Alpha Alec's Redemption

“I don’t get it, so she told you that you’d have all the benefits of a shifted wolf, but you won’t be able to shift?” King asked incredulously, his face conveying how hard he was finding it hard to believe me.

I nodded my head, still reeling from what Nyx had told me.

I’d stayed in the forest for an hour or so before going back to the small, three-bedroom cabin we called home. Thanks to the cash Beth gave us and some from King, we were able to rent the cabin. It was in a secluded area in the forest and offered us privacy. Of course, it wasn’t a permanent dwelling, but it was a start.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” Raven whispered, looking at me as if she could figure out what the hell was happening.

“I know,” I sighed. “But that’s what she told me.”

“Can you feel her? Are you able to communicate with her?” This came from King.

“Yes, but that’s the extent of it.”

What Nyx told me kept playing in my mind. I was so confused that a headache had begun working its way from the back of my head. Most of all, I was just disappointed. Disappointed that nothing had gone the way I’d expected and hoped for.

I never imagined that when I turned twenty-one, I would be banished, accused of a crime I didn’t commit, pregnant, detested by the father of my baby, and unable to shift. Everything was just piling up on me, trying to suffocate me. Sometimes it was hard to keep my head above water, and that’s what it feels like since that night months ago. Like I was struggling to keep myself from drowning.

“She didn’t say anything else?” Raven’s question pulled me back from my thoughts.

“No… Only that I wasn’t ready to shift, that I should focus on getting better and stronger, and that one. day everything will make sense,” I replied, feeling all around drained.

“Interesting.” King whispered, but left it at that.

I wanted to sleep and forget what a clusterf**k my life had turned into, but even sleep didn’t come easily. Not when I was hunted by the nightmares that plagued me. The nightmare I went through when I was in that dungeon.

Raven must have sensed my tiredness because she asked, “You want to rest?”All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

I just nodded my head, even though I dreaded closing my eyes.

“You know I can help with that, right?” she asked.

“With what?”

“Sleep,” she replied. “I know you don’t sleep peacefully; I know that nightmares hunt you every time you try to sleep. You’re barely surviving with only two or three hours of sleep every day, Sadie.”

“How did you know about the nightmares?”

“You wake up screaming, and sometimes it takes both of us to calm you down. You barely register us every time because you always look like you’re in a trance. Like your mind is still trapped in the nightmare.”

I turned to King, since he’s the one who answered. My eyes kept shifting from him to Raven. I never wanted them to know what I was going through, but I guess I wasn’t hiding it well enough. I didn’t even know that I woke up screaming.

“I can cast a spell that will put you out cold. Nothing will be able to disturb your sleep.” Raven holds. my hand softly, and I can’t help but be grateful that she found me that day.

I don’t know where I would be if it weren’t for Beth and her.

“Okay,” I said softly, after thinking about it for a while.

Raven is right. I couldn’t go on running low on sleep. It wasn’t healthy for me or my baby. I couldn’t let myself wither away when my child depended on me and needed me.

She started chanting, and sooner than I’d anticipated, my eyes started dropping. I fell into a dreamless sleep, and it was peaceful. It’s the best one I’ve had in a long time.

Two months later

I moved the vacuum slowly over the carpet. For some weird reason, the noise drowned the ones in my head. It distracted me enough that I didn’t think, something for which I was thankful.

My head is a mess and I admit that. It’s not a place I like getting lost in, but it happens more than I care to admit. More than is healthy for me. In my defense, it’s hard for me not to think or get lost in my thoughts. I have nothing to do, given that King and Rave take care of everything.

Even getting them to agree to let me vacuum the house was a chore. I know what you’re thinking- that I’m ungrateful and sound like a brat. I am not. I just wanted to help. I wanted to be useful. I’m not used to having others cater to every one of my needs.

Besides, keeping busy is good for me. I don’t want to be drowned in the darkness. I’m trying to escape the dark thoughts that filled my head and the coldness that seemed to seep slowly into my heart. I don’t want to forget the old me, but slowly I feel like I’m losing grip on her.