Chapter 168
When we got home from the bar, about a dozen cars were parked on the street. “Weird,” Mom said dramatically. “The neighbor’s must be having a party.”
“That’s probably it,” Dad agreed.
I shared a look with my brother. His face told me everything I needed to know.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.
My fears were confirmed when we opened the door and a room full of people shouted, “SURPRISE!” Balloons filled the room and streamers were hung above doorways. I feigned surprise and excitement, although the latter feeling was genuine. The house was filled with old friends from high school who were also home for Thanksgiving break. As I accepted a red solo cup full of beer-the first of many that evening, my brother promised-I suppressed a sigh. As nice as it was to see all of these old acquaintances, the party was missing some important people. My best friend, Erin, had stayed on campus for the break rather than fly home.
And my other three best friends aren’t here, I realized. I miss Riley, Avery, and Harper almost as much as her.
I had spent the past few days channeling my anger toward those three, the sources of my distraction. But after being away from them for four days, my wrath had faded. I was internalizing the blame now.
It wasn’t their fault. It was mine.
I was an adult and should have been able to manage my own workload. I knew I was allowing myself to be distracted this semester, but I shrugged it off as “senioritis” and reassured myself that everything would be fine. If anything, my three lovers had been supportive of me whenever I decided to stay home and study.
But no matter who was to blame for my current situation, the solution remained the same. I had to prioritize my life a certain way.
“You okay, kiddo?” Dad suddenly asked me.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked.
“You got a drink out of the fridge, and have been standing here with it in your hand for five minutes,” he replied.
I glanced at the beer can in my hand. “Sorry. I was thinking about school.”
He crossed his arms in that fatherly way of his. “Want to talk about it?” “Let’s talk about something else. Here’s a question: what are your top five favorite memories of me?”
He blinked. “Why five? Why not ten?”
“It’s a thing my roommates turned me on to. Top five. Let’s hear it.”
“Fair enough.” Dad began counting off memories on his fingers. “The first steps you took, on the front lawn outside. You did it in front of the mailman, and it made him cry because his grandson had just started walking. Number two: when you tried out for the swim team. The first meet.”
“But that was the only meet I competed in!” I replied. “And I came in last place.”
“Sure, but you tried something new,” he replied. “You were afraid of swimming, but you stuck with it and went to the meet. And even though the other students finished first, you beat your fear. It made me proud.” I took a long sip of beer to cover my smile.
“Three: when you broke up with Shaun Shroeder.”
I sputtered a laugh. “You remember that?”
“Of course I do. That boy treated you horribly, and you had enough selfrespect to dump him. And you shouted at him until he cried. I’ve never been prouder. Four: dropping you off at your dorm freshman year. I remember thinking to myself: this is it. My girl is an adult.”
“Sometimes I don’t feel like an adult,” I muttered. “Okay, that’s four. One more.”
“The last one, my favorite memory of you, is watching you walk down the aisle at your graduation ceremony.”
I gave him a confused look. “Really? The ceremony was four hours long, and you said you hated it.”
“Not your high school graduation,” he said. “Your college graduation next May.”
I took his beer away from him. “I think you need to be cut off, Dad. That’s not how memories work.”
“No, but that will be my favorite memory of you, when it happens,” he insisted. “Now, are you going to tell me about the boy that’s bothering you?”
“I… what?” I blurted out.
Dad narrowed his eyes at me.
“I don’t have a boy problem,” I said. “I’m struggling to choose… which graduate school program to accept. I need to send them an answer in January, and the decision has been distracting me.”
“What are your options?” Dad asked. “I know which three you got into: Coastal California College, UCLA, or Northern Arizona. But tell me about the strengths of each.”
“Well…” I swallowed hard. Even though we were talking about college programs, that wasn’t the choice I was really thinking of. “UCLA has the most beautiful campus, and a great athletics program. Flagstaff has the best social scene, and the strongest psychology department in the nation. But Coastal California College is the most comforting to me, since I’ve been there four years, and I love the professors.”
“Hmm,” he mused. “That’s a tough one.”
“Exactly. Can you make the decision for me?”
He smiled and clapped me on the shoulder. “That’s part of being a parent, kiddo. Teaching your children to make their own decisions. All three sound great. It’s too bad you have to just choose one.”
“Yeah. It’s too bad.”
“There’s one more option you haven’t considered,” he said. “You don’t have to go to graduate school at all. You can get a job now, or even take a year off to decide what you want to do. Especially since you’ve been struggling to choose your specific psychology focus.”
“True,” I said, nodding along. “Just because I have three great options doesn’t mean I have to choose one.”
My phone went off in my pocket. “This is Erin. I should take it.” Before I answered it, I gave my dad a hug. “Thanks for the talk. Believe it or not, it really helped.”
I hurried into the dining room for privacy and answered the FaceTime call. “Erin!”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU FILTHY SKANK!” she shouted, her face filling the screen. “Sorry I didn’t call earlier. You know our roommate Roberta? She dropped out of college. Packed all her stuff up and went home. No idea what she’s going to do, now.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’ve kind of been keeping to myself since coming home.”
She frowned on the screen. “Leslie, what’s wrong? And don’t say nothing. I can read you like a stop light, and right now you’re red.”
I spent the next few minutes catching her up on everything that had happened at my house on campus.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “This happened four days ago, and you’re just now telling me? Am I hearing this right? Me, your best friend in the whole world-no, the whole universe-and you waited until now?!?!”
“You were busy with your own classes last week! And I needed to figure out my own feelings before bringing them to you.”
“And? What have you figured out?”
“I don’t know!” I whined. “I’m no closer to a solution than I was before. I can’t let myself get distracted anymore. Not with my career and my future on the line. But I feel like I’m dying of embarrassment every time I imagine seeing Riley, Avery, or Harper again. The thought of facing the three of them fills me with dread.”
Erin grinned at the screen. She looked like she was lost in thought.
“What?” I asked. “What is it?”
“I think,” Erin replied, “that I may have a solution for you.”