Broken Hero

He’s quiet for a beat before he pulls me closer. “I’m glad.”

I wake to frantic movement beside me in the bed.

Oliver is thrashing, the comforter pulled tight. He’s groaning in his sleep as if in pain. I clamber onto my knees and put a hand on his shoulder. It’s taut and sweaty under my hand.From NôvelDrama.Org.

“Oliver?””No,” he murmurs, body going tense. “No…”

“Oliver!” I grasp both his shoulders. His eyes are roaming beneath his eyelids and his hair sticks to his forehead. I don’t know what’s happening, but I know I need to get him out of this. His skin is clammy to the touch.

“Come on, wake up.” I smooth back his hair. “You’re dreaming. You’re ok. You need to wake up now.”

Blue eyes blink open. For a moment, he just stares at me, unseeing, and then I’m flipped over onto my back. Oliver covers me completely. His hand is on my shoulder, pinning me in place. His eyes are wide with terror and confusion.

“Oliver?”He blinks again and then he’s off me, getting out of bed. “Shit. Shit.” He runs a hand through his hair and strides across his bedroom, disappearing into the bathroom. A heartbeat later I hear the shower running.

My heart is pounding from the little interlude. I’ve never seen evidence of his nightmares before.

What do I do now? Do I leave him alone? The sheets on his side are a wild tangle, and the comforter is tossed aside. I get up and quietly re-make the bed.

The shower keeps running in the bathroom, but he hasn’t shut the door. I sigh and put my hands on my hips. Think, Lucy. The websites I read didn’t say you should let your loved ones with PTSD pull away. Respect their boundaries, yes, but not pull away.

I’m not afraid of Oliver.

For him, yes, but not of him. If he pushes me away, it won’t be personal. But if he doesn’t… well, I want to be there for him, in any way I can.

The decision made, I square my shoulders and open the door to the bathroom.

He’s in the shower with his hands braced against the wall. Water runs in rivulets down his wide shoulders and the grooves of his muscled back.

I shimmy my panties down. I don’t want to startle him, so I slide the shower door open and make sure it’s loud. Oliver doesn’t turn around.

I wrap my arms around him. His chest rises and falls rapidly, as if he’s been running, and the water sends goosebumps across my skin.

He’s showering with ice water.

I reach for the dial and turn the heat up. Oliver doesn’t in any way acknowledge that I’m there, but I keep my arms around him. Maybe if I just stand here and remind him that he’s not alone. I rest my cheek against his back and take deep, calming breaths. We stand like that for a long time.

His hand finally covers mine where it rests on his abs.

“Thank you.”I press a kiss to the skin of his back. “Anytime.”

He takes a deep breath before he turns around. Tentative hands find my shoulders and reverent fingers curl around my arm. He traces my shoulder, right where he held me earlier. I can feel his heartbeat against my own.

“Are you okay?”I nod. “I’m fine.”

He doesn’t look convinced, glancing back down to my shoulder. I stretch up on my tiptoes and put a hand on his cheek. It’s already rough with stubble. “You didn’t hurt me.”

“Okay,” he says. He leans forward and rests his forehead against mine.

We stand there, for what might be a minute or an hour, holding one another under the hot water. It takes time, but his frantic heartbeat eventually slows.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs against my lips.

“There’s nothing to apologize for.”

Oliver pulls me closer until every inch of our bodies are touching. I can feel the scarred skin on his shoulder under my hand. He sweeps my hair back to press a kiss to my neck.

“You’re okay,” I whisper under the warm water. “We’re okay.”

I’m not sure he hears me.

I send the final email and lean back, smiling. Logan will have no difficulty getting work now. I had promised Lucy that I would let her handle Gavin, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t support my friend. If that meant I’d also piss off Gavin, well… some things just couldn’t be helped.

My name carried clout here, even if I didn’t always like being reminded of that. Recommending Logan’s business to all of my suppliers meant something. So did the fact that Logan was offering a quicker turn-around and lower prices than Whittaker Installations.

It didn’t hurt that Logan had made an anonymous call to the State Department of Fire and Electrical Safety about Whittaker’s habit of undertaking unlicensed electrical work.

Don’t get mad, get even.

I close my laptop and walk to my office window. It’s a position I’m getting more than a little used to these days, spying across the ranch towards the red roof of the spa. Today, I look for her with more than a little unease.

She’d woken me up from a nightmare and I’d pinned her down. It didn’t matter if she said she was okay, or that I didn’t hurt her, or that it was only for a second. Behavior like that couldn’t happen again. I’d been so ashamed, so angry at myself, but she had acted like it was nothing at all. Like she understood-like she saw me.

She didn’t know who I’d been before. She wasn’t intimidated by my family history or obsessed with the legacy of my father, or my grandfather before him.

She wasn’t comparing me-not to them and not to who I had been before.

She listened when I spoke, heard what I said, and reflected on it. There didn’t seem to be any expectations where she was concerned. She was also silly as hell, saying whatever came to her mind without fear. There was a confidence to that that I admired. Not to mention that I laughed more around her than I remembered doing in years.

Lucy sure as hell deserved better than me, but I would be damned if I gave up without a fight. I’d try, and most likely fail, to live up to the man she deserved. To sort myself out. And if it failed, this thing with her… well, at least I’d be a better brother, a better boss, and a better uncle for it.

After her class is done, I walk the familiar gravel path down to the spa. It’s been used more these weeks than it had for years before her arrival. Austin darts ahead, but I whistle for him. “In here, buddy. Stables first.”

Lucy cares about us being a secret, at least for now, and I can’t agree more. Being questioned about my intentions by every busybody… by Sarah… I shudder. I don’t want the poking and prodding that people here excel at. So I take the long route through the stables. I greet Whiskey with a sugar cube and scratch Ginger behind the ears. Tim is unloading a new bale of hay and gives me a wave.

When I finally make it to the spa, the back door is wide open. Upbeat pop music flows from the stereo and I see Lucy dancing as she cleans off the floor in her yoga studio. Her ponytail bobs in time with the beat.

She pauses when she sees me, mid-headshake. Her smile turns sheepish. “How much of that did you see?”

“Not nearly as much as I wanted to.”

She groans. “At least it was a dazzling performance. I-No! Austin, not in here!”

I block the door with my knee. “Out.”

Austin looks up at me for a few seconds. His dark eyes are imploring, begging me to change my mind, before he slinks back. He lies down at the foot of the stairs with a sigh.

“Sorry, but I just cleaned.”