CHAPTER 50
AUDREY’S POV
As I stepped out of the hall, I could feel several pairs of eyes on me. This was the first time I was out in public since my return, and I was already regretting it. I didn’t know if I should increase my steps, or just walk back inside the hall and wait until the entire place was free of people. I decided that the former was the best decision, and increased my steps. It almost felt like I was running, and I didn’t realize I was, until I began to hear mockful chuckles behind me. Slowly, the chuckles became more audible, and I could feel hot tears cloud my eyes. I bent my head in embarrassment, and ran off.
The moment I got to the house, I uran past my uncle and made my way to my room.
“Audrey!” I heard him call, but I didn’t have it in me to say a word in response. Though I was worried that he might assume I wasn’t happy about Denver’s new appointment, but I made a note in my head to meet him and explain later.
I laid in a way that my head faced the pillow, and cried my heart out. I couldn’t believe what I was now reduced to. This was a pack that used to be under the rule of my parents before. These were people who mostly never had the guts to speak to my face. Now, they could openly laugh at me.
My life was such a mess, and it pained me so much. I didn’t believe someone could be sadder than I presently was. At this point, all I really wanted to do was end it all, because it seemed like there was nothing left for me here.
Denver had just been appointed as the new Alpha of our pack. I was truly happy for him, but a part of me knew that I would never have my brother back. Being Alpha meant everything to Andrew, and now that our cousin was Alpha, Andrew would only hate me more. Of course, he blamed me for his back luck.
I couldn’t shake off the look in his eyes, when we locked gazes at the hall earlier today. They were full of disdain and absolute hate. Most of all, they had been filled with disappointment. I wondered if the pack members made fun of him as they did me today. If they did, I was definitely going to be blamed for it too.
I thought about all the unfair things I had said to Denver when he told me he found his mate. I had called her a ‘weak omega’, telling him it was better to reject her.
Now, here we were. I was the rejected one, and that ‘weak omega’ was now a Luna. Everyday, the universe kept teaching me a lesson.
I stayed in bed for the rest of the day, pretending I was asleep whenever anyone stepped in to check on me.
I was dying inside, and the goddess knew that I needed an escape out of the pain I was feeling. I finally found it possible to stand from my bed and when I did, I felt myself falling back on the bed. I began to feel dizzy. Oh, goddess. Could I just die already? Why didn’t Logan just sentence me to death by hanging, alongside my parents?
Well, it is clear why he didn’t. Dead men feel no pains. Just then, a dangerous idea resurfaced in my mind.
An idea that had been continuously tugging at my mind for days now. It promised me that escape I desperately needed, but then I had been too much of a coward to go ahead with it. All I needed was courage.
A tear made its way down my cheeks, and made me so angry. I was tired of crying. I just wanted it all to stop.
I tried to stand up again and this time, I was successful. With slow steps towards the window, I peeped out to see it was a full moon. I asked for the goddess’s forgiveness for having such an abominable plan on a night as sacred as this, but it had to be done.
If I let it exceed this very night, I would never have the guts to do it again. I would have to keep enduring a purposeless life, filled with hate from everyone around me.
I pulled open the door of my room, feeling so empty and broken. With each step I took through the broad and long hallway, more tears made its way down my face. I eventually stepped into the living room and when I got to the door, I unlocked it. I walked out of the living room and went straight to the backyard, where we normally hung out clothes to dry after laundry. The sole tool I needed tonight, was there.
‘Audrey!’ My wolf suddenly sprung up in action. ‘Please stop. Don’t do this to us’. She pleaded, and it only made me feel worse. She was too much of a great companion, to have been stuck with someone like me.
‘I’m sorry’. I released a whimper. ‘But I can’t do this anymore. It’s only more suffering from here. Let’s just end it all.’ I felt my emotions slowing shutting down at that point, but my heart didn’t stop beating loudly in my head.
‘But you still have a reason to live! We have Denver. Isn’t he enough?’.
‘Please stop!’ I pleaded, feeling my resolve shake at the mention of Denver.
Just as I approached the cloth line, I halted my movement, convinced I heard a sound. A few seconds later, I heard the sound again and turned towards the supposed direction, only to see a cattle tied to a pole. Releasing a sigh, I continued on my way to the clothing line. I couldn’t afford for anyone to see me and definitely disrupt my plans now.This material belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.
