A REASON FOR MARRIAGE

Fuelled by a savage wave of frustration, he felt the slow flare of anger begin to burn. “You think you can keep tantalizing me and that I will be like a tame puppy who will just keep trotting behind you and taking whatever it is that you dish out to me? Letting you turn me down, ignore me for weeks, walk away from me-so that I can’t sleep at night thinking about your pale, curved body? Taking me so far with your sweet, soft promise and then acting outraged? Is that what men usually let you do, Sara?”

She was too busy catching her breath to rise to the taunt.

“Have you become a tease, Sara?” he persisted.

Her lips were trembling, “No. No.”

“Just a woman who promises so much, who lets a man touch her so intimately and then freezes up? If that isn’t your definition of a tease, then I’d like to know what is.”

Frustratedly, she shook her head-knowing that he spoke nothing but the truth. She was acting like a naive little virgin around him, when they both knew she was anything but. The kind of woman who would let a man only go so far… Was that because she thought that resisting him would make him fall for her? When just one look at the contemptuous mask of his features proved that love was the very last thing he was feeling?

And what of her own desires? Hadn’t she been living like a nun for the past two years until Simon came along? Although it had been her decision to live that way, she couldn’t deny the fact that his presence in her life had helped her open up again to the idea of entertaining a man. It was all there for the taking if only she could accept that it would just be no-strings sex.

“I’m not saying I don’t want you-how could I when I’ve just proved the very opposite?” she whispered. “It’s just that I…I can’t let myself get hurt…Not again,”

He nodded, “And for some reason you’re very convinced that that’s what I’m going to do? Hurt you?” When she said nothing, he took a step back away from her, “It’s fine, Sara. Have a nice life, and don’t worry about your payment. I’ll send it over first thing on Monday morning, and I’ll find someone else to work on the apartment. Take care,”

_________

It took Sara ten minutes to gather herself together and find the courage to leave the room and join the party again. As she made her way outside, her mother appeared at her side,

“There you are, honey! I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Felicia McCall said and took her arm. “Come say goodbye to your brother and his wife before they leave,”Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

Sara couldn’t find the strength to say anything, so she quietly followed her mother to say goodbye to Scott and Vivian, who were headed to the hotel they’d booked for the night before they’d fly to France the following morning for their honeymoon. As she bade them farewell, she looked around for Simon, but couldn’t find him anywhere, so she guessed he’d gone home.

Her heart clenched inside her, and she could barely concentrate on anything Vivian and Scott were saying. After the newlyweds left, the guests began to leave too. Her mother followed minutes later and Sara found her way back to her car and got in, feeling lost and confused.

She drove carefully and slowly, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Simon. He was an amazing lover, she would give him that. No one had ever made her feel the way he did. Her heart rate increased whenever she saw him, and whenever he looked at her, she felt like the most desirable woman. No one had ever touched her to the point that she lost herself the way she always did whenever she was in his arms, and just the thought of what they’d shared in that room made her shiver… Made her want him all over again.

Was she being stupid by walking away from him? He was a man, she was a woman, and they wanted each other, so why was she holding back? So what if he didn’t want a relationship? She didn’t want one either, especially since she knew it wasn’t going to lead anywhere. So why couldn’t they just enjoy each other’s company, and they could end things peacefully later. They wouldn’t need to make a commitment to each other that would complicate things, so why push him away?

Those unanswered questions in her head, Sara found herself driving to his apartment instead of hers. She was drawn to the man, and trying to deny it was just torturing herself and she was done doing that.

Security let her without hesitation, and Sara guessed that his order to let her in whenever she came over still stood. She was even more surprised to see that he’d not changed the code to the outside door or the private lift going straight up to his apartment.

Simon heard the lift, and he wondered just who had the code to his lift, and why they were coming to visit him so late at night. After his encounter with Sara at the reception, he was in no mood to entertain anyone. He was exhausted, horny and angry, and all he wanted to do was get some sleep. He’d already taken a shower, pumped himself full of whiskey, and was ready to jump into bed when he’d heard the lift.

Simon walked out, and was stunned as hell to see Sara, still wearing her Chief bridesmaids gown, and there was a look on her face that looked a lot like she was nervous about something. For a few seconds, neither of them spoke, and then Simon wondered if something had happened to her. His confused look turned into concern and he took two steps closer to her.

“Sara?” he said, “Is everything… Are you alright? What are you doing here?”

Touched by his genuine concern for her, Sara realized at that moment that she’d not planned what she was going to say to him once she arrived. She’d just felt the urge to go to him, and that was exactly what she had done and now that she was standing in his house, she had no idea how to say what she wanted to say. She didn’t even know where to begin.