh. I’d sit and laugh along with her.

I prayed this time it would last, and she’d settle into a life that didn’t have Scott in it, but within three weeks she seemed to be getting preoccupied, messages pinging in constantly on her phone. She always tilted the screen away from me when she opened it, so it became obvious. As much as I hated it, it had to be him. There had been no begging from Jayden in days, and he’d been keeping his distance since his dad didn’t need my help anymore.

“Don’t do it, please,” I said to Mum before I left for work on Friday evening. But my words were wasted. She was already dressed up in her Zaza’s purple dress.

“Don’t do what?” she asked, and that sealed the deal for me. Her pretend ignorance confirmed it.

I was almost out of the door when she cleared her throat in the hallway.

“Me and Trish will probably be hanging out here late tonight, so maybe you could stay with one of your work friends? You haven’t seen them in ages. Or your college ones. How about them?”

She was clutching at straws, because I hadn’t been around the pizza house gang for months now on a night out. And as for my college friends, well. I barely even knew what they did on the weekends.

“I’ll come home,” I told her. “Don’t worry, I’ll have my book on, like always. I’ll set the volume up high.”

She looked so uncomfortable it hurt.Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

“You’ve got work so early though…” she tried. “I’d hate to keep you up like that.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said and left her behind.

I had ten unread messages when I left work and set off for home later that evening. All of them came with a warning.

It’s going to be loud here, love, sleep over somewhere.

Go out and have fun, Rosie, and get an early night somewhere else.

We might not hear you. It’s going to be a loud one.

On and on they went.

I didn’t reply, anger already rising as I marched up the street. I dashed up the stairs to scope out just how far the situation had gone, but when I turned my key in the lock the door stayed shut. I elbowed it, but it didn’t shift an inch.

It was bolted.

“Mum!”

The music turned up louder, and I could have burst into tears on the spot.

She was probably dancing around the living room with the guy who made her life hell. I was so enraged I could have killed him. He was that pitiful, it made me feel sick.

Another message pinged through to my phone, which almost drove me crazy. If I’d had more strength, I would have kicked my way in there.

You could head over to Jayden’s tonight, sweetheart. He’d love to see you and could make up the spare bed. Or go to Trisha’s? She’s only down the hall. x

She knew I knew Scottie was in there, but she didn’t care. She was so desperate for attention, so needy for someone to love her, that she’d rather shunt me aside than tell him goodbye.

I didn’t want to go to Jayden’s, and I didn’t want to hang out with my pizza friends, or my college friends, and I didn’t want to sculk down the corridor to Trisha’s place. She’d have been in on Scott worming his way back into Mum’s heart from the very first message.

I slid to the floor with my back to the door, fighting back the tears, because I didn’t want them. I needed to be the strong one, not the hurt one. Mum would have plenty of hurt coming her way.

I put my earbuds in, but tonight books meant nothing to me. I had my eyes closed for ages, trying to focus and must have been there for way over an hour when I felt a shadow over my face.

I tugged myself free from the audio, my heart suddenly racing when I saw just who it was. His tie was loose, and his hair was ruffled, and I could smell the whisky right the way down from the floor.

“Are you ok, Rosie?”

The bass was still thumping out from my apartment, but I shrugged and dropped my eyes.

He’d told me to stay away from him, so I would stick to it.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Julian gestured to my door.

“Is he in there?”

I didn’t want to confess the obvious, so I shrugged again.

“I don’t know. She’s in there with someone.”

The man upstairs didn’t even humor my lie.

“Have you got nowhere else to go to stay away from him?”

“What does it matter? He’ll still be here in the morning.”

Julian crouched down, right in front of me.

“It matters a lot.”

I couldn’t help but crack a hurt grin.

“Yeah, sure it does. Don’t worry, I’m used to it by now.”

He looked so pissed off, I felt it in my gut.

“Is there nowhere else you can go? Nobody who’ll let you stay?”

Fuck dropping my eyes, because I couldn’t the pull from his was just too strong. I looked right into his stare, hating how the tears sprang up before I could stop them. They’d be obvious, even behind my glasses under shitty lights.

“No,” I admitted. “There isn’t. Nowhere else I want to be.”

He looked up and down the corridor, face tormented like he was battling some inner demons.

I sure didn’t push him, just sat there, resigned to being there all night long.

I expected a goodbye when he got to his feet, but there wasn’t one. He gestured upstairs, instead. “You need to stay safe,” he said. “So, you’d best come along with me.”