Reaching towards the iron rod, I began to loosen the rope used to spread our clothes. I could hear the loud howls of wolfs who had probably just had their first shifts, and hoped for the best for them. Soon, I had myself a full rope. Folding it in a continuous circle until it was exhausted, I began making my way out of the compound. I needed to do this much farther from Denver’s home. I wouldn’t want to scar him with something as horrific as this forever.
“Audrey.” I stilled my movement when I heard a voice behind me. Instantly, fear took over. But this voice wasn’t familiar in any way. “What are you holding?” This unknown person asked once more, making my hands begin to shake.
With slow steps, I turned to see who it was. The full moon had shone brightly against her face, but I still couldn’t recognize who she was.
“Oh no!” She put her palm to her mouth in shock. I didn’t need anyone to tell me that she’d just figured out my plan. She pulled her hand from her mouth, and gave a pleading look. “Please honey, don’t ever try to do this again.” She begged, tears clouding her eyes. Her tears touched the deepest parts of my soul. How could she feel so sorry for me, to the extent of crying?
“I’m pathetic.” I released a sigh, tears accompanying it. “And I’m tired of crying.” I added in between tears. “This is the only way.” I continued, my throat suddenly feeling dry and sore. “And I doubted a knife would do a clean job, seeing as I heal really fast.” I sniffled. “So I settled for this.” I raised the rope in emphasis. I didn’t see it coming when she ran towards me, and gave me a tight hug. She was more petite than I was, so it almost felt like I was the one consoling her.
It actually felt like she was going through her fair shares of problems too. We stayed in each other’s arms for a long while, and I didn’t even realize when the rope fell off my hand.
When I had cried to my heart’s content, my eyes feeling really sore and definitely red, I asked the next question.
“Who are you?” At my question, she released a sigh and pulled away from me.
“You don’t remember me?” She asked.
“No, I don’t.” I shook my head in negation.
“I am Freda. You rescued my daughter from the hands of a rogue rapist some years back. And even sustained serious injuries while fighting off the bastard.” She gave a sad expression.
Immediately, I realized who she was. That particular incident had made me receive several slaps from my father. According to him, I would have let the ‘unfortunate’ girl face her fate, rather than almost killing myself in order to save her. From what Logan had told me, that girl was mated to the Beta of the cold moon pack now.
“You’re Lily’s mom.” I muttered, and she nodded with a small smile.
“I thank the goddess for ordering my steps to you tonight. My house isn’t far from here. I was on my way to the pack house to watch the young wolves have their first shifts, and that was when I saw you out here. You didn’t seem like you had the plans of attending the….” She trailed off, squeezing my hands endearingly. “You’re not pathetic, my child. This pain you feel, would pass.” She assured, but I actually doubted that.
**
**
“Why didn’t you wait up for me after the appointment ceremony?” Denver asked, adjusting his collar. “And why are your eyes so swollen? You’re hurting me, Audrey.” He sighed, and came to sit next to me on the bed.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered, bowing my head so low. Would I have really killed myself last night, if Freda didn’t intervene? What would have been Denver’s reaction when he returned from the ceremony last night, only to see I was dead? I was truly selfish.
“I’m sorry as well.” He sighed, and held my hands in his. “I know my new position makes things more difficult between you and Drew.”
“You deserve every honour you get, Denver. You’re a good man.” I sighed.
“Would you like to accompany me to the pack house today?”
“I really do not want to go out again.” I rushed out, shaking my head. He seemed puzzled for a while, before exhaling deeply.
“Who said it?” He suddenly asked.
“Said what?” I asked in confusion.
“Yesterday is the frst time you stepped out since you returned to the pack. Somehow, you rush back home without Leah and I, and this morning, your eyes are so swollen. Who said those means words to you?”
“Nobody.”
“Don’t lie to me, Audrey.”
“I’m not lying.” I muttered. “Even if I tell you, what would you do? Go and beat them all up? Moreover, no one said anything. They all just laughed at me, and they were a lot. So I can’t really point out a particular person.”
“Do not worry.” He sighed. “All these would stop soon.”
“How?”
“There’s something I was supposed to tell you yesterday but couldn’t, because you were indisposed.”
“What is it?” I asked, hoping it wasn’t a disappointing information. It didn’t seem so though.
“So…..” He wet his lips with his tongue. “A letter came from the palace yesterday.” At his words, I froze. My mind ran through several possibilities. Could it be that he missed me and wanted me back? Denver had said my problems would stop soon. That was the only thing that could end my problems. Logan. “A letter from the king’s father.” He continued, and my heart sank a bit. His father? Not him? There was still hope though. “The previous king has requested you become the new chief commander to our pack’s army.